I question why she only wants to hang out and sleep over when I have my DD2.
What the ****. She calls me constantly about nonsense. I forgot a pair of clothes in our daughter's bag when I dropped her off today. I forgot a pair of her shoes.
C'mon there is like 10 sets of clothes in there and 6 pairs of shoes. She isn't going to miss that one set of clothes or shoes.
I could probably read into this behavior, if I really wanted to be a cooky nutcase. I don't care. I have a feeling that she's starting to have regrets about living on her own. Not going to even consider it though, I don't want to. Last time, I thought we were improving I was mistaken big time.
If I'm thinking of dating/seeing another woman, how should I address this with my wife who left me? I've brought it up before and she said go for it. However, yesterday, she told me she was having a dream about a genuine me and an ******* me. The ******* me was stealing her money, lying to her, and talking to some girl on the phone.
I'm not sure what the hell is going on at the moment. I know I am getting sick of this crap. At times, I think about why I want to stay with someone who treats me like this. Who plays with my heart and my mind. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Am I wrong?
TIY, you are driving yourself insane! Stop reading into what she does / says. She moved out. You do not need her permission to start dating...I think you should go ahead and do it. If you want her to join in when you have your D, fine. If you don't, that's fine too! Step back and really look at your situation. Things are not as bad as you think. You see your D; you are free from your dysfunctional former wife. Stop all unnecessary contact with her and start living!
Get those legal seperation papers signed befoer you start dating.
As much as it sucks you dont want her coming back and saying you cheated on me, yadda, yadda.
Just hope you know that if you do start dating your wife could not return if you let her know.
What is it you specifically want?
Do you want to move on, are you finally over your wife? Is she over you?
Nomad is kinda right you dont owe her anything, no explanation or nothing. But outta respect she deserves the truth so that way she can make an informed decision on how to proceed. Who knows she could want to finalize the divorce when you tell her you want to date other people?
Just tell her the truth, it shouldnt be a big problem.
I wish it was that easy to step back and see it all with a positive light. Right now, I'm just fighting my emotions of hurt again.
I'm serious this rollercoaster is hell. I don't know what the hell I want. Do I have a choice anymore? I feel like I'm a victim of circumstances. LOL, I know that is so cliche.
Well, who knows what will happen today. Gotta love life, I tell ya.
The question is toss my shambles of a marriage into a garbage can? After all this agonizing over trying to work on it, I find myself hesitating. I'm thinking it might work with another 3-4 months of time. What do you guys think. Should I just be rugged as hell and say eat me and file for divorce? I brought it up and she was like..
"I think we are getting better, but I can't stop you. It's only been one month apart."
I don't know exactly how you feel in a given moment, but from the information you divulge in your posts, I think it's time for you to move on with your life.
It sounds like she's kind of playing games with you because of the lack of boundaries thing that was mentioned before.
I said go straight to divorce because a legal separation costs just as much, but you're still married in the end (or so I've read). The sooner you two get your ducks in a row as far as your daughter is concerned and divorce, the sooner you can start dating again and put your newfound physical fitness to good use.
Like you said, it's been one month of hell. Do you really want that to become two...or three...or four?
I don't know man, my heart is still in it. But you're right. Do I cut my losses or do I ride this rollercoaster to the very end, whether that be reconciliation or divorce?
Thanks for the complement, I usually get a positive response to it, and as a former Marine, it's natural for me to poke fun at the other branches.
I don't remember how old you are, but you're certainly not getting any younger. I wouldn't let this drag out for that reason alone. Especially since your daughter is at an age where she probably won't remember all of this. If you and your wife are in separate homes she'll probably remember it always being that way.
I'm 27, I'll be 28 by June 10th. She set the boundaries, I want to cross them. I'd be game to just go over there right now if she called me. The problem is, she's not going to call me lol.
As far as coming over when I have the daughter, it's like a double edged sword. We share time, bed, talk like we are married and I enjoy the closeness, the feeling like everything is cool while it lasts.
When she leaves and I don't see her for a few days and she doesn't call, then I start to feel like crap.
The only reason I want to just cut her loose is I think that will just force the situation to a close. No more games. No more separation. If she wants me, she will choose me.
I'm just struggling with that whole not wanting me. I guess because at times I feel so close to her again. We hug casually constantly.
For me to be over this, I'd have to be the biggest ******* ever. I'd have to start burning some serious bridges. I'd have to close my heart off and just go through the motions like a divorce robot built for destroying my own heart and all the attachments therein.
Now, do I go out in a blaze of glory or do I ride this ride as long as she is willing to put me through it.
I kind of like to think the pain of this separation is like a crucible. Sure this is hell right now, but if I get through it and prove I'm worthy, it's going to be worth it. That is with my marriage intact or through divorce.
Yeah, I feel and think that inside, but sometimes, just forcing yourself through the intense moments that come and go is the hardest part.
Boundaries are a two way street though. Set some of your own so you don't come off as desperate. That is, if you decide to stick it out. If not, then the focus shifts to childcare boundaries.
The only reason I want to just cut her loose is I think that will just force the situation to a close. No more games. No more separation. If she wants me, she will choose me.
Relationships are not supposed to be like this.. There is a girl out there for you that is dependable, beautiful, will love you no matter, committed to working on a stable, loving, relationship.. and you are wasting your time with this garbage.. WHY?
I have been where you are at, and trust me.. it may take you a few months to get back into the swing of things, but life will be much better than the crap you are dealing with now.
Soon you will reach your cracking point and say enough is enough and begin moving on with your life without her. You have to reach this point, you also have to move on.. get a GF, date, become happy being single again.
I guarantee that your wife will come crawling back someday.. maybe 6 months, maybe a year.. Mine did, I didn't want that screwball anymore. You probably won't want yours either. You are like a woman in an abusive relationship right now.. everyone can tell her to get away from her abuser, but for some reason she stays to get hit some more. Your logic is clouded.
Figure you screwed up and picked the wrong one, got a great kid out of the mix though.. Plenty of gals out there would love to be a stepmom and marry a nice guy with a nice kid. Don't sell yourself short.
Should I just be rugged as hell and say eat me and file for divorce?
That's exactly what you should do. You should take on the attitude that you are worth more than to be manipulated and your emotions toyed with. You deserve a good, normal, loving relationship, to hell with this BS. If someone doesn't want you with all their heart and soul, then why be married to them.
File for divorce - be happy - find someone you can be happy with!
Thanks for the responses. I'm walking hard. WALK HARD. Have you seen that movie? It has gratuitous shots of penis. I was scared at first, but after watching it for a bit, I found myself enjoying it.
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