[hummingbird123]

What is worse than being a school teacher and falling in lust with a student? Falling in lust with a student who is UNDERAGE. And whats worse than that? Having him just graduated, so not technically my student anymore. And more than that? He has a huge crush on me too.

Its some kind of diabolical ultimate temptation and Im actually thinking about it night and day. I'm around 30, fem and engaged.
It's just hormones right? My wonderful fiance has been away for a long time now on a business trip and Ill admit, I'm lonely without him.


Ive secretly liked this (very) young man all through the school year, but lately things have been steaming up. Im not his homeroom teacher thank god, and its an elective class so I hardly see him, but I can pick him out at 500 yards. He has matured.. . I usually avoid him if possible, refuse his "showoff" advances that make him the big - man in front of his peers, treat him just like all the others, tell him jokingly that Im sorry, I already have a boyfriend...

The song by Sting.. Dont stand so close to me....

But near graduation, I felt sad that he's leaving. I felt it was ok to not avoid him for a day and just talk with him, purposely visited him in a place I knew he'd be at that time... and then when I talked to him, he looked pale and tired. I asked if he was OK, and he shook his head and mumbled something, then said " I wanna **** you" not loud enough for others to hear. I told him he was very rude and to go away.. then I walked away. But inside, I was buzzing...
WHAT THE HELL!! Say that to a horny woman who has been without sex for way too long and whats to be expected?? Im obsessed.

I researched it...He's under the legal age! I will go to prison/lose my job.

BUT theres more. I actually handed him a love letter scolding him for saying such a terrible thing to me. I wrote that he is a fun boy and I like him, but he must apologize for that. I included my email. clever eh?
I want to cry.

He's very sexy, large and well built, fun, smart, releasing teenage pheremones that are absolutely putting me into a tizz. He's only a KID, but he's bold, and he makes moves on me (acts mr bigstuff when his friends are watching) and once he tried to get in my car when I was leaving school (a dare from his friends?) but I had the willpower to say no. I mean, cant teachers get arrested for giving rides to underage boys without parents permission? Anyway its suspicious. And that would be a too tempting situation for me. I avoided it.

I was strong then.. but after he said that thing.... Im just weak. Now I am actively persuing... desperate to get his contact info since Ill never see him in class again. Wondering where he will most likely hang out and trying to place myself in those locations to "accidentally" bump into him and have a real private conversation about this nonsense... Or is that my hormones trying to trick me into being in a situation alone with him... where they will further weaken me and make me cheat on my wonderful BF.

Am I trying to relive my highschool years over again? Do I seriously have a crush on a boy in school?

Its completely ridiculous but I cant tell my feelings that. My body craves him. Once I thought I should definitely talk to him, not be afraid and try to be honest, but when I talked to him, (alone in the hall for 2 secs) he lost his cool and darted away. Without his peers around he changes from Mr. Cool guy to a trembling puddle of nerves, stumbling over his words, blushing, dropping things, nervous as all hell and its soooooo attractive.

I realize.. I'm every schoolboys dream. The sexy teacher with a slight foreign accent who only comes to school 3 days a week. A lot of the boys have expressed their feelings but I just see them as cute teens. THIS kid, hes just got what I want and I want it.

I hardly think about my fiance.. why? i dont want him in the lusty way I want this boy. These feelings have clouded my vision and taken over my thoughts.

Has anyone else had the same feelings?

After school I specifically went out of the gate that he alwyas goes out, just in case I would meet him. (OMG Im back in highschool) I met his friend. I asked what the boy was doing and heard that he was playing soccer in the school yard. Now if I had turned around and gone BACK INTO the school after leaving, to watch him play soccer, would that make me a stalker?

I spent the rest of the day NOT going back to the school, but instead walking a huge circle clear around it.. on the pretense that I was .. walking off my sexual tension... but really I was wondering my chances of catching his eye from afar, or being able to quietly call him over and have THAT conversation. I went home and spent the rest of the day pouty, moody, and angry. Thats my body punishing me for not giving into its desires.

