In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Would now be a good time to tell her, "I like you"?
Hey everyone, first off I just want to apologize if this thread is in the wrong section of the forum. And if it is, moderators please feel free to move it where appropriate, thanks!
Okay, now onto the meat of the package...
There's a girl in my class whom I've grown to be rather fond with. We have similar interests, we play around with each other every now and then, and I notice that she's okay with me entering her "personal" space. I think our relationship could grow even stronger if we just gave each other a chance, so we can be more than just friends.
Thing is, I haven't been able to tell her how I feel. There was a time (a couple of days ago, actually) when I was so close to telling her that I like her just because I couldn't contain myself anymore, but a topic came up and she ended up revealing that she already had a "boyfriend". Note the quotation marks because apparently at the time she wasn't sure of the relationship between her and that guy. Because of that, I decided to back off. It's not that I don't have balls to tell her how I feel, it's just that I figured it wouldn't be smart at the time to complicate things. At least, that's what I thought...
So fast forward to today and although she didn't speak to me directly I did overhear her saying that the guy that she was interested in told her that he wasn't ready for a relationship. So technically, she is single, but the relationship between her and that guy is still pending...
You know the phrase, "Three's a crowd"? I'm the third-party. At this moment, I'm not sure if I should go tell her how I feel, or if I should wait for a better time, or if I should just let it all go and be nothing more than a friend to her? I mean, I respect her but I do like her much more than just a friend...
Look man, Im in a similar situation and one of the things I learned is that people tend to jump at the opportunity to tell the girl, but I say to tell her when its just you and her. Seperate yourselves from everyone else and tell her that you understand her situation but you feel for her and that you would like to be with her instead of the a-hole that turned her down.
Ah, sorry for the late reply, but thanks for answering my post.
I have to figure out how to get her to be alone with me... it seems she always has this other guy who's tagging along with her (whom she already admitted to me that he likes her, but she doesn't return the feeling) and when he's not around, our classmates instead are the ones following us. It's like we always have company... not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, but at the moment, it's kind of inconvenient lol.
I think you shouldn't tell a woman how you feel, just hang out, get to know each other, talk and then, at the right time, if you sense that she's really into you, SHOW her how you feel instead. But don't start off by saying "I like you."
__________________ Should have been dead on a Sunday morning bangin' my head, no time for mournin', ain't got no time -- My Own Prison, Creed
Lol awesome, you actually knew what my name meant.
And you brought up a good point... maybe it is better to just show her my feelings rather than actually say it. We're supposed to hang out tomorrow but (unfortunately) once again the "other" people are going to be tagging along with us. I wished I could just say, "Hey guys, it's just between me and her" but then that'd make things look suspicious, and it'd also come off as rather rude. Alas, trying to be with her alone seems to be rather impossible at the moment... but I won't lose hope. Not yet anyway...
Okay, I'm pretty sure we can edit our posts but for some reason I can't seem to find the button, so forgive me for double-posting lol.
But seriously guys, I'm confused about this girl right now. In class (and even outside of class) she seems friendly with me, and in a flirtatious way. But in spite of all that, I keep getting the vibe that she's not really onto me like I had hoped. Just yesterday, she and I were hanging around with a couple of classmates and then she invited a personal friend of hers to tag along. Happened to be a guy friend, of course lol... Saw her kiss him on the cheek when greeting him, didn't think much of it though, but I gotta admit it did shake me up a little inside. Then just when I thought she was onto that guy, I heard her tell him that she has been eye-ing another guy (who happens to be "hot", as she said) at her workplace. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh God, I've already failed".
So if that's truly the case, I guess I should just give up now while I still can, huh? I mean, it's not like I've confessed my feelings to her already so it wouldn't feel like as if I got rejected? Or is she just trying to test me by saying things like this just to see how I would react? Or am I just over-complicating things? If she's not interested in me, why does she have to flirt with me.....
I'm going to give you serious long lasting advice : If you like her DO something ! You better hurry before she puts you in the friendzone and once you enter that....you rarely come out ...
Get her alone and kiss her ! If she looks repulsed , you have your answer. If she looks * surprised * you might have a chance,....if she * smiles * you are in !
