In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Asked her out, is this a nice rejection or leaving me an opening?
I'm probably going to try again with her...anyway asking out girls isn't exactly my favorite task but I did it anyway.
I asked out a co-worker at my job if she wanted to go for coffee afterwork (the same day) if she was free. I didn't exactly get to finish my sentence though, and she immediately said "yes,(with a slight pause), I'm meeting up with a college friend after work." I mean I believe her though, she was definitely dressed for the occasion.
The yes was a little confusing at first so I then proceeded to say "cool I was thinking after 6", she said "oh that's when I'm meeting her. but definitely in the future (referring to coffee)." Anytime I speak to her she has a big smile on her face...but aside from that she seems like a pretty reserved girl, and I noticed she doesn't really talk with anyone at the office..kind of a loner.
Do something like, "Too bad we couldn't go for coffee [on Saturday]...why don't you let me know when you're free?"
If she is interested, she will definitely let you know when she's free. And if she's not interested, she'll never make reference to it again...meaning you ought not to bring it up again, either.
Hope it works out.
__________________
"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." ~ Andy Warhol
If so, what happened? If not, did she counter offer?
In my experiences, the yes with a pause with a friend is an opening. It also helps her feel safe by making it a 3 person gathering. The friend can keep things civil.
If so, what happened? If not, did she counter offer?
In my experiences, the yes with a pause with a friend is an opening. It also helps her feel safe by making it a 3 person gathering. The friend can keep things civil.
It sounds like you guys are more confused than I am!
Well pretty much after she said "definitely in the future" I just said "That's cool." and just went back to my desk. I mean that was a couple days ago. So I'm assuming she's leaving an opening for me. And I figure I'll ask her again some other time.
The exact way I asked her was "Hey by the way X if you're free afterwork, would you like to go for coffee?" right when I was finishing my question...she said "yes, I'm meeting up with my friend blah blah blah"
I don't know, maybe she was just as nervous as me. Though she was so calm about, it was almost intimidating for me going through with asking her.
I don't know, maybe she was just as nervous as me. Though she was so calm about, it was almost intimidating for me going through with asking her.
Well I suggest asking her to dinner. Coffee seems professional and happy hours are somewhat professional and personal.
You like her so I suggest dinner or happy hour over coffee. Keep coffee for during the day, go out to a nearby coffee house for a quick drive, drink and break.
I'd say she is only about 30-40 percent interested. She left you an open, but a fairly weak one. If I were her, and I were interested in going out with you I'd make a firmer set of plans than just 'in the future' - something like... "well, I can't today but I'm not doing anything tomorrow night - do you want to go out then?"
If I drop the weak open on someone, I'm either only vaguely interested, or not interested and just trying to find a nice way to get out of it without looking like a bitch, in case I might be interested later.
Maybe that's the case, maybe not - but you can't go wrong with the dinner invitation. That is a clear sign of interest, and if she gives you an excuse you'll know that she isn't really interested in going out with you.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
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