What should I do? These feelings are driving me insane and they MUST find an outlet either by telling him whats going on, or acting on it, (no no no) or spontaneous human combustion. Absolutely can not tell anyone who knows me. I fell like a pedophile/cheater/ weird person.

I love my honey who is far away!!
Maybe just writing this will help me get the feelings out of me.

Does anyone else have this problem?
How do I get some perspective?
Should I avoid this boy completely?
Or should I approach him and tell him I like him but hes "1/2 my age so its impossible"?
Is this a deeper signal that I have cold feet and dont want to marry my honey of 2 years?
Am I actually some kind of closet pedophile?

[Lyssa]

You should avoid this boy - yup, he's a boy - completely and then seek therapy.

[xpaperxcutx]

No matter how tempted you might be, do not, I repeat, DO NOT get involve with this boy. You're thirty and he's barely legal, you're bound to get caught and tried for statutory rape.

I seriously recommend you see a therapist or a professional about your obsession with this boy. It's not considered socially acceptable to harbor longing for a teenager, and you need to talk to someone about it.

Best you stay away from him.

[blind_otter]

I agree with the others. Mentally - hell, physically - he really is an adolescent. He does not have the capacity to pursue anything with you. His brain isn't even fully developed yet!

[Lizzie60]

Did you just watch 'Notes on a Scandal'

same kind of story...

Does anyone else have this problem? NO

How do I get some perspective? THERAPY

Should I avoid this boy completely? YES

Or should I approach him and tell him I like him but hes "1/2 my age so its impossible"? YES

Is this a deeper signal that I have cold feet and dont want to marry my honey of 2 years? YES

Am I actually some kind of closet pedophile? YES

[Gold Pile]

This is so simple... don't end your career and risk jail. You're horney and BF is away...go find yourself an adult to bang.

If he's acting ths way( "bold" ) he probably has other women at his service.
Or you're sending out a powerful vibe.

[carhill]

OP, talk to your fiance about this. To me, business trips are days to a week. I thought you were going to say he was deployed in the military or something like that. I think you should figure out why you're lonely when he's gone to the point of flirting, innocently or not, with others.

The tone of your post tells me that you may be unconsciously seeking an ego boost and are sending out signals that the boys pick up on. You would do your engagement well to figure that one out. I think you know this is about you and your relationship, not about the boys, right?

I'm a generation older than you, married, and when young girls/ladies flatter me with their attention, I smile and tell them I wish their mothers had been so attentive when I was their age, which is true, as I was a nerd and they weren't. I think of them as I would a daughter. Part of that is maturity and part of it is respect for my relationship. It's human to be "horny" and it's also human to have the self-respect and dignity to do what you know is the right thing. Thanks for being aware

[lovelorcet]

Originally Posted by Lizzie60

Did you just watch 'Notes on a Scandal'

same kind of story...

Does anyone else have this problem? NO

How do I get some perspective? THERAPY

Should I avoid this boy completely? YES

Or should I approach him and tell him I like him but hes "1/2 my age so its impossible"? YES

Is this a deeper signal that I have cold feet and dont want to marry my honey of 2 years? YES

Am I actually some kind of closet pedophile? YES

You can't make it clearer or simpler then Lizzie just did.
Get your head out of your a$$ and seek therapy immediately!

[shanny]

Seriously, guys to lust over are a dime a dozen, especially guys over 18. If you don't see this kid for awhile (meaning absolutly no contact) your feelings for him will go away. If you are every high school guy's dream, you can surely find someone of age who will lust over you just as much. Not that I condone cheating, but if you're gonna do it, make sure you don't do it in a way that you're gonna end up on CNN and in jail.

Think about how much you would be putting at risk just to bang this kid. Your job, your fiance, your LIFE. If you do it you're going to have a lot of time to think about it when you're in jail. You think you're horny now? Wait till you're locked up for 10 years with only women.

