[1986UK]

Hello.

I would like any advice that is out there about my situation.
i'll keep it short lol

I'm in my 20's and my b/f is in his late 30's. I'm currently 6months pregnant with both our 1st baby.
We've been together for 5yrs, lived together for about 3yrs now.
I think its time that we went that one step further.
He's been married before (i haven't)
He's known from the stat that i wanted marriage and kids so its nothing new.

all i get is "someday" now am wondering when that "someday" will be or if it will never come.

I feel like im not "good enough" to marry

i am unsure about how to bring this topic up in conversation, i dont want it to seem like am pushing the issue and making him do what he doesnt want to

Thank You for taking the time to read/reply to this.

[chica_de_londres]

I would tell him honestly how you feel.

I know it's difficult, since I'm in a similar situation and I am not a huge fan of being the one who had to introduce the topic, but I got tired of waiting around. My bf actually gave me some good reasons as to why we should wait. In my case, that conversation cleared the air and even though I still bring up the subject of marriage every now and then, I have a lot more understanding for his position now.
I'm still happy to wait and although I went through a period of feeling like I wasn't good enough to marry as well, I didn't let it affect our life as a couple. If your bf is otherwise loving and committed, there is no reason to be concerned that you're not good enough. To my surprise, sometimes commitment and marriage don't necessarily go hand in hand. Ask him about his feelings.

Good luck, I really feel for you!

[lovestruck818]

You are young! What's the rush? If you enjoy being with him, that's all that should matter.

I have found men want to be assured both partners are in a secure financial state. Plus, he's a bit older than you.

I have a friend who is 25 and her boyf is 29. Her boyf just went back to school to get his MBA so he is not working right now and she is wroking but her job is very unstable...so they do not have any sort of stable income coming in at all. They have been together 3 years already and she, like you, is wondering when it is going to happen. In her case, i think her boyfriend just wants to know both of them have a stable income coming in. Marriage is expensive and it is a lot of work. Many couples break up or divorce b/c of finances.

I'm not sure if you are working or what you do, or even if my friend's situation relates to yours in anyway...just simply throwing out there what i know.

Good luck!

[Elyssa]

Originally Posted by lovestruck818

You are young! What's the rush? If you enjoy being with him, that's all that should matter.

I have found men want to be assured both partners are in a secure financial state. Plus, he's a bit older than you.

I have a friend who is 25 and her boyf is 29. Her boyf just went back to school to get his MBA so he is not working right now and she is wroking but her job is very unstable...so they do not have any sort of stable income coming in at all. They have been together 3 years already and she, like you, is wondering when it is going to happen. In her case, i think her boyfriend just wants to know both of them have a stable income coming in. Marriage is expensive and it is a lot of work. Many couples break up or divorce b/c of finances.

I'm not sure if you are working or what you do, or even if my friend's situation relates to yours in anyway...just simply throwing out there what i know.

Good luck!

Your friend's situation is nothing like this poster's.

She is pregnant with his baby and they have been together FIVE years. He is getting the benefits of a wife without giving HER (and eventually the child) any of the legal benefits of a marriage. He should have proposed already, but given the situation, I don't think he's going to. He has no reason to, because he's already got everything he could possibly get from her, so why take the plunge and marry her?

OP, I would suggest you talk to him and let him know this is important to you. You are pregnant with his baby, and after five years, there's absolutely no excuse that would make this acceptable.

-E