How do I tell him I pregnant?

thewomantoblame · 3rd June 2008, 11:16 AM

My FWB and I talked recently and neither of us wanted a relationship right now. We were bot fine with the arrangement that we had. In fact, I've been out on dates with another guy since then. I just found out I'm pregnant (I haven't been sleeping with the other guy, so it's absolutely the FWB's).

He already has a daughter that lives with him 90% of the time. I'm more nervous about telling him than I am about the baby. Any suggestions? Should I wait a while? Not tell him? I don't want anything or need anything from him, but I know he's crazy about his daughter and I'd like to give him the opportunity to be a dad to our child, too.

tinktronik · 3rd June 2008, 11:17 AM

Tell him right away. Just call say you need to talk and spill it.

blind_otter · 3rd June 2008, 11:17 AM

This is just my opinion, but I would wait until after the first trimester to make sure the pregnancy is viable. After that, tell him.

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 11:21 AM

I think you should tell him.

thewomantoblame · 3rd June 2008, 11:27 AM

Any creative suggestions? I don't want him to pass out. I've known him for 12 years and I'm honestly picturing something like the Friends episode when Rachel told Ross and he didn't move for about 30 minutes. That's best case scenario. I'm scared he's going to be angry with me.

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 11:29 AM

Hey he was 50% to blame for this!

Just say it - Get him around to yours and say "I know we agreed to stay casual and nothing will change but I have to tell you something, I did a positive pregnancy test and it is yours" Then see what he says

He may get angry or he may not, why should you go through this by yourself? You did not concieve by yourself did you?

Good luck whatever you decide hon

thewomantoblame · 3rd June 2008, 11:37 AM

No. He was definitely there for conception. By very nature of us staying casual means that I'll still be going through this alone. He already has a daughter. I really don't expect anything from him for me. I guess I just want to know. I hope he's as good to our baby as he is to his daughter.

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 5:12 PM

Dont expect anything from him and just see what he says babe

I am sure by what you have written that you will be keeping it either way so what do you have to lose?

Enema · 3rd June 2008, 5:30 PM

What was the contraceptive situation? Condoms and they failed? Pills and you missed a few?

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 5:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enema

What was the contraceptive situation? Condoms and they failed? Pills and you missed a few?

That is irrelevant babe, the situation is here and it is real so worrying about contraceptive now is like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted!

Enema · 3rd June 2008, 6:05 PM

I disagree.

She is worried about how he'll react and asking specifically about the best way to tell him.

I think the method of contraception they were (or weren't) using and how it failed is very relevant to how she might tell him.

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 6:08 PM

so you think her saying that she forgot to take the pill or the condom broke or the cap failed will help?

He did not want a relationship so he probably does not want another child but we do not know him so maybe he will like the idea - However she tells him he will either be happy or not!

Enema · 3rd June 2008, 6:16 PM

Yes, it could help her decide how to tell him.

Some possible scenarios:

1) He is comfortable with just pulling out
2) She says not to worry, she'll take care of contraception
3) They never discussed it

All three of these could produce very different reactions from him and I think the info is important.

If anything is irrelevant here, it's whether you agree with me or not.

Lishy · 3rd June 2008, 6:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enema

Yes, it could help her decide how to tell him.

Some possible scenarios:

1) He is comfortable with just pulling out
2) She says not to worry, she'll take care of contraception
3) They never discussed it

All three of these could produce very different reactions from him and I think the info is important.

If anything is irrelevant here, it's whether you agree with me or not.

So if she says that she is pregnant because he didnt pull out in time do you think that will help?

I dont disagree with you I just do not understand how that will help!

tinktronik · 3rd June 2008, 6:27 PM

Today is arguing for arguments sake on LS. Just sit him down and tell him, you will feel better for getting it off your chest and you won't have to worry about how he will respond anymore.