[MIKE2579]

Hello Loveshack,,

I hope everyone is ok. I wanted to give an update. It has been 4 weeks since our split, and her and the new dude seem to be getting along great, so seeing I have to talk to her, because of my daughter, I can't but throw her completely out of my life.

Problem is, I still want us to work things out, but now she tells me that this new guy says he loves her, after 4 weeks, and that she felt that she feels the same. That I needed to move on.

Why don't I believe this? Is it denial or something?

[wonderinwhatsup]

Man, I know its hard but moving on really is the only option. but think of NC with the ex as a great thing. It will make her realize that you are out of her life completely and who knows what might happen to her in the next few months. I've discovered going through a very similar situation that just not talking to the ex has been amazing for my mental health. Just get busy, go workout, do something! When your ex sees how much you're improving she very well may have second thoughts. Good Luck man

[MIKE2579]

How do you NC with a child?

[smoochie]

Originally Posted by MIKE2579

How do you NC with a child?

Its actually quite easy. I have two children and NC is no problem. There is no discussion of us at all. It is simply "when are you coming, calling, they are doing well in school, etc." We do not use our children as an excuse to talk to each other. NC with kids is only a problem when one of the parents wants to still be in the relationship. Look at it like you look at your financial advisor or some other business relationship.

You can never go NC in the conventional sense but you can in your mind. Depending on who has the kid, you can blow your horn when you get there so you don't have to go up to the house. Exchange items without angry altercations by meeting in public places.

You can do it...only if you want to. And you will earn respect by doing that. But I will caution you even if tempted, never allow yourself to use your kids as pawns for attention or anything. It is VERY transparent and causes more problems. On top of that, the ex will begin to lose any respect for you and you don't want that.

[MIKE2579]

I guess you are right Smoochie, I happen to be the one wanting to still be in the relationship.

I guess I need to just get over myself already

[MIKE2579]

OMG sitting here thinking about this stuff, wow, I am feeling really down about it right now

[wonderinwhatsup]

man im with you on feelin bad, misery loves company, but i can tell you that it will get better. its a very slow process, so take it one day at a time. youll be happy that youre not with someone who doesn't want to be with you when you find a new amazing girl. just give it time, things will work out.

[pigeonsid]

Hi Mike- It takes a long time for the brain to process things and accept that it's over. I think it was really only about 3 months later that I finally did come to an acceptance that it was over. Until that point I was still holding out hope that my ex was going to come back to me, that somehow it was all just a dream that would be over soon. But no. I'm moving on with my life, I have accepted that he is past, and you will get there too. Just take it one day at a time, and it does get easier, slowly.