Should i end this relationship?
My girlfriend is a christian and i am an atheist. She is from Malaysia and i am a Chinese. We have been in love for about one year. The main reason i feel frustrated in our relationship is that she is a devout christian and always talking about God in our conversations, which really makes me annoyed. It is not that i don't respect her religion, the thing is she is even trying to convert me into becoming a christian saying she needs a soul mate and someone who has the same purpose with her.
In my family, my parents worship Buddhism God only. We hold joss-stick to worship our Buddhism God while christian don't. It will be an enormous conflict between Christianity and Buddhism.
I've been suffering in this relationship. any advice?
What do you think about those things she talked about? Belief is a serious issue, it seems only about spiritual life, but in fact it is in everywhere in our lives. it effects our decisions, opinions....it is good that you sort out the religion issue first.
A devout Christian will always talk about God, you cannot change that, basically God is in our lives each day, we should talk with God each day and God talks to us often, like our father. It is exciting that soulmate can love and obey same God
My father kinda believe in budda sometimes especially when he didn't know about Jesus, but he said he admires my Christian God the most and often talks about my God
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--Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage)
--Rom 12:2 Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. --Love inspires charity, chastity, and purity
Last edited by Lovelybird; 16th June 2008 at 3:41 AM.
What do you think about those things she talked about? Belief is a serious issue, it seems only about spiritual life, but in fact it is in everywhere in our lives. it effects our decisions, opinions....it is good that you sort out the religion issue first.
A devout Christian will always talk about God, you cannot change that, basically God is in our lives each day, we should talk with God each day and God talks to us often, like our father. It is exciting that soulmate can love and obey same God
My father kinda believe in budda sometimes especially when he didn't know about Jesus, but he said he admires my Christian God the most and often talks about my God
Yes, i am a Chinese guy. surprised?
well, She talks everything that she reads in the Bible and beheaves exactly what the Bible tells her to do. Like we are created by God, which seems to me unacceptable because i believe we develop or arise through evolutionary processes. The Bible is old but people are developing.
We are just very different people. We find it hard for us to compromise on this. Anyway, thanks for your replay.
I would personally advise against taking this relationship any further. For context, I am married to a Christian and am a (non practising) Buddhist. We make it work because neither of us are particularly religious and we don't place restrictions or expectations on each other. I would never want her to stop going to church, nor would I try to make her come to temple, and vice versa.
I'm not seeing this in your situation though: she seems very religious, and very much out to change your beliefs. This is a loud warning sign.
The key to marriage is that both people have to love and accept each other for what they are, not what either thinks they can change the other into.
I would seriously think about this relationship before it went any farther. She is advised by the bible not to marry an unbeliever. The unequally yoked thing. All I see are conflicts arising from you different beliefs, but I am not God. Only he knows what is in store for each of you.
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Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
You still love her and yet the beliefs issue still distresses you. It doesn't get better. Even between two Christians where one is less committed to Christianity than the other.
Relationships involve a lot of give and take and compromise. But, we Christians are taught that somethings aren't up for compromise. This will cause even more friction in what sounds like an already stressed relationship. She may never compromise on her alleged goal of converting you. Could you deal with this indefinitely?
I don't purport to play God or matchmaker, but maybe you should break things off while there is still love and respect between the two of you.
If she were here, I would recommend that she break things off with you from the Christian perspective of not being bound to one that shares her Christian beliefs and level of commitment to them.
Not to be smug or arrogant, but a year really is just a drop in the bucket when it comes to relationships.
Besides, if you are having this many issues as a couple now, imagine when the two families come together!!! In love relationships, its rarely ever just the couple, but their families also. Consider that, too.
__________________ Don't flag me, 'cause I'm honest...
If this continues, you two wont work out. Your options are to bare with it as long as you want, or you can try to talk to her about it. Not in a way of trying to steer her away from her beliefs, but in a way to steer her beliefs away from you. I don't think she'd enjoy hearing about your atheist beliefs, and make her aware of that. Generally, I've never had this issue not be a main reason I broke up with a girl though.
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