help! this guy i've recently been seeing is such a sweetheart, truly a keeper but i'm afraid i'm going to ruin things with my jealousy!

what can i do to get this under control? he works with several women and talks to them daily on the phone and i hear him sometimes talking to them on his cell phone and he laughs with them but i know it is only business but yet i feel jealousy and very hurt. how can i over come this horrible feeling before i end up jepordizing our relationship b/c he is already put out by it.

[Tony T]

I think sticking cotton in your ears will take care of the problem quite nicely.

[sparkle]

Realize that just because you are crazy about him doesn't mean that all his female friends feel the same way about him. And it doesn't mean that they're all trying to steal him away from you.

Do you have any guy friends besides your boyfriend? If so, don't you just talk and joke around with them without drooling over them? Put yourself in his shoes...

You said "this guy i've recently been seeing", I'm guessing you two have probably been together no more than a couple of months. If you continue feeling insecure or jealous, he will end this relationship is not going to go on much longer.

Don't try to get him to cut off all contact with his female friends. The more you show him that it makes you jealous, he'll probably start resenting you and this relationship, and do it more. Act like it doesn't bother you. Even if it drives you crazy on the inside, don't interrogate him about who he was talking to and why. Most guys I know are so attracted to confident women. The more secure you act about yourself and the less jealous you act, the more he'll probably chase after you.

One of the reasons you're probably dating him is to find out if this is the right guy for you...if it will lead to a long-term relationship. So let him act like himself so you can see how he really is and see if this is the type of guy you like. Don't try to change him.

Most of all, you have to reassure yourself that since he's with YOU, and not the other girls he's friends with, means that he likes YOU, NOT them. Just focus on your relationship with him and pay no mind to other girls.

You're jealous and very hurt because he's talking to them on his phone and laughing with them? Wow... imagine how devastated you'd be if he had lunch with them.

How bout playing the 'what if' game through to the end... what if he's having more fun with them than you? Then he'd probably be dating them. What if they're chasing him? If they are, they are, can't control him or them but you'll find out how he feels about you, that's for sure. What if he leaves you for one of them? Then you're better off without him in the long-run. What if you keep behaving like this? Highly likely he'll leave you for one of them (or someone else). Talk to your fears... through to the end. Get the picture?.