I've always wanted to get married. However, a week ago while I was in the library I overheard some women talking about marriage. One woman wanted to divorce her husband and her female friends were telling her things like, "Stay with him a little longer and wait for him to make more money before you divorce. Then you can get more out of him." I was horrified by the women talking about marriage as if it were a business or a scam. Then I heard one woman saying something that really scared me. She said, "Christian men are easy targets. Their religion forbids prenups and forces them to provide for their wives."
The reason why this was scary was because I am a Christian man myself who has a net worth of $1.4 million now. I am an optimist and still believe that not all woman are gold diggers but I cannot be certain that the one I fall in love with will not be. The Bible warns that the devil disguises himself. I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.
What should I do? Should I give up on marriage completely?
Last edited by lovenorak; 22nd June 2008 at 6:43 AM.
Disobey your god and then if you get divorced pray for forgiveness. No man should ever marry without a prenup because you never know when a woman will turn on you. Women like that justify sexism and misogyny if you ask me.
I've always wanted to get married. However, a week ago while I was in the library I overheard some women talking about marriage. One woman wanted to divorce her husband and her female friends were telling her things like, "Stay with him a little longer and wait for him to make more money before you divorce. Then you can get more out of him." I was horrified by the women talking about marriage as if it were a business or a scam. Then I heard one woman saying something that really scared me. She said, "Christian men are easy targets. Their religion forbids prenups and forces them to provide for their wives."
The reason why this was scary was because I am a Christian man myself who has a net worth of $1.4 million now. I am an optimist and still believe that not all woman are gold diggers but I cannot be certain that the one I fall in love with will not be. The Bible warns that the devil disguises himself. I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.
What should I do? Should I give up on marriage completely?
I have never heard such crap. Did God make you dumb? NO, he expects us to handle our business. He never said we shouldn't protect ourselves. As you said, the devil disguises himself in many ways. And we are instructed to watch and gird ourselves from his attacks. No disrespect to your pastor, but he sounds like a nut. He should rightly divide the word. God gave you a functioning brain, and it is clear that you are intelligent because of you are seeking answers, so use the brain he gave you. God bless.
__________________
Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
Whee in the Bible does it say that? I can read the teachings against divorce and against sueing each other, assuming you also follow being equally yoked then she is also a Christian. But remember nothing about contracts added to the actual state and religious marriage.
There is no place in the bible that prohibits prenuptial agreements. In the case of the OP, who has a substantial net worth, he should definitely have a prenupt. It is very tragic but in the end times a great percentage of people put money over everything else, including their own parents. People even kill their parents for money. (Real examples given upon request.)
Today, as much as I hate to admit, marriage is a business as much as anything else and you shouldn't take on a partner who can rip you off in an instant without a written agreement ahead of time. Young people will never understand this so, to those, don't even try!
I can see why your pastor advises against a prenup – you're accepting a failure, "bailout" clause in a relationship where you're supposed to be placing faith in each other and y'alls future. And that totally goes against the spirit of a healthy marriage.
however, practicality reigns in this day and age, where you just can't be too careful because people see money and get greedy. Like the woman you overhead telling her friend to chase after Christian men for this reason. Her rationale is screwy, not all women (or men, for that matter) are like this.
on a personal note, I don't think I could acquiesce to signing a pre-nuptial agreement because that tells me my mate has no faith in us or me. Again, I understand the practicality of wanting to have a pre-nup in place, but I really don't need a man who values money more than what he's getting with me.
but then again, I've got a real problem with people who feel it's their right to steal their partner's life from under their feet because htey're so filled with bitterness and want to make them "pay" when the relationship is over. A person like that has no honor, in my book ...
__________________ I think my favorite phrase at this moment is, "Shut your piehole!" It doesn't really refer to anything nasty, but it sure does sound rude.
I've always wanted to get married. However, a week ago while I was in the library I overheard some women talking about marriage. One woman wanted to divorce her husband and her female friends were telling her things like, "Stay with him a little longer and wait for him to make more money before you divorce. Then you can get more out of him." I was horrified by the women talking about marriage as if it were a business or a scam. Then I heard one woman saying something that really scared me. She said, "Christian men are easy targets. Their religion forbids prenups and forces them to provide for their wives."
The reason why this was scary was because I am a Christian man myself who has a net worth of $1.4 million now. I am an optimist and still believe that not all woman are gold diggers but I cannot be certain that the one I fall in love with will not be. The Bible warns that the devil disguises himself. I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.
What should I do? Should I give up on marriage completely?
What branch (tradition of man) of Christianity did you elect to be a member of?
P.S. That women you overheard in the library was my ex-wife. Did you smell sulfur?
Wow, "Did God make you dumb?", such a intelligent way to give advice. Don't you just hate it when people try to make others feel bad about themselves when they ask a question?
Well, like everyone of intelligence and non-judgmental thought said...There is nothing in the Bible about having and not having a prenup. It is one of those things I think each person needs to look at on an individual basis. On one hand it shows fear and mistrust and not to mention greed and selfishness on some parts. On the flip side, there are some schemers and vindictive women AND men out there who are willing to financially ruin their partner should the relationship fail (or should their schemes come to fruitation).
