well i posted here a few months ago with a problem....since then i met a wonderful young lady whcih made me forget about the issues i had at the time. but now i have another problem. last time people were very helpful and i hope i can get some more feedback this time around.
i met a girl through a mutual friend and we instantly clicked. we were head over heels from day one. we had wonderful chemistry and couldnt go 10 minutes with hearing from one another. this is odd for me because i am 24 and have never had that sort of closeness in a relationship before. since we both had just gotten out of serious relationships we deemed ourselves not ready for anything big yet. that was fine and we continued to date and talk/text constantly. she would tell me she has never met anyone so perfect and she didnt know there were guys out there that could make her so happy. i eventually learned that her previous boyfriends were total creeps who treated her very poorly.
we had a discussion about where we were going because i let her know that u was ready for something serious because she totally knocked me off my feet. She said she felt bad because she wasnt ready yet and thought she was hurting me. its just weird because we were like bf/gf just without the title.
well that was saturday morning. she sent me 1 text that night and i texted her to see what was wrong sunday morning and she insisted that everything was perfectly fine and i had nothing to worry about. well that was the last we spoke. i told her to text me whenever she was free to chat at 10 am and around 8 pm i texted her telling her that i missed hearing from her. got no response....still havent heard from her.
she always gets up early and sends me sweet little messages for me to wake up to and she hasnt done that since saturday morning. i know its only been a few days but since we met we talk constantly throughout the day. i used over 4,000 text messages this month almost all on her. so to go 2 1/2 days without hearing from her def means something is up.
i keep thinking maybe she thought i was too clingy or needy but we discussed thing like that before and she came out and said that she felt like she was the clingy one, not me. she loved the attention and how often we talked because nobody could make her smile the way i did....
but now she is gone. not texts in the morning, no phone calls....then last night i logged onto facebook and saw that i was tagged in 3 pictures she had posted in her album from her birthday party. she tagged me in a few of them and one of her kissing me on the cheek. i found that really odd. like twisting the knife a bit.
any advice? im afriad to call because i reached out sunday night and got no response back and i feel as if ill end up being that guy who just couldnt take a hint and leave the girl alone. and some answers to why would be great to hear from her too.
Sounds like you were no more than a rebound guy. She was really into you at first , but realized she didn't want to get in too deep. She's afraid to be hurt again. It doesn't matter how nice or good you are, she's probably not ready to even try to trust anyone. Just give her space.
i guess i could have been just a rebound guy. maybe im in denial but i dont think thats the case. ive been on both sides of a rebound before and this was much different. she let me into every aspect of her life and i did the same. we had each others backs and we were simply there for one another. i dont think a simple rebound would get that deep. maybe im wrong and like i said maybe im biased because i miss her so much. should i go ahead with no contact? should i call or maybe a simple text? i reached out sunday night and got nothing back so im assuming she knows i wanted to talk to her about what might be going on and she has chosen not to reply. i just dont see how someone can go from head over heels about someone the way she was with me to absolutley nothing....especially in 2 or 3 days.
She was probably keeping up appearances those last days. It's the getting in close that scared her off. SHe probably did have some real feelings for you and that is what made her shutdown. I"m going through almost the exact same thing.
My ex is confused/lost and scared of being hurt. She's doing anything to keep busy to avoid thinking about me and take care of soem personal issues. Just give her space Like I'm trying to do.
You can try a casual hello in a few weeks, but I wouldn't even think of trying to talk about getting back together.
so my chances are probably a big fat zero. even over time? im not sure but those are my feelings. love and emotions are some strange things. its a shame how bad timing could really screw up such a good thing. all i want is for her to be happy, and if it that means not being with me then i can deal with that. ill be sad and probably depressed but id rather deal with those feelings than make her go through pain. ive never fallen for a girl so hard before and it figures that this sort of thing ends up being the downfall of something that had such great potential.
thanks "justpassingthru". that is pretty much my plan for the time being. i dont really have an other options. but as a typical dumpee im afraid that No Contact will lead to us just never speaking again.
any advice? im afriad to call because i reached out sunday night and got no response back and i feel as if ill end up being that guy who just couldnt take a hint and leave the girl alone. and some answers to why would be great to hear from her too.
What you do is go strict NC until SHE CONTACTS YOU. Then you get to ask your questions. You contacted her last, leave it at that. I hate them.
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I don't need a ****ing therapist!
well that looks like my plan for now.
lets just hope she isnt gone for good.
thanks for all the responses. i appreciate the helping hand through such a crappy situation.
i almost caved tonight. i just wanted to text her and ask for an explanation. i held my ground though and didnt do it. its hard when you miss someone so much. but im sure if youre on here you already know that.
i just hope i get something out of this NC thing. either get her to realize that she misses me terribly or it may just get me to move beyond her. i guess only time will tell.
i almost caved tonight. i just wanted to text her and ask for an explanation. i held my ground though and didnt do it. its hard when you miss someone so much. but im sure if youre on here you already know that.
i just hope i get something out of this NC thing. either get her to realize that she misses me terribly or it may just get me to move beyond her. i guess only time will tell.
Time will tell. No sense beating yourself up over what you don't know.. been there done that.. not worth it. Hey.. just hang in there. Try and re direct your thinkng if you can, it helps.
AP
__________________ "If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
we had a discussion about where we were going because i let her know that u was ready for something serious because she totally knocked me off my feet. She said she felt bad because she wasnt ready yet and thought she was hurting me. its just weird because we were like bf/gf just without the title.
Don't call or text for an explanation, cause she already gave it to you.. She's not ready, so she's backing off so you don't get any more attached than you already are. Trust me, I think in time, she'll be yours.. but u HAVE to walk on eggshells for now.
She likes you, but, she's not ready. And although you may not understand why she's not ready... it is what it is...
Back off, and let her figure things out. Once she's had some space to herself, she can decide where she's going with you.
Who knows, her ex may be still trying to get her back, and she's dealing with that. Just give her space... she's not going to forget about you.. you made the last move. She'll be in touch soon, but when she's ready.
Anticipating the worst... Questions about when to go out again, whether he will make a move on me... etc etc... I had a lunch date not to long ago...
The best thing he ever said to me... "Would you mind if I checked up on you now and again.".. I did not feel the pressure and it just made me like him that much more....
i almost caved tonight. i just wanted to text her and ask for an explanation. i held my ground though and didnt do it. its hard when you miss someone so much. but im sure if youre on here you already know that.
i just hope i get something out of this NC thing. either get her to realize that she misses me terribly or it may just get me to move beyond her. i guess only time will tell.
Oh man, the last thing you want to do at this point. You'll come off as clingy, desperate, and maybe even a stalker. Sorry to hear that's it's turning out the way it is, but it does sound like she's scared and confused. Give her time, and give her space. If you were meant to be together, she will realize it in time. In the meantime for you however, I strongly recommend the NC route, and live your life. As you experienced from your last breakup, there are OTHER people out there. You might just find one ready for your love that's just as wonderful or better than this one.
hey vivrantflo that was probably the most insightful thing anyone in here or my friends have told me so far. that put things in perspective and made me not feel like crap anymore lol. eveyone else....you guys have been so helpful. it means a lot to get a flat out response from someone who has done these kinda things in the past and arent simply biased the way some friends might be. i appreciate this help so much
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"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
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