[suny27]

When other little girls were dreaming of being doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc........I was dreaming of being a wife and mother. I dated my high school sweetheart for 7 years and when things didn't workout I was devastated. It seemed as if my life plans had been derailed. Well fast forward 3 yrs and I have been dating a guy I met on myspace for about a year. I posted before about him wanting to take it slow (still no commitment). I Love him. He has 4 children and told me a couple of times he didn't want anymore children . When I told him I was upset by this he said if i really wanted a child he would think about it in a couple of years if we were still together. So the more I think about it we are just @ different stages in life and he was just saying that having a child was an option to keep me around . Well I am almost 26 now and had hoped to be married with @ least 1 child by now so being in this Quasi relationship, FWB thing just can not work for me anymore no matter how much it hurts .

I have this male friend. We have been very good friends since middle school. He really is a great guy. He has always been there for me. He asked me to marry him a couple of months ago. I kinda laughed it off thinking he was joking. Well yesterday I was talking to him about how I feel about still not having children..........yada, yada, yada.....and he started to tell me how much he has always loved me and he was serious about wanting to marry me. I told him I would think about it. He has one child. He is a great father and wants more children. He would be a great husband. We know each other so well but............I don't find him all that physically attractive I mean he is not the dog face boy or anything. He is just not the type of guy I usually date. He would like to wait until after marriage to be intimate because of past (unplanned pregnancy) and that bothers me.

I am actually considering my friends offer. I think we are pretty compatible. He has almost all of the qualities I want in a husband except the physical thing. Do you think that can come later? I guess I just wish I had that kinda sexual connection I have with the guy from myspace. What do you think?

[BentSpine]

Don't go there!

If you don't want to jump your partner's bones, you will sooner or later avoid having sex with him. And then either of you will cheat.
But long before he cheats, the kids will sense that your relationship isn't good. And when the kids have grown up they will repeat your pattern.

On second thoughts, if he suggested no sex before marriage, then I wonder if he has a low sexual drive. There are contraceptives, after all.

However, If YOU have sexual drive, then that wouldn't be extinguished, only redirected to men you meet who happen to excite you.

[Enema]

I think you're letting the desire to get married and have kids over-rule your rational thought.

[catclawtub]

There is no rush to get married. You aren't running out of time. Marriage is a life-long commitment and it should be taken seriously, especially if there are children already involved.