My suggestion is this, you have to look at you reasoning for the prenuptial agreement and pray on it. Now if your doing it for your greed and to screw over a spouse, then you shall be judged on that by God. But, if you are willing and able to share your marital wealth and take into account your ex-wife's contributions to the marriage, then go for it. But, FIRST get to the point you are ready for marriage before you start even worrying about such things.
Wow, "Did God make you dumb?", such a intelligent way to give advice. Don't you just hate it when people try to make others feel bad about themselves when they ask a question?
Not as much as I hate when people try to make others feel bad when maybe it's just guy-to-guy comradery and we can joke like that. Maybe the OP can decide if that actually bothered him enough to even be commented on?
Quote:
Well, like everyone of intelligence and non-judgmental thought said...
and don't you hate when people start off posts with such arrogance? Does Proverbs 8:13 ring a bell? Ok. I'll let up on you now.. go ahead...
Quote:
There is nothing in the Bible about having and not having a prenup. It is one of those things I think each person needs to look at on an individual basis. On one hand it shows fear and mistrust and not to mention greed and selfishness on some parts. On the flip side, there are some schemers and vindictive women AND men out there who are willing to financially ruin their partner should the relationship fail (or should their schemes come to fruitation).
ooops sorry...one more time...in all of your excellence and intelligence, did you mean "fruition?" You know, when there is a red thingy below the word in your editor window, that usually means something's afoot.
I've always wanted to get married. However, a week ago while I was in the library I overheard some women talking about marriage. One woman wanted to divorce her husband and her female friends were telling her things like, "Stay with him a little longer and wait for him to make more money before you divorce. Then you can get more out of him." I was horrified by the women talking about marriage as if it were a business or a scam. Then I heard one woman saying something that really scared me. She said, "Christian men are easy targets. Their religion forbids prenups and forces them to provide for their wives."
The reason why this was scary was because I am a Christian man myself who has a net worth of $1.4 million now. I am an optimist and still believe that not all woman are gold diggers but I cannot be certain that the one I fall in love with will not be. The Bible warns that the devil disguises himself. I spoke to my pastor and he told me that indeed a Christian cannot ask for a prenup and that if I get married I'd have to accept the risks.
What should I do? Should I give up on marriage completely?
I've never heard of any rule that says Christians can't have prenups.
God gave us brains so why not use it. No man with a brain that is aware of the ways of the female gender would enter a marriage without protection. A man has to set himself so that if his wife does join the walkaway club he can quickly get himself out in one piece. A resentful woman who blams her husband for everything wrong can't be reasoned so it is good to have a legal document to insure yourself.
Not as much as I hate when people try to make others feel bad when maybe it's just guy-to-guy comradery and we can joke like that. Maybe the OP can decide if that actually bothered him enough to even be commented on?
and don't you hate when people start off posts with such arrogance? Does Proverbs 8:13 ring a bell? Ok. I'll let up on you now.. go ahead...
ooops sorry...one more time...in all of your excellence and intelligence, did you mean "fruition?" You know, when there is a red thingy below the word in your editor window, that usually means something's afoot.
Dear Trust,
Just to give you some heads up...I was referring to an earlier poster who felt the need to belittle a person because they asked a question the may think everyone should already know. So no I was not speaking in arrogance but was hoping some would take notice to how they talk to people. So, forgive me if that was outside of your view and understanding.
Hmmm. Thanks for the correction, I too, like you, am only human and prone to make mistakes. Thanks for the spelling correction and yes I know about the little red line, but don't always catch it. OOPS! Does that make me human yet again? Well anyway, I have dismissed your comments anyway, so I guess that means this does not exist.
That women you overheard in the library was my ex-wife. Did you smell sulfur?
oh, nice. Very nice!
No man with a brain that is aware of the ways of the female gender would enter a marriage without protection. A man has to set himself so that if his wife does join the walkaway club he can quickly get himself out in one piece. A resentful woman who blams her husband for everything wrong can't be reasoned so it is good to have a legal document to insure yourself.
woggle, women aren't the only ones guilty of Finance 101 in a marriage ... I've seen men soak up their wives' support as they fight their way though college and grad school/professional classes only to divorce those women as soon as they get their degrees. And there are the men who sue sue sue their wives for alimony so they don't have to look for work that can support them.
if you're going to complain, then do it fully. Otherwise your posts look like mere rants that no one will want to pay attention to because they've heard you carry on ad nauseum about the Evils of Women. We know there are bad women out there, just like there are bad men, you know?
I'm always offended when I hear stories like that. Offended both that there are women who are that shallow and give us a bad reputation and also that more than a few men seem to assume all women are like that.
I would tell you to wait until you are absolutely sure of a woman's character before marrying her. Easier said than done, but maybe even suggesting a prenup will help weed out the gold-diggers before you even marry them? As a Christian myself, the idea of a prenup is a little depressing since I don't believe in divorce (in my life) but I don't think it's unchristian to have one. Different denominations have very different ideas on how to interpret things anyway, so don't let one group's opinion get you down.
I promise you, not all women are like that. Don't give up!
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