By even ASKING this question, you're STILL comparing herpes to HIV/AIDS. That's like comparing apples to hammers, and equating people with herpes to terminally sick people.
A disease is an "illness or sickness often characterized by typical patient problems (symptoms) and physical findings (signs)." (from MedicineNet.com)
The flu, by definition, is a disease. Acne is a disease, an illness/condition of the skin. Measles is a disease. Chicken pox is a disease. Pneumonia is a disease. Jock itch is even considered a disease. There are various different ways to come down with these diseases, yet none of them carry a stigma.
Herpes is a disease that just so happens to be more difficult to come down with than the above because it's sexually transmitted (or sometimes just from KISSING!). It's the sex part that adds the stigma. As far as it's symptoms, it's a SKIN CONDITION.
I'm amused that you say this to a civil litigator who actually knows the law. Funny. Maybe this is true in MI, but not in most states.
Herpes is a VIRUS, acne isn't. Comparing the two is very ignorant.
And showing a "skincareguide" as your resource is also pretty pitiful. It's about covering up the surface skin symptoms.. although it is completely different from acne. The "skin condition" is the SYMPTOM of a life-long virus. Also, most of the diseases you happened to mention can be completely killed of by the body and/or antibiotics.
Alcoholism is also considered a disease now of days, yet it is completely different from what you are referencing.
Not a very good argument. Nobody should be made to feel bad about PROTECTING THEIR BODY from something they have a CHOICE to prevent getting.
I know you feel like it's a personal attack on you, but it isn't. If most people have the disease like you say, then it shouldn't be hard finding another guy that has it and could care less.
So if a man you were dating told you he had another incurable STD, you wouldn't care much? You wouldn't mind the potential of two STDs weighing down on your immune system? That's your choice. I have mine.
"Herpes viruses enter the body and hide away in cells, often re-emerging later to cause illnesses such as shingles, genital herpes and cancer. "
I guess I dislike the possibility of developing cancer down the line as well. SORRY!
Last edited by MrsHellnoFire; 27th May 2008 at 2:11 AM.
I also have to add that I take the opinions presented here by those infected with a grain of salt as most of them did not HAVE the choice to decide for themselves.. they did not know their partners were infected.
Oh and are you still with the men or women that gave it to you? If so, then I guess it was worth the risk.
Herpes is a VIRUS, acne isn't. Comparing the two is very ignorant.
And showing a "skincareguide" as your resource is also pretty pitiful. It's about covering up the surface skin symptoms.. although it is completely different from acne. The "skin condition" is the SYMPTOM of a life-long virus. Also, most of the diseases you happened to mention can be completely killed of by the body and/or antibiotics.
Alcoholism is also considered a disease now of days, yet it is completely different from what you are referencing.
Not a very good argument. Nobody should be made to feel bad about PROTECTING THEIR BODY from something they have a CHOICE to prevent getting.
I know you feel like it's a personal attack on you, but it isn't. If most people have the disease like you say, then it shouldn't be hard finding another guy that has it and could care less.
So if a man you were dating told you he had another incurable STD, you wouldn't care much? You wouldn't mind the potential of two STDs weighing down on your immune system? That's your choice. I have mine.
"Herpes viruses enter the body and hide away in cells, often re-emerging later to cause illnesses such as shingles, genital herpes and cancer. "
I guess I dislike the possibility of developing cancer down the line as well. SORRY!
No one said it was wrong to make the choice to not date someone with the virus, however that does not mean that just because someone has the virus they should focus on finding someone with the same virus.
Herpes also doesn't "re-emerge" to be the cause of other illnesses. Yes it lowers your immune system, but that doesn't make it a direct cause of something like cancer. Also after a year your body builds up anti bodies, and your immune system learns to fight it, so it's not as if you spend the rest of your life with all sorts of other illnesses due to herpes. Especially considering cold sores is actually HSV 1.
You don't get cancer from a low immune system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsHellnoFire
I also have to add that I take the opinions presented here by those infected with a grain of salt as most of them did not HAVE the choice to decide for themselves.. they did not know their partners were infected.
Who said all the opinions that are okay with being with someone who has HSV actually have it?
Who said all the opinions that are okay with being with someone who has HSV actually have it?
I'm not sure the poster said that but perhaps inferred it. I didn't take the posting that way. For the record, to reiterate an earlier posting, I'd date a lady with genital HSV and I'm not infected. I've had unprotected sex with only one woman, that being my wife. Disease is part of the complex creatures humans are, and part of acceptance of one and loving one is dealing with such things. It's a choice. Everyone has their own perspective
I'm not sure the poster said that but perhaps inferred it. I didn't take the posting that way. For the record, to reiterate an earlier posting, I'd date a lady with genital HSV and I'm not infected. I've had unprotected sex with only one woman, that being my wife. Disease is part of the complex creatures humans are, and part of acceptance of one and loving one is dealing with such things. It's a choice. Everyone has their own perspective
Yeah... but if I had a choice... I'd pick the woman who was disease free!
