My boyfriend just proposed to me this past weekend with a very beautiful ring. I love it, and it looks great on my finger. It is not a diamond, which I hate to admit, but I am disappointed by (it is a very pale green amethyst). It is also a very low-set stone, affecting the band, making it impossible for a wedding band to sit up snugly against it (he did not think about this). He told me that it took him so long to pick out the ring and that he hesitated between several boutiques and several rings, and that he was willing to show me the others to see if I preferred them. I told him I loved the ring, which I do, but he assured me that if there were any problems he could return or exchange it and we could shop together for a new ring (we live in France and I am leaving to go back to the states for two months in just one day). My major issue with the ring is the boutique from which it came. Although the price tag of the ring does not concern me, I have read horrible reviews about the boutique and about the quality of the jewelry there (rings breaking, stones breaking, white gold turning yellow after only 4 months, the guarantee and certificate of authenticity not being valued, etc.). After wearing the ring only two days, and taking special care of it, a part of the white gold band is "nicked" already. A huge part of me wants to take the ring back and shop elsewhere, but I do like the ring, and I especially don't want to hurt his feelings or seem ungrateful. What should I do??
They have bands that have a crescent shape to allow for low set stones. Once they are fused together, it's like a normal set and fits very snug against the engagement ring.
Have him take it to another jeweler for appraisal and to have the craftsmanship verified. If it is really an amythyst, then it will be solid enough for everyday wear. But if they are passing off green glass as a gem, he will find out and take it back. They can also test to see if it is plated or solid gold.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a well made ring and lasting stones. The point is that the ring needs to be able to hold up over the years through daily wear. It is the one piece of jewelry that has to be able to do this.
I just got proposed to over the weekend while we were in NYC. There are no diamonds in my ring; we don't support diamond mining. I picked out the stones and made sure they had a hardness that was good for daily wear. My birthstone is a garnet and is suitable for daily wear. I got the kind that change color in different lighting. It is gorgeous!
You're going to wear that ring for a long, long time. Make sure you like it. Above all else, he wants to see you happy. Be gentle but be honest. He'll understand.
Don't worry ,love is not measured by the rings or gifts he gives just love him a lot and then you know na money cant buy love,ok i can understand your feelings,forgive him and just love him a lot
Don't worry ,love is not measured by the rings or gifts he gives just love him a lot and then you know na money cant buy love,ok i can understand your feelings,forgive him and just love him a lot
This message will be lost on most women. To them, it's all about the dollar.
The man she supposedly loves just asked her to spend the rest of her life with him, and all she can focus on is the ring. Typical.
E..H
Last edited by Event Horizon; 16th June 2008 at 6:03 PM.
This message will be lost on most women. To them, it's all about the dollar.
E..H
Not true.
My fiance proposed to me with a ring he had picked out and to him, it was his offering to me- like a contract. He said that he should have known me well enough to know what I would like, and if he didn't then he shouldn't be proposing yet.
I have no idea how much it cost, and I love it.
Sally4sara: congratulations!!!! Such wonderful news.
To france719: I would definitely get the workmanship etc independently evaluated- you will need to for your insurance anyway, so see what they say and take it from there.
A nick in white gold this early on isn't that unusual- white gold is still quite soft, and needs to be dipped/ plated on a regular basis to maintain its colour as the brightness of white gold fades over time (its a property of the gold)- this in itself can add up cost wise.
My fiance proposed to me with a ring he had picked out and to him, it was his offering to me- like a contract..
Sounds to me like he knows what you like to hear, which I think makes my point.
My advice to OP would be that if you really love him, forget about the ring for now.
About a month before your one year anniversary, tell him lovingly, but firmly, that you expect a new ring.
On the other hand, can't you just LOVE the ring because it's the one HE picked out...and that means something??? Probably not an option if your thoughts about the proposal keep drifting to the ring, again and again.
E..H
Last edited by Event Horizon; 16th June 2008 at 7:07 PM.
The higher the carat of the gold, the softer the metal and the easier to nick. If your ring is 18K or more, be prepared for this type of wear and tear.
Also, your issue with the wedding band is an easy fix. You can have a customized wedding band made to fit snugly to anything. It also won't cost much more than a store bought wedding band if you do your homework.
Quote:
He told me that it took him so long to pick out the ring and that he hesitated between several boutiques and several rings,
This in itself would make me want to treasure the ring. If he's like most men, this would have been an agonizing process between the act of shopping and trying to find something he felt you would love.
If a diamond or better quality ring is so important to you, you can always buy something else later on in life, to wear on another finger.
__________________ Think, think, think... -Winnie the Pooh
I don't see why some people are being so hard on the OP. Isn't durability of a treasured piece of jewelry that you will wear EVERY DAY (lots of wear and tear) a legitimate concern? She already said she loved it, there's no need to convince here to. It's a matter of will the ring wear badly/break in a year or two? Don't you think her fiance would feel terrible if the ring he picked out and she wore lovingly for a few years broke on her? She's doing him a favor by making sure it will last.
I don't see why some people are being so hard on the OP. ..
Only one person was hard on the op, and not that hard.
Personally, I wouldn't care if I had a ring at all.
I didn't like the ring my ex husband gave me- but I wore it because he picked it out- and I was way more excited about being in love than the ring.
I don't know- maybe because I already did it once (marriage), so the process isn't a 'first time' everything should be perfect event.
To me... love is awesome- and a ring is only a ring....a symbol of love- but not a measure of love.
Just me though- I'd rather spend that money on a new TV.
Sounds to me like he knows what you like to hear, which I think makes my point.
Not really- in all honesty I disagreed with him, and it was something he mentioned long before we were serious enough to consider marriage.
I remember having that conversation with him and thinking "Oh sh*t, I guess if he ever proposes, I hope I like it."
And to be perfectly honest, the ring he chose me wouldn't have been my first choice had I had the choice myself. However, being a very indecisive person when face with endless choices, he did me a favour.
And I love it because of that, AND because its so lovely, and because there is a nice little story that goes with the ring and how he bought it etc etc.
Sorry to bust your negative bubble Event Horizon. And for the record, I can't wait to be his wife and to me getting married is about way more than the ring. Haven't turned into bridezilla..!
Not really- in all honesty I disagreed with him, and it was something he mentioned long before we were serious enough to consider marriage.
I remember having that conversation with him and thinking "Oh sh*t, I guess if he ever proposes, I hope I like it."
And to be perfectly honest, the ring he chose me wouldn't have been my first choice had I had the choice myself. However, being a very indecisive person when face with endless choices, he did me a favour.
And I love it because of that, AND because its so lovely, and because there is a nice little story that goes with the ring and how he bought it etc etc.
Sorry to bust your negative bubble Event Horizon. And for the record, I can't wait to be his wife and to me getting married is about way more than the ring. Haven't turned into bridezilla..!
Okay...I'll accept you love him. Yet, you say "I guess if he ever proposes, I hope I like It"
What happened to just hoping he proposes? What the hell did the ring have anything to do with it? Why is a woman's thoughts even on the ring at all. This, to me, is the difference between men and women. Women want to know "what's in it for me" above and beyond love. Not that that isn't a valid concern(finances before marriage), but worrying about what kind of ring you're going to get goes a lot further than concern for your combined financial situation regarding marriage.
Again, I'm glad you're happy and in love...I just think you're helping me make my point to a certain degree.
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...I just think you're helping me make my point to a certain degree. 
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