Hurry
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"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
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Lol the kissing part, I wish I could do, it's just getting to be alone with her that's the problem. The only times we ever meet is like during class, because she isn't able to come to school at an early time, and right after class I have work. And when we do manage to have some time together, our classmates our ALWAYS hanging out with us. And during the weekend, she works but I don't. It's like, damn, when can we get some time alone? LOL!
I'm sure there are other times that we can get together, I just haven't figured her schedule out yet. I plan on getting her number tomorrow so we can schedule a time.
Lol the kissing part, I wish I could do, it's just getting to be alone with her that's the problem. The only times we ever meet is like during class, because she isn't able to come to school at an early time, and right after class I have work. And when we do manage to have some time together, our classmates our ALWAYS hanging out with us. And during the weekend, she works but I don't. It's like, damn, when can we get some time alone? LOL!
I'm sure there are other times that we can get together, I just haven't figured her schedule out yet. I plan on getting her number tomorrow so we can schedule a time.
Tell her this : " I would like to get your number because I would like to take you out to dinner , just us two . " See how she reacts. Give her time to create something because you do have tight schedules. I would give her 7 days from convo to come up with some kind of way to go out with you. If she can't she is too busy and too busy can signal disinterest...
I'm assuming you are under 20 years old when I say this. I've found that when I'm around girls that like me, they will do and say things like you have mentioned such as saying how they like a certain "guy" or they hug guys around you, kiss on the cheek, or whatever else. From here, they generally see what your reaction is and if you are taken back by it. They do it to find out if you are interested in them too. If she absolutely makes no sign of seeing how it affected you, then you have the right to be kind of worried.
I'm assuming you are under 20 years old when I say this. I've found that when I'm around girls that like me, they will do and say things like you have mentioned such as saying how they like a certain "guy" or they hug guys around you, kiss on the cheek, or whatever else. From here, they generally see what your reaction is and if you are taken back by it. They do it to find out if you are interested in them too. If she absolutely makes no sign of seeing how it affected you, then you have the right to be kind of worried.
Close, I'm actually 22.
But I see your point. I've been reading some stuff and you're right about the "signals". I should definitely be on the cautious side.
@ Mary3: Heh, the kissing part may be way too forward but if anything I did manage to exchange numbers with her recently. (Took a while, I know, but I finally got it.)
You have her number? Well, use it sometime. Just call to say hi, talk about class. :-) See if she wants to get some coffee or something with you after class sometime. Don't sweat it if a few people come and it's a group the first time. If you get along, see if she wants to hang out just the two of you sometime. Then you can get a better idea of her status and how she feels about you.
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The next statement is true.
The previous statement is false.
Hehe yeah, thanks for the tip, I really hope it'll play out like that. One thing I do want to find out first, though, is whether she's really single or has she finally formed that official relationship with this other guy she was interested in. I don't want to end up as nothing more than her "rebound" because I sincerely like this girl... I wonder how I'll be able to ask her relationship status this without looking like a needy person, and without stepping into her friend zone?
I would just say " Hey if you aren't seeing anyone I would sure like to take you out to dinner " She then has the option of telling you she does or she doesn't.
Either way if you get a turn down , she's not interested in you that way. If she is , she will gladly accept.
I say again you really DO need to do something romantic so she understands you are interested in her THAT way. Like hold her hand after dinner , a peck on the cheek, that kind of thing.
We want to know if you are interested because we don't make the first move on a guy like kiss. ( Well not normally , but I have been known to do a surprise quick kiss and then I get a smile and a kiss back
Hehe yeah, thanks for the tip, I really hope it'll play out like that. One thing I do want to find out first, though, is whether she's really single or has she finally formed that official relationship with this other guy she was interested in. I don't want to end up as nothing more than her "rebound" because I sincerely like this girl... I wonder how I'll be able to ask her relationship status this without looking like a needy person, and without stepping into her friend zone?
I think if you want to find out you should just be blunt. "Hey, do you have a boyfriend?" You won't sound needy at all and you should not be in the friend-zone because it's a very general question.
__________________ Finding a chick you want to take to bed is easy. Finding one you want to wake up with is another matter. It may be tougher, but I'll keep looking for the breakfast babe. -JohnnyBlaze
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