Objective: The Status Trap: How GOOD men can protect themselves from the WRONG women!

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,

 

 

 

On this subject of STATUS...

 

 

A major concern that I, and other men I know have is how well we've developed the ability to discern WHY a particular woman is attracted to us. Sometimes it's physical, other times it's financial, but sometimes when it's something more esoteric like "Status"----it can leave us puzzled. And just like women, we, "also", like to avoid being used.

 

But I have found that STATUS, like "confidence", can be situation and/or environmentally specific.

 

How we perceive OURSELVES is the most important thing, but having said that----In the eyes of other's, our status is often measured against what that particular person in that particular situation may "value".

 

For instance, to a Meth-addict, the drug pusher may be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

 

But to a musician, an award-winning music producer might be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

 

As I'm sure you can see, in the above mentioned scenarios, there CAN be great potential to be "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the supposedly lower status person. But in cases such as when one sports afficionado gravitates towards another sports afficionado, then there seems to be at least "a little" less of a likelihood that one person is being "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the other.

 

Now, I do realize that ANYBODY can be used, ganked, or taken for whatever it is that other's perceive as giving them status, and that NO ONE is totally immune. But what I'm stressing here are the scenarios that either RAISE or LOWER the potential for that happening-----and to point out just how fragile a comfort zone "STATUS" may actually provide us in some cases.

 

We can better protect our "hearts" and our own best interests usually by developing an ability to remain objective in our self-assessments. If we can resist the temptation to believe our own "hype" overly much, we can then focus on opening our awareness to the extent where we can tell the difference between people who want to be around us for "who we ARE" as opposed to just wanting to be around us for "what they may be able to GET from us".

 

I believe that this is what MANY men that I know in "real life" have expressed warnings about------the potential TRAP that men may fall into IF they FAIL to discern just WHY people (certain women---but NOT all) are flocking to them.

 

But AGAIN I say----it's HOW we perceive OURSELVES that is far more important than "just" how we think we're being perceived by others.

 

Men, let us commit to ourselves from this day forward to not only be protective of the GOOD women in our lives, but to ALSO be VERY protect of our own HEARTS.

 

Make SURE that you know why a woman is with you.

 

Because in the end, that knowledge just might spare you a LIFETIME of heartache.

 

 

Peace...one day.

[Quiksilver ca]

very inspiring

 

thank you

[ARDriver01]

That was Awesome.

[sally4sara]

Wouldn't it still boil down to money? I am trying to think of someone with a high status that doesn't have much money. Even a meth dealer has to have money to get the meth.....

Sports star = money

actor = money (if the are successful they have money, if not successful they have no money)

politician = money

musician = money (same as an actor's situation)

 

see what I'm getting at?

[carhill]

Hey, I had status when I knew where a certain male musician was playing next and his female fans wanted to know. Of course, such status is transitory.

 

Perhaps a better example would be roadies boinking female groupies trying to get at 'the man'

 

Having something others want inspires status. Money isn't always a denominator, but often is.

[fishtaco]

Wouldn't it still boil down to money? I am trying to think of someone with a high status that doesn't have much money. Even a meth dealer has to have money to get the meth.....

Sports star = money

actor = money (if the are successful they have money, if not successful they have no money)

politician = money

musician = money (same as an actor's situation)

 

see what I'm getting at?

 

Same thing. The contemporary nobility is measured by money. Money = power = influence. Back in the middle ages, if you had a castle and 20 armed men that goes around chopping people's head off, then you'd be the hot stuff. Might is right. In today's more civilized world, that hasn't changed, except the chopping people's head off part. So money is now the new measurement of might.

[BlueHaiku]

This isn't just a posting for men, but for women too. Men can be golddiggers, for all their complaining about women who are.

 

Since I don't know y'all and never will... I'll fess up. I live in an expensive house, and I own it outright (no mortgage). However, I don't invite men over to my house for a considerable amount of time after meeting them, or even tell them that I own a house. I have never told anyone I date that I own it outright. I tell them my profession, sure, but actually I make more $ than people generally think from my profession, and I don't disclose my actual income, either.

 

I don't lie, mind you. If a guy directly asks me, I'll consider how I feel about telling him. I might tell him some stuff, or deflect with a joke about how he's fishing for info.

 

I'm not guarding my heart like the OP suggests, though. I'm just making sure there is honest interest *before* letting them know certain facts about me.

[D-Lish]

Same thing. The contemporary nobility is measured by money. Money = power = influence. Back in the middle ages, if you had a castle and 20 armed men that goes around chopping people's head off, then you'd be the hot stuff. Might is right. In today's more civilized world, that hasn't changed, except the chopping people's head off part. So money is now the new measurement of might.

 

Hey, in some parts of the world they still do chop people's head's off...

 

The male that lives in the loft below me is a brain surgeon, he's about 34, mildly attractive... but arrogant and cocky, bit of a narcissist.... This guy has a revolving door of women coming in and out of his apartment. You certainly have a point about status/money. I also have to point out that I have yet to meet one of his conquests that possessed a sense of self worth or even a small degree of substance. These women actually sicken me. They know they are being used, they know they are one of many...yet they keep coming back for more.

