[confuse2000]

He cheated on her twice and got caught both time and she's willing to work things out. Anyone out there have a or some answer as to any why she would stay with a person whom you have chetaed on her with the same person twice in the last two years??? Got caught one year ago and again this year. Been married since 2004 no kind/s. but family has serious health problem.

[2sunny]

people stay for all kinds of reasons.

the truth of the main reason is really only known between the two involved - anything else is just hearsay... or gossip as we refer to it...

[porter218]

There are about a million different reasons someone would stay. He could have lied his way out of it(telling her it didn't go as far as she thought) and it was a huge mistake, he could have even backtracked his way completely out of it making her think it never happened at all, he could have protested his love for her gave her a bs reason for doing it and promised this last time would be the last time. Or he could have even given her a free pass to do it back to him so they could move on and put it behind them. No telling unless you were a fly on the wall when he convinced her to stay. Men will do crazy stuff to keep their girl.

What is your relationship to them?

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by porter218

There are about a million different reasons someone would stay. He could have lied his way out of it(telling her it didn't go as far as she thought) and it was a huge mistake, he could have even backtracked his way completely out of it making her think it never happened at all, he could have protested his love for her gave her a bs reason for doing it and promised this last time would be the last time. Or he could have even given her a free pass to do it back to him so they could move on and put it behind them. No telling unless you were a fly on the wall when he convinced her to stay. Men will do crazy stuff to keep their girl.

What is your relationship to them?

a friend of the ow.

[2sunny]

or it could be like kobe bryant where you just buy really expensive jewelry for her to stay...

what is the position of the OW? is she still involved with the MM?

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by 2sunny

or it could be like kobe bryant where you just buy really expensive jewelry for her to stay...

what is the position of the OW? is she still involved with the MM?

No don't think so. MM is unemployed.

She is hurting but she had NC with him since april.

[porter218]

How did the BW find out? And does she know it was the same OW both times?

[NewSunrise]

Originally Posted by confuse2000

a friend of the ow.

If you are a friend of the OW, why is she's wasting her time with cheater? Is she suffering from low self-esteem that in her mind, he's the only man in town?

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by NewSunrise

If you are a friend of the OW, why is she's wasting her time with cheater? Is she suffering from low self-esteem that in her mind, he's the only man in town?

just bad luck with man's.

[NewSunrise]

Originally Posted by confuse2000

just bad luck with man's.

No such thing as bad luck when it comes to choices. Bad luck is being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Using "bad luck" is another justification of not looking into oneself as to why your friend have chosen to be the OW.

To choose to become the OP has nothing to do with bad luck. It has to do with low self-esteem, usually attributed from how we were brought up, essentially the dynamics of your friend's interpersonal relationship with her parents and family. It's in the family dynamics where you can find reasons why we are the way we are as adults.

Does your friend come from an abusive family? Father controlling? Mother submissive? Either her parents cheated? Type of friends your friend surrounded herserf with? all these factors play a role.

Despite background, was she able to overcome family upbringing obstacles? If not, it can be a difficult process that sometimes require some IC. Some people with similar backgound will take negative upbringing positively, turn their lives completely around and have done well regardles of socio-economic or unfortunate family background. Again, it comes down to choices.

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by porter218

How did the BW find out? And does she know it was the same OW both times?

Yes.. She know's. BTW I am that friend. My friend felt this will help me to understand and let go.

He (MM) n I worked together at the time. She gave him a black eye and came to my work and tried to get my bosses to fire me. Saying he held important job and that I would be easy to replace. Of cause none of that happen. He did end up quitting 8 months later (again for her.) We did continue to see each other even after he quit. Making a long story short she know's both times and still want to give him a chance.

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by NewSunrise

No such thing as bad luck when it comes to choices. Bad luck is being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Using "bad luck" is another justification of not looking into oneself as to why your friend have chosen to be the OW.

To choose to become the OP has nothing to do with bad luck. It has to do with low self-esteem, usually attributed from how we were brought up, essentially the dynamics of your friend's interpersonal relationship with her parents and family. It's in the family dynamics where you can find reasons why we are the way we are as adults.

Does your friend come from an abusive family? Father controlling? Mother submissive? Either her parents cheated? Type of friends your friend surrounded herserf with? all these factors play a role.

Despite background, was she able to overcome family upbringing obstacles? If not, it can be a difficult process that sometimes require some IC. Some people with similar backgound will take negative upbringing positively, turn their lives completely around and have done well regardles of socio-economic or unfortunate family background. Again, it comes down to choices.

I have no excuse as to y. We all say that or this would never happen to me but when it does it does.

[2sunny]

confuse

you seem to be just tossing yourself into the current and letting the water take you where it chooses...

you could take a stand and stick with a decision that would allow you to have some power and self respect.

your post shows you at his mercy and that is concerning to me.

[confuse2000]

Originally Posted by 2sunny

confuse

you seem to be just tossing yourself into the current and letting the water take you where it chooses...

you could take a stand and stick with a decision that would allow you to have some power and self respect.

your post shows you at his mercy and that is concerning to me.

You're right. I am letting the current takes me..

Not at his mercy but at the same time understands his reasons...

[bentnotbroken]

Are you hoping his W will throw him out so you can have him? Why would you want a liar and cheat? Just let me say whatever her reasons are for taking him back, he hasn't chosen to leave her. Therefore you need to walk away, it their relationship has nothing to do with you. And you need to leave them alone and find yourself.