So, I suppose if she is the best you can do, I would not fault you for it. But I know that I can do better.
So, if you have the choice between girl #1 who was amazing, beautiful, smart and kind but had herpes and girl #2 who was boring, kind of lame, and uninteresting, you'd like #2 over #1?
So, if you have the choice between girl #1 who was amazing, beautiful, smart and kind but had herpes and girl #2 who was boring, kind of lame, and uninteresting, you'd like #2 over #1?
that's sad.
Those are extreme examples. Not everyone who has herpes is amazing, beautiful, smart and kind, just like not everyone without herpes is boring, kind of lame and uninteresting.
So, if you have the choice between girl #1 who was amazing, beautiful, smart and kind but had herpes and girl #2 who was boring, kind of lame, and uninteresting, you'd like #2 over #1?
that's sad.
Are you implying that all the women who are amazing, beautiful, smart, and kind have herpes? Ummm... not so much.
If your a guy who is a good catch.... you can skip the diseased ones and never miss out.
I know that sounds harsh... but just from watching what my friends go through... the girls with STD's are rarely worth the risk.
Those are extreme examples. Not everyone who has herpes is amazing, beautiful, smart and kind, just like not everyone without herpes is boring, kind of lame and uninteresting.
Most people fall somewhere in between.
Great point! I am boring, kind of lame, and uninteresting... yet, I have all sort of viruses that would make your head spin. In fact, the viruses are threatening to make me interesting. At least to medical researchers, but it's a start.
Great point! I am boring, kind of lame, and uninteresting... yet, I have all sort of viruses that would make your head spin. In fact, the viruses are threatening to make me interesting. At least to medical researchers, but it's a start.
I'm waiting for the writeup about you in the New England Journal of Medicine and GQ. Most eligible and interesting viral vector.
Yeah... but if I had a choice... I'd pick the woman who was disease free!
So, I suppose if she is the best you can do, I would not fault you for it. But I know that I can do better.
I've never seen people as "good", "better", or "best" (or the reverse) and I don't measure my success in life by the people I "collect".
Quote:
I know that sounds harsh... but just from watching what my friends go through... the girls with STD's are rarely worth the risk.
So, if one moves beyond their function as a penile receptacle, their value becomes more perilous and uncertain? If yes, that's certainly a common perspective
pandagirl, I sincerely hope the discourse here does not discourage you and that any reservations you might currently have about your man's interest receive your utmost patience. Look at his overall behaviors as a guide, not any singular action. He'll make mistakes; so will you.
carhill! you are such a sweet and understanding man!
i am not discouraged. everyone is entitled to their opinion and i can only evalutate my situation on the actions of my guy and myself. ironically, the sexual progression of our relation is great; emotionally, not so much.
I've never seen people as "good", "better", or "best" (or the reverse) and I don't measure my success in life by the people I "collect".
It's easier to understand something if you qualify it. So, while you don't particularly see people in terms of good, better, best... you do have some kind of value system for people. It's therefore hypocritical to imply that I am wrong for having one myself!
Do you actually measure your success in life? I just know that I'm happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill
So, if one moves beyond their function as a penile receptacle, their value becomes more perilous and uncertain? If yes, that's certainly a common perspective
If you believe that is how I think... then your wrong. Sex is important to me, however, it's not the top of my list.
The plain fact is that there are enough quality women out there that don't have herpes, that I can automatically rule out the ones that do, and not suffer for it.
The way I see it, most relationships don't work out. If I catch it... I have to deal with it forever, and it WILL cause relationship limitations for me in the future. So, give me 1 solid reason I should take that risk when I don't have to?
Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill
pandagirl, I sincerely hope the discourse here does not discourage you and that any reservations you might currently have about your man's interest receive your utmost patience. Look at his overall behaviors as a guide, not any singular action. He'll make mistakes; so will you.
Good advice!
Look, if you have it. Some guys will care, some wont. Just get it out in the open as soon as appropriate and don't have expectations either way.
It's easier to understand something if you qualify it. So, while you don't particularly see people in terms of good, better, best... you do have some kind of value system for people. It's therefore hypocritical to imply that I am wrong for having one myself!
Do you actually measure your success in life? I just know that I'm happy.
Clever, implying I said something I didn't. I never talked about you at all. It's kinda against the rules here
Yes, I measure my success in life. Happiness is one component. Doing good for the world is another. Compassion and empathy contribute. Avarice and greed detract (amongst other flaws I have).
Since this is a support forum, I try to be supportive. Browbeating someone who is open and honest about something very personal is disingenuous to me. Of course, YMMV.
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I'm waiting for the writeup about you in the New England Journal of Medicine and GQ. Most eligible and interesting viral vector.
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