 

Having said that... I would never in a million years pursue or want anything to do with a guy like this. I know for sure that none of these women would date this guy if he wasn't a doctor with a high earning potential.

 

If you truly want to measure the sincerity and worth of a woman- do so based on how much she respects herself. A confident, independent woman won't pursue a guy for his status... she'll endeavour to enjoy being his equal while maintaining her independence.

 

If someone seeks another with a certain status- they only do so because they aren't secure enough with their own sense of self.

 

If a woman only wants you for your money- you'll see those signs pretty quickly. They'll brag about labels, hint for gifts and they'll throw your status in the faces of others while in public. "This is Jeff, he's a Wall Street Laywer".

[Towelie]

D-Lish, maybe it's not his money as much as he is is 'arrogant, cocky, bit of a narcissist.' In my experience there are plenty of rich guys who can't get a date, but the ones with the attitude you descibe get plenty of women, whatever their financial status.

[AussieJack]

D-Lish, maybe it's not his money as much as he is is 'arrogant, cocky, bit of a narcissist.' In my experience there are plenty of rich guys who can't get a date, but the ones with the attitude you descibe get plenty of women, whatever their financial status.

 

Bingo ! But I do not expect many of the girls on this forum to fess up to this truth.

[BigJ]

.... I also have to point out that I have yet to meet one of his conquests that possessed a sense of self worth or even a small degree of substance. These women actually sicken me. They know they are being used, they know they are one of many...yet they keep coming back for more.

 

Having said that... I would never in a million years pursue or want anything to do with a guy like this. I know for sure that none of these women would date this guy if he wasn't a doctor with a high earning potential.

 

Evalutating yourself honestly, do you believe you are hot and young enough for him to consider dating you if the situation came up? Based on my experience with what women say vs. what it means I'm guessing probably not, but feel free to correct me.

 

 

 

If you truly want to measure the sincerity and worth of a woman- do so based on how much she respects herself. A confident, independent woman won't pursue a guy for his status... she'll endeavour to enjoy being his equal while maintaining her independence.

 

The vast majority of women want to marry up and this is made clear by watching who they date. Most men have a completely different set of criteria and I think both of those are OK since it's probably a result of how we're each wired by our biology.

[DanielMadr]

Bingo ! But I do not expect many of the girls on this forum to fess up to this truth.

 

Once I got pissed and started to act like an arrogant azzhole just for the heck of it. I can tell you I was really over-acting. Im an arrogant piece of azz but not that much as I was doing.

After a while three girls were fighting over me. No kidding. It was like a bad movie. I pointed a finger and winked and a girl was besides me. And another and another. Damn. It made me a little sad - vote rights for women should be revoked.

[BigJ]

- vote rights for women should be revoked.

 

 

Shoulda been done when prohibition was revoked.

[Ebeleptik38]

Yo Troops,

 

 

 

On this subject of STATUS...

 

 

A major concern that I, and other men I know have is how well we've developed the ability to discern WHY a particular woman is attracted to us. Sometimes it's physical, other times it's financial, but sometimes when it's something more esoteric like "Status"----it can leave us puzzled. And just like women, we, "also", like to avoid being used.

 

But I have found that STATUS, like "confidence", can be situation and/or environmentally specific.

 

How we perceive OURSELVES is the most important thing, but having said that----In the eyes of other's, our status is often measured against what that particular person in that particular situation may "value".

 

For instance, to a Meth-addict, the drug pusher may be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

 

But to a musician, an award-winning music producer might be the most "celebrated" person in the room.

 

As I'm sure you can see, in the above mentioned scenarios, there CAN be great potential to be "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the supposedly lower status person. But in cases such as when one sports afficionado gravitates towards another sports afficionado, then there seems to be at least "a little" less of a likelihood that one person is being "targeted" and "taken advantage of" by the other.

 

Now, I do realize that ANYBODY can be used, ganked, or taken for whatever it is that other's perceive as giving them status, and that NO ONE is totally immune. But what I'm stressing here are the scenarios that either RAISE or LOWER the potential for that happening-----and to point out just how fragile a comfort zone "STATUS" may actually provide us in some cases.

 

We can better protect our "hearts" and our own best interests usually by developing an ability to remain objective in our self-assessments. If we can resist the temptation to believe our own "hype" overly much, we can then focus on opening our awareness to the extent where we can tell the difference between people who want to be around us for "who we ARE" as opposed to just wanting to be around us for "what they may be able to GET from us".

 

I believe that this is what MANY men that I know in "real life" have expressed warnings about------the potential TRAP that men may fall into IF they FAIL to discern just WHY people (certain women---but NOT all) are flocking to them.

 

But AGAIN I say----it's HOW we perceive OURSELVES that is far more important than "just" how we think we're being perceived by others.

 

Men, let us commit to ourselves from this day forward to not only be protective of the GOOD women in our lives, but to ALSO be VERY protect of our own HEARTS.

 

Make SURE that you know why a woman is with you.

 

Because in the end, that knowledge just might spare you a LIFETIME of heartache.

 

 

Peace...one day.

 

Wow those are a mouthful of words of wisdom...did you write a book? Anyhow it was nice to read and I took comfort in having read your post Good ****e!