I'm in Love with Someone Else...Her Sister

collegelife89 · 7th April 2008, 9:38 PM

I feel like it is straight out of a movie. I'm in a 2 year relationship and as time has passed - I've realized that my girlfriend's sister (a good long-time friend of mine who hooked us up), is the girl I truly love. My girlfriend has no idea I'm having doubts about the relationship (she thinks we're getting married) and her sister doesn't know I like her. How do I approach this situation and does it have to end horribly?

Any advice?

Portage · 7th April 2008, 9:43 PM

Nothing good can come from this. I'd suggest moving on.

carhill · 7th April 2008, 9:46 PM

1. Are you engaged? If yes, get PMC. Discuss your concerns there. If not engaged, consider counseling anyway, if you have any love for your GF at all. Something tells me you'd likely make a mess of telling her this stuff outside of counseling. You might consider IC to get your feelings out completely in a safe environment. You might find reality different than what you're feeling now.

2. Do not mention your attraction to the sister at this time. No one knows except you and no good will come of a revelation now IMO.

I think you're smart to clarify your feelings but remember that others feelings are in play here too, and you actions/words will affect them. Tread carefully.

allina · 7th April 2008, 9:47 PM

If it was a possibility would you leave your gf to be with her sister?

MoonlightLover · 7th April 2008, 10:01 PM

My god, what a situation...

Right...if you don't want to be with the girl youre with...leave her...tell her you dont love her and leave her. Do NOT tell her you are in love with her sister it WILL crush her even more than it will crush her when you break up with her.

Her sister will NOT i repeat NOT get with you. Trust me, having 2 sisters of my own i know this is not what we do to eachother.

Im sorry for your situation i truly am, but you will not end up with the sister you love...as for the sister you're with the only choice you have is to:

1. Just tell her you no longer love her then leave her.

(Which will hurt her but she'll move on eventually)

2. Tell her you're leaving her and that you're in love with her sister then tell her sister how you feel.

(Which will hurt her even more, make her compare herself to her sibling in a bad way forever and never want to introduce her future bf's to her or be comfortable with them being in the same room....also might damage her and her sisters relationship......and plus you wont end up with her sister because A. It's her sister...there's no way she'll do that to her sister and B. Her sister is TAKEN by your friend who will also be hurt and it will effect your friendship.)

Choice is yours sweetie...im sorry that its a lose lose situation, it's a bloody shame isnt it when you meet someone you love and cant be with them.

Best of Luck xxx

collegelife89 · 7th April 2008, 10:07 PM

Well, it IS serious with my girlfriend and I would never tell her my feelings for her sister. I will most likely end the relationship soon though due to irreconcilable differences.

As far as her sister goes, we're good friends but lately I feel like we've both been having the same thoughts: we'll catch gazes, hanging out more often than usual, etc. On the other hand, she is a smart girl and would not want to hurt her sister.

Counseling is certainly on my to-do list.