[BoooredGuy]

Hey everyone,

I found this site while doing some searches online and thought that maybe I can get some feedback. Basically, I don't have any genuine interest in any girl that I have met in a long time, and it bugs me. I don't think it's healthy, or maybe I have something going on.

Some background about me. Growing up I've always had an easy time with girls. In high school I was pretty boorish with girls. Lot's of stupid stuff like breaking up with one girl for another, lots of hook ups and flings, etc. I dated lots of girls in those 4 years. I had two 1 year long relationships back in high school. One ended badly and we didn't talk until bumping into one another recently (she still held a grudge), and the other one really tore me up as I fell for her, but we ended on good terms and were friendly afterwords.

College was much of the same of high school. I had lots of hookups and flings, dated plenty, and had one relationship that really turned sour after graduating college. I'll spare all the details but I was majorly hurt by her as she really screwed me over in a few ways.

So I got over her in time, started to hit the scene again, hooking up with girls, getting numbers, dating, etc. Well, after doing it for a while it got old for me as I really wanted to get a connection with someone, but it didn't happen. So I decided to focus on my career and am taking classes part time at night as well.

So here I am today. I still meet a lot of girls through work (I travel and meet with many clients), school, friends of friends, etc., but nobody that really grabs me. Some girls will flirt, ask for my number, etc., and I'll go through the motions, but I don't really care. Many older women ask if I am married now, and get surprised when I say that I am not. Some girls my age ask if I am gay once I tell them that I don't have a girlfriend. I have an old high school friend who tells me I am being selfish, and that's why I am single. My boss thinks that I have secret wife. I can go on and on with some of the comments that I get.

So what's my deal here? I *think* that it's because I have sowed my oats since high school up until now (quite a few years of many different girls), and I have dated plenty so I know what I am looking for, but I just haven't found the right person? Or maybe I have some insane standards? I don't think that I do. I mean, I have good standards in what I would want out of someone, but nothing ridiculous.

So I don't know. I'm in my mid 20s, and everything is lining up for me with work, finances, property, education, health and working out, etc., but for once I can say that I am in a major rut with girls as none that I have met for a while have caught my attention. I used to rarely be single - if not involved with someone, then almost always dating someone and having fun just partying and hooking up. Now it's been ~2 years and nothing. I've met and got to know people in the past 2 years, but nothing that I wanted to pursue. It's weird! Like I can see a girl, think 'damn she's hot' and then keep walking as if I never even saw her. I used to run up next to a girl like that and start talking with her.

I think I'm normal here, but just kind of bummed thinking about it. It seems like everything in my life is going great, but whenever anyone asks about my significant other or girlfriend or whatever, I've just had nothing to say for the past 2 years.

Any thoughts? Anyone been through something similar?

[Covonia]

Celibacy? Asexuality? I think it's one or the other.

[BoooredGuy]

Haha, thanks. At least you were able to narrow it down for me. This all started to happen for me like 2 years ago, and slowly, it's lead to where I find myself today. Is asexuality a choice?

[Lovegod]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, I applaud you for being too picky to be bothered with just *ANY* woman. There's a lot of lousy women out there, and you don't seem to want a relationship anyway. Everyone else seems to need a woman in their life and that's why they seem to think there's something wrong with you.

The difference is you KNOW you don't need a woman in your life to make you happy and complete. If and when you find a good woman to spend time with, you'll go for it. Until then, enjoy your free time, pursue your goals, and have fun!

[BoooredGuy]

Thanks, I figured that if this is my biggest problem in life right now that I am fairly sane. Hmm. I am picky, and I think that's because I know what I want out of someone (for the most part) after dating plenty. I think some of it might be just plain old growing up as well.

Why do you say that I am not really looking for a relationship though? I'm definitely interested to get involved with someone, but I won't get involved with someone just to be involved (i.e., taking any woman). Dating around eventually got old for me, and oddly, I'd rather work, make money, learn new things, etc. than just date around. I used to love chasing after girls so much, but now I'd rather be productive in my life. Damn, I feel like an old dude after re-reading that last line.

[Lovegod]

Sorry, I stand corrected! But still, there's nothing wrong with wanting a quality woman for the long haul.

You sound like you've got your 5hit together, and once you do find that ideal woman, you'll have no problem attracting her and keeping her.

[BoooredGuy]

Sorry, but I thought that maybe I was coming across as someone who doesn't want to be with someone in my post. I do, but, it's like I'm not really looking. I keep my eyes and ears open, but I'm not out hunting persay.

A quality woman, like you mentioned, is what I am interested in. I know that they are out there, but I am busy with everything that is going on in my life and it's not like the world is crawling with them so I guess I haven't met one yet that is available and interested. I work with a few quality gals and I have a few that I am good friends with so I know they are out there. Keep doing what I am doing and patience? Wow, so removed from what I was like when I was younger. I used to always be out hunting. Always meeting new girls. Partying quite a bit. The past two years have been...different. I've been more focused on me and my ambitions and dreams than girls (and partying). It used to be the other way around.