Why Are You Single?
Lyra Pappin
http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Wh...abc&date=False
Are you imagining your love life instead of doing something about it?
Everyone needs to collectively relax. Dating shouldn’t be such a big deal. I can imagine people jumping all over me saying it’s easier said than done, but why? Why can’t we try to put things in perspective sometimes?
Relationships, dating, single life – it all needs some kind of makeover. Or a make-under. Everyone is way too uptight about it. And way too intense.
Dream Date
Every new person you meet isn’t a potential soulmate. Let’s get that out of the way. I have friends that have a witty exchange at a party, or hell, at a Starbucks, and think love is in the air.
How about taking it down a notch and not pinning all potential hopes for everlasting love and singular happiness on this person and simply ask them out?
The singles community seems flooded with people who aren’t content being single, but aren’t willing to do anything to change it. If you are single and you meet someone you might like, do something about it.
I suppose it sounds scary to ask out a total stranger, and maybe it isn’t always appropriate, but neither is obsessing about a romantic possibility with someone you don’t even know. It wouldn’t be so intimidating to ask someone out if you didn’t view them as the sudden be all and end all of your euphoric existence.
I can’t say that I was the boldest single girl ever, but even when I met Henry, I sucked it up and asked him for contact information. It wasn’t the best experience of my life, but still. Generally, people aren’t offended when someone expresses a remote trace of interest in them. Also, like they say, what’s the worst that can happen? If they say no, whatever. Move on.
Yes or No
That’s what these perma-singles don’t seem to want to give up. I don’t even think it’s that asking someone out is so intimidating; it’s what happens after interest is expressed. If the person says yes, you have to confront the reality that you don’t really know this person, he or she may not be so perfect and you might not like them at all. Then you are back to square one.
If it turns out that things go well, then great! What’s the problem?
The other side of asking someone out is the perennial fear of rejection. Why can’t we get over this? Because we build these strangers up to be something they aren’t. Forget about it. How hard should it be to get over a random guy or girl saying no to you? Maybe he or she is just a jerk. Maybe they just broke up with someone, or have a Star Wars bed set, and who cares anyway? Shockingly, there are more people in the world.
Mind Traps
Some single people get into the trap of preferring imagined relationships to the ones they could have in real life. If you ask out your crush and he says no, it’s not him, the real person, you have to get over, it’s him, the idealized perfect man, you are suddenly crushed by.
So many people write to me asking how to get someone to like them, or how to get their attention, or why they are single. The answer is the same for all: just do it. Yes, thank you Nike slogan. Originally, Nike was the goddess of victory, doesn’t that tell you something?
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I wasn't sure which section to put this in, it could be better in Dating, but the self-improvement one seemed appropriate. Plus this section needs some more upbeat content (no offence to anyone here of course). I posted this because it highlights an area I've always had trouble with - approaching strangers. I've rarely had the guts to do it. But really, it's as simple as walking up to an attractive stranger and saying something like "I noticed you over here and thought I'd say hi". No excuses, no lame lines, just an unapologetic approach. Easy! Of course I always find some way to psych myself out.
. Once i learn how to love myself, watch out market :P
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