[mortensorchid]

Recently I made contact with someone on line. The situation is a little off center. He did not find me on a dating website, he found me on a fan website for a band. The only reason I was interested in talking with him was the fact that he lives very close to me (for a band that is popular in Europe), and I was hoping to make a new friend who is a fellow fan.

We talked on the phone, we were friendly and all. I then asked him, as I was not interested in him romanticly as we were just fan friends, if he had a girlfriend. He told me he and his wife had been seperated for about six months, and he spends his weekends with his three stepkids. He wanted to be upfront with me about it "in case there is chemistry". Then the other day, he wrote me an email asking if I was ignoring him because I hadn't talked to him in a few days. I responded back telling him that I was studying for tests and hadn't talked to anyone.

Then yesterday I sent him a text message saying "Good Morning". Today he wrote me an email telling me that his estranged wife was holding his cell phone when he got that text message and threw a fit that another woman was sending him a text message. He then wrote me an email telling me that he apologized for the situation and things are so bad with his divorce and all.

I am really taken aback by this. I never implied that I was interested in him, but he seems to think otherwise. I also was put off to hear that he was going through a divorce and he had three little kids. Too much baggage. What do I do now? He seems to think something other than anything innocent is going on.

[I am who I am]

I never implied that I was interested in him, but he seems to think otherwise.

Then yesterday I sent him a text message saying "Good Morning"

You give a signal of interest, then wonder why a guy is interested in you?

[Ruby Slippers]

Write back and tell him you never meant to give the impression that you were interested romantically and that you only wanted to be friends. I am pretty naive about this kind of thing, too, but yeah, for almost all men, with any kind of contact like this, without the explicit mention of platonic only, romantic or sexual interest will be assumed. Even if you do specify platonic only, many of them will hold out hope anyway!

[whichwayisup]

He isn't separated, he's married and still living with his wife. If they were separated she wouldn't have access to his cell phone and text messages.

RUN. This guy is not worth it. Even if he IS telling the truth about them separated, she is obviously still in the picture and you don't need the drama.

You DID ask him if he had a girlfriend, so there's a chance he may have thought that you liked him.

[mortensorchid]

He just wrote to me today and said that he was going to take a break from the fan website and said he was going to resolve things with his estranged wife. He told me nothing was my fault. I didn't want to be dragged into the middle of anything. And I didn't want to be involved in this anything, because he seems to be in the middle of some serious drama. I don't want to be the guy's friend either because of this. But I'm glad it was resolved.