Well I just had another tough breakup (we've broken up and got back together a few times) with my gf. Mostly initiated on her part. The whole thing has left me with a bitter taste about hardcore faiths.
I consider myself an "Agnostic Atheist", and she is a baptized JW. When we got together 4 years ago (just after be baptism) we fell for each other very hard. As a result of being with me, she left a lot of her friends. While still staying in her faith, she has definitely done some things they couldn't' be happy about. I made the mistake when we first got together, of checking into her faith, I had never been raised in religion, and had a rather neutral outlook on everything. I can look at each religion with no bias. But learning about this, I was scared off quite quickly. We stayed together, I didnt' attempt to push her out of it, and she didn't' attempt to bring me into it.
She was raised in it, and as such was taught she was different from a young age. Kids has Christmas ,she didn't, she was isolated in school, unable to socialize with other "worldly" children. Her parents (who were both JW at the time of her both, slowly broke apart, the Dad leaving as a JW). She was definitely severely sheltered by her Mom, who is still a JW (where as her sister and Dad aren't). As our relationship continued, she was torn between me and her religion, and I could tell. But again, no one in the church really knew about me. She just srot of stopped hanging out with her friends. She confided it me a lot, she never really had a friend she could really talk to about all that she was going through (a lot of family issues), even her JW friends. What I saw was a girl torn emotionally. She just wanted a happy family and upbringing, but it was tense because of this religious difference. She told me things she had never told anyone else, and I could see that inside there, there was doubt (even if she never directly said it). I think she's too scared to leave, as her Mom has now become very dependent on her. She's got the burden of trying to keep her entire family together, and it's taken a huge toll on her emotionally.
I just hate seeing what this religion has done to her. Again this is a very oppressive and controlling religion. It cant' be compared to other mainstream religions where there isn't so much control and social isolation. She is quite depressed in her life right now, struggling to find herself and what she wants. I know she has this idea that a JW Husband, and a JW baby will just make her happy in life. but I know this is just masking the issue she needs to face. While this may sound harsh, I know she would be happier as a non JW, I just don't think she knows it. Again, I think the fear of leaving and the unknown is what keeps her there. Blindly following a faith because she is too scared face the rest of the world.
Ultimately she chose her religion, but I have always told her that she can come talk to me about anything. While it has hurt me immensely to lose her, it has left me with a sour taste in my mouth regarding faith as controlling as this. Faith has ruined so much of her life. Again, im more referring to this particular faith, than faith in general, so others please don't' take this as an assault on your religion.
One thing I can say im grateful for is that bieng with her allowed me to really find where I sit as far as faith is concerned. Im don't discount anything. I believe what I see, hear, feel touch. I try to look at the entire picture. Thousands of years ago, you were nuts if you didn't' believe that the Chariot Sun God rose up to the sky every morning with the sun and give the world light. Again, what we know as a people is just a current snapshot in time. Science to me anyway, continues to prove things to me far better than religion does.
We used to have discussion on it sometimes, and I tried not to press to hard concerning my views, as it made her upset. I didn't' want to be responsible for her feeling like I pulled her out of it. IF she did decide to do that, I wanted it to be on her own accord. I still care greatly for her, and had it not been for this barrier between us, we both agreed we could have spent a lifetime together. Had we continued further (ie kids marriage etc) could have mirrored the exact upbringing she had, something neither of us wanted.
I just needed to rant about this, as it has always bothered me. It's frustrating to lose someone you love and care about so much over this. I think she has a tough road ahead of her, and I've promised she can always come talk to me about family problems or religious problem (as I could tell she doubted it sometimes).
Hope I didn't offend anyone
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