I just got engaged and the way he tells it, the day he was planning on going to buy the ring, his mother gave him his great grandmother's ring and said that she had wanted him to give it to his future wife.. so he did... here's the thing.. not only is it small (maybe a 1/2 ct...) and round (I wanted princess cut) but its white AND yellow gold.. and I hate yellow gold.. I know he would probably agree to have it fixed to be only white gold, but my biggest issue with this ring is that I feel like its not really mine.. its used.. and I hate that he didn't pick it out!! I want something that came from his heart.. not something that his mom said "here use this". I could live with it being small.. aside from everyones reactions when they see it "oh.. its pretty" instead of "WOW!" that most people get... but I still hate that he didn't have to put thought into it, and that it used to be on someone else's finger..... its driving me to tears when I look at it. I love him with all of my heart and if I know hes going to be upset, I won't tell him... but whenever I look at it I'm going to feel like I got a little bit jipped. What should I do?
How about picking out a killer wedding ring, say three large diamonds, so that after the marriage, you can stop wearing this particular ring ?
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"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all it's pupils." - Louis-Hector Berlioz
He and his family thought enough of you to entrust you with family jewelry and all you can think of is that he didn't run around the city looking for a ring for you that you wouldn't turn your nose up at?
If he picked it out, it still might not be everything you wanted. Maybe the ring from his heart wouldn't look anything like what you envisioned either. And you say it being from his heart is what matters, but you also complain about other people's reaction. Which one is more important - a gift that shows that not only he but his whole family accepts you, or the opinions of others?
At least this diamond isn't contributing to the continuation of the diamond mining problems. Of course that doesn't sound like something that ever bothered you in the first place.
There is no good way out of this, there just isn't. You're stuck with the ring, at least for a while, unless you chose to hurt him and royally piss off and insult his mother.
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the problem with logic is there's too many loopholes
and the problem with truth is that it's usually brutal
I'm not fond of yellow gold either but a ring from someone's great grandmother is so meaningful. How could you piss on this ring for something as meaningless as a princess cut? I would never have this ring reset since it belongs in the family and should be something you pass onto your children. If you still hate it in the next few years, buy a different one.
__________________ Get busy living or get busy dying!
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
wtf. You were the one who asked for an opinion. Just because no-one threw you a pitty party you chuck a little tantrum?
So no, YOU shut up you spoilt little princess.
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Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
I just got engaged and the way he tells it, the day he was planning on going to buy the ring, his mother gave him his great grandmother's ring and said that she had wanted him to give it to his future wife.. so he did... here's the thing.. not only is it small (maybe a 1/2 ct...) and round (I wanted princess cut) but its white AND yellow gold.. and I hate yellow gold.. I know he would probably agree to have it fixed to be only white gold, but my biggest issue with this ring is that I feel like its not really mine.. its used.. and I hate that he didn't pick it out!! I want something that came from his heart.. not something that his mom said "here use this". I could live with it being small.. aside from everyones reactions when they see it "oh.. its pretty" instead of "WOW!" that most people get... but I still hate that he didn't have to put thought into it, and that it used to be on someone else's finger..... its driving me to tears when I look at it. I love him with all of my heart and if I know hes going to be upset, I won't tell him... but whenever I look at it I'm going to feel like I got a little bit jipped. What should I do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacquelyn8685
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
There is not much you can do other than wait to get married then wait till the 1 year anniversary. After 1 year switch over to your desired 3 carat, D clarity, princess cut with 2 1 carat D clarity baguets in a white gold tiffany setting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacquelyn8685
I just got engaged and the way he tells it, the day he was planning on going to buy the ring, his mother gave him his great grandmother's ring and said that she had wanted him to give it to his future wife.. so he did... here's the thing.. not only is it small (maybe a 1/2 ct...) and round (I wanted princess cut) but its white AND yellow gold.. and I hate yellow gold.. I know he would probably agree to have it fixed to be only white gold, but my biggest issue with this ring is that I feel like its not really mine.. its used.. and I hate that he didn't pick it out!! I want something that came from his heart.. not something that his mom said "here use this".
Rings are not cheap, mom's know that, grandma's know that.
White gold contains yellow gold... It is a combination of yellow gold and other metals to make it white. SO you hate white gold too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacquelyn8685
I could live with it being small.. aside from everyones reactions when they see it "oh.. its pretty" instead of "WOW!" that most people get...
There is always a diamond that is bigger, right color (black, rose, yellow?), 12 carat, princess cut?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacquelyn8685
but I still hate that he didn't have to put thought into it, and that it used to be on someone else's finger..... its driving me to tears when I look at it. I love him with all of my heart and if I know hes going to be upset, I won't tell him... but whenever I look at it I'm going to feel like I got a little bit jipped. What should I do?
The someone else's finger was his grandma not another girlfriend.
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
Okay...I'm speaking for myself here... Well I was in a relationship for over 5 years with a guy and we never got engaged. Not because he didn't want to, but I actually (yes im a b%$#&) told him I would not except anything less then perfect. The truth is I wouldn't have!! I wanted that BIG ROCK! We have since split, by my choice.
Well things have changed...I'm engaged (to another man), with no RING! I realised I wanted the Big Ring to make up for what was missing in my relationship with my ex. I'm getting married in Aug and we are getting custom wedding bands (love them, because its one of a kind, and its ours). I'm not bothered that I don't have a ring... I love him just the same ring or no ring. I coundn't even ware it to work anyway if i did have one.
The only time i get a little miffed about not have a ring is when I'm shopping for wedding things and people are looking at my left hand. It seems they don't take me serious because I don't have a ring. Who says you need a ring anyways.(again im speaking for myself, and I wasn't saying that you don't need a ring, I'm saying I don't need one). I just hope your not replacing the ring for love like i was.
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
Honey, may you reap what you sow (and I'm sure you will)
Wow, bride-zilla is a real thing huh? You guys are b-tches!! I've decided on my own, that I'm going to have the yellow gold plated with white, and I'm going to ask him to pick out my wedding band, so that I have something he picked out himself. problem solved.. now SHUT UP you crazy hormonal freaks!
Wow, that's quite the reaction!
Sounds like a spoiled brat on steroids.
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