[Trialbyfire]

How do I get some perspective?

While I find your entire situation revolting, the best way to get perspective is to do nothing and allow time and distance to make you realize your foolishness. This is a fantasy. Keep it where it belongs. Get help because even as a fantasy, it's disturbing.

Let's pretend that you have a son. Would you want your son getting involved with a 30 year-old predator? Why keep it to around 17 or 18 years old? Why not your ten year-old son?

Does that help to put it into perspective?

[LucreziaBorgia]

What is worse than being a school teacher and falling in lust with a student?

Going to jail and spending a few years there.

1. How do I get some perspective?
2. Should I avoid this boy completely?
3. Or should I approach him and tell him I like him but hes "1/2 my age so its impossible"?
4. Is this a deeper signal that I have cold feet and dont want to marry my honey of 2 years?
5. Am I actually some kind of closet pedophile?

1. Research the internet for other cases like this, and look at how many lives were destroyed from it. Get counseling, ASAP.

2. Yes, for your own good and his. If you want to save your ass before it is too late, talk to your principal and tell him that a student has made advances and that you are uncomfortable with it, and want his/her guidance on how to proceed. If you do not do this, you will be caught up in rumor and by the time the staff hears about it (and they will, trust me) it will be assumed that you hid it and let it go too far, and you will be investigated.

3. No. You are making excuses to talk to him, and it will do nothing but fan the flames and make things worse. To protect yourself legally, you need to not ever speak to him or be alone with him again. Ever.

4. Perhaps, perhaps not. That is entirely beside the point with something as dangerous as you are getting yourself into now.

5. I don't know, but I know you are mixed up - and let me tell you this: you are not so far gone that you can't get your ass out of this sling. You have to tell someone - make it as professional as possible and do not reveal your feelings for this boy. Just let someone know that you have a student who is inappropriate with you, and you want the best help you can getting out of it even it means getting a transfer to a different school. You can save your career, you can save this boy and his family unnecessary humiliation, you can save your fiance from being cuckolded with an underage boy. You can stop things now.

You just have to want to.

Otherwise? You may as well understand that you will end up in jail and will lose everything. Don't think people don't know. Boys talk. Those people talk. Other people pick up on it. Then... you are screwed, if you aren't already.

[theBrokenMuse]

I'm actually shocked that no one else has mentioned this and maybe I am the only one who feels this way but you obviously have some serious issues that a professional needs to assist you with and unless and until you are able to find the root of your dysfunction and fix it, you really shouldn't be working with adolescents.

I know that is probably the last thing you want to hear but I really don't think it appropriate for you to continue on teaching youngsters given your current state of mind and the fact that you've already started pushing boundaries. You have the capacity to inflict a great deal of damage to yourself and others if you don't get help, soon. I really hope you find the courage to seek some.

[Replicant]

Have you not seen or followed the news of what came of those teachers in the US whom slept with underage students??? It's disturubing to think that the very people you are there to teach as your career you are being so callous to throw it all away to start sleeping with them based on a fantasy. It's absolute pedophile, predator behavior at it's lowest level...so if you are willing to throw your life, family and career away for this then your most certainly deserve to be in a correctional facility.

[whichwayisup]

You need to transfer out of the school you're in and get away from that KID.

You're almost a married woman, engaged - So what if you're lonely..Get a dog, spend time with your family, parents, other teachers and friends. Leave the kid alone...He doesn't know any better as I'm sure his hormones are going crazy. You're the adult and someone in a position of power - Stay away from him! If you can't control yourself, get professional help, otherwise you'll lose your job, your future husband and you'll be in every newspaper and on the evening news.

[Arch]

depending on his age you could just get fired or something worse could happen, but I doubt if hes 17 anyone would prosecute you, still not a good idea lol.

You might want to break up with your boyfriend either way, if hes so wonderful then I am sure he doesn't deserve to have his girl friend cheat on him - episodically with a student.