In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
so I exchanged couple messages with this white woman on dating site.
we talked about what we do and she liked the passion I have towards my job.
I gave her number but she gave me her number to call her.
I called her. I said 'this is xxx' but she didn't get it right away. maybe cuz my name is not common american name. I had to repeat couple times.
she immediately said, she will call me back cuz it's breaking up but I didn't hear from her.
Seems like I talk like borat or some FOB who just started speaking English huh?
I've been in US for 5 years and people say my english is pretty good. I use it everyday too. However, I still have accent though. that's just way it is.
When customers ask something on the phone, it is very true that, if I make some grammar mistake (eg: he do) or don't pronounce right (make them say 'what'), I can actullay feel that their interests disappear.
I don't ****in speak like illegal mexican but since it's not my native language, I make mistakes depending on the situation
When I go to places where I can talk to girls, I try to speak clearly cuz if they need to say 'what', I will be blown out and will be treated like piece of ****.
So tell me how does it affect your judgement towards someone if he carries an accent?
Doesn't affect me at all really. I guess it depends on the girl. If she likes you enough, she will be more patient with getting used to your accent. If she is fishing with several lines, she may find that it is easier to pass on to the next guy.
__________________ No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. --Mary Wollstonecraft
I can tolerate any accent except Indian. I have nothing against them just the accent cos most of the time I don't understand what they are trying to say! I always have to go "I beg your pardon" or "say again?" which sometimes I feel as if I am coming across as ... dumb!
__________________
I'm a live wire, I'm a live wire, I'm a live wire
Gonna set this town on fire
Personally I love a guy with an accent. It's an immediate talking point when you meet someone with an accent!
I can understand people not being able to deal with it, some people have trouble understanding - myself included. I actually had trouble understanding some American accents (and I am English!) when I first came to live here.
Maybe she just doesn't want you to be embarrassed that she has to keep asking you to repeat yourself.
Accent or no accent (some Americans speak worst English than many foreigners), its about patience and tolerance and genuine affection. I have talked to and dated a few women with heavy accents or who spoke broken English, but we got along great.
Should use that as an advantage dude. In fact, should use your mother tongue as well as an advantage and if you see an opportunity to use it, show off .
Certain types of accents are more aesthetically pleasing to different people. The most important aspect is whether you can communicate clearly and effectively. If you can use similar cultural humour and references as your target audience, it should be easier.
__________________ Get busy living or get busy dying!
It depends on what kind of accent to me. Accents that are turn ONS: french, British, Australian, European etc
Turn OFFS : FOB accent, I'm asian myself but have no accent and people who have fobby asian accents turn me off, not to be mean but if I heard someone who talked with a fobby asian accent over the phone (if we met on-line etc) I would hang up the phone.
It depends on what kind of accent to me. Accents that are turn ONS: french, British, Australian, European etc
Turn OFFS : FOB accent, I'm asian myself but have no accent and people who have fobby asian accents turn me off, not to be mean but if I heard someone who talked with a fobby asian accent over the phone (if we met on-line etc) I would hang up the phone.
Agreed on the FOB!
I personally like Canadian, Southern (US accents), Caribbean, European, British, Irish, Australian, New Zealand. Not to much into the Asian or South American accents..
I'm a female with an accent and I find that, for the most part, people don't care as long as they can understand you. However, some people simply feel an amount of mistrust towards you merely for the fact you're a foreigner.
Incidentally, as a professional woman I have done a lot of public speaking. There have been quite a few people over the years who simply could not understand me. My english is very good and so are my diction and public speaking skills. Despite that, some people would stare at me dumbfounded clearly not understanding a word I was saying. I actually don't even think it was my pronunciation throwing them off. They're focusing so much on the fact that you have an accent that they're not paying attention to what you're saying. Most of these people eventually get over it and begin listening. Some never do and you feel stupid every time you have to talk to them.
I've found that the level of understanding a people has of foreign accents goes up exponentially with their level of education. I've never had any trouble being understood by college educated people, who presumably have come in contact with foreigners in the past and possibly traveled themselves, and thus their listening skills are more developed.
Either way, the trick is not to let your accent make you feel stupid. It can be hard when someone is staring at you acting like you're a two year old talking and they begin to patronize you, but you must hold your ground and simply talk slower and hope they catch on. Don't ever apologize for your accent. It's part of who you are! If nothing else, it shows you're an educated person that speaks at least two languages, so if anything, be proud of it.
One last thing, however. Grammar is extremely important. Most people won't care about your accent if they can tell you're educated and can speak properly despite the fact it's not your first language. If your grammar (not your accent!) is what keeps them from being able to understand you, they will look down on you. So, do your best to improve it.
If someone can't appreciate an accent, you don't want to date them. Chances are, they're simple-minded xenophobes who can't stand being around anyone who doesn't fit their mold.
__________________ Should have been dead on a Sunday morning bangin' my head, no time for mournin', ain't got no time -- My Own Prison, Creed
Women with accents turn me on, but then again...so do women without accents.
I very much enjoy the advanced vocabulary of educated Indians, a real pleasure to listen to. (only the ones who can be understood)
__________________ -Gold Pile. An honest man with an honest plan-
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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