Ok so a little background (will try to keep it short). I live just outside NYC, my b/f lives about 65 miles out. About a month ago I asked his opinion on going to a charity evening tonight, for a cause that raises money to fight the disease his mother dies of - we agreed we should go. I even told him I was splurging for the expensive tickets - which included a 1/4 page add which I made in loving memory of his mother and my friend (who died recently of the same illness).
Little did we know that b/f would get very sick, wait til it was unbearable to go to a doctor (he went tuesday and has been on anti biotics since), etc. So at this point he can hear very little (ear infections) and is very tired.
So he has spent the past 3 days saying he didn't kow if he could come. Today he said he could, but expects me to drive to his house. This is at 1:30 pm, and the charity thing starts at 8. Granted I could swing it, but frankly I don't want to. I am tired, and I don't understand the logic in my driving over an hour to his house, to then drive over an hour to the city, to then drive over an hour back to his house vs. his driving over an hour here, us gong into the city together (roughly half an hour each way), and spending the night here.
He said he would be too tired if he had to drive here. Frankly he could drive here, take a nap and then we could go.
In the end it simply sux to be me. I am the one that shelled out $650 for this evening - and now I'll be going alone, which I hate. Or I can drive to him, get dressed there, drive back up, attend the thing and then drive back to his very late and tired.
Am I being ridiculous? I know he has been sick - but it just seems ridiculous to drive 65 miles out, 65 miles back AND 65 miles back!
UGH I'm so sick and tired of this! When does it ever because equitable?!
He said he would be too tired if he had to drive here. Frankly he could drive here, take a nap and then we could go.
Did you make this suggestion?
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Why can't he stay at your house tonight and you drive him back tomorrow?
I understand being weak for a long time after being sick, so I dont blame him for not wanting to drive. You could however have him drive there then home tomorrow, or you go get him and tomorrow take him home.
I guess this all depends on how much you want him to be there.
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"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option." - Unknown
Take a girlfriend. Our friends who live in the city (UWS mainly) do this all the time when friends "can't make it".
Your BF is sick. He'd probably be miserable anyway and you wouldn't enjoy the evening. If he really wanted to go, he'd pump himself up with meds and suck it up and go. Doesn't sound like he wants it that bad.
Good on ya for supporting a charity you and he believe in. He should be proud of you
I gladly would have taken someone else, had I had enough notice that he wasn't going to be able to come. Unfortunately on Saturday afternoon it is very unlikely that anyone is without plans. I've tried, but come up empty.
I did suggest he come here, take a nap and then we could go. He didn't even respond.
Going there, getting him and staying at my house would only shave about an hour off the driving time for me all day. So instead of 4 hours of driving in 8 hours, it would be 3. I might have been willing to do that with more notice, frankly at this point I'm really angry.
I wouldn't even be upset had he not somehow managed to find the energy to drive 40 minutes each way to a Mason's meeting on Thursday. So for something important to HIM he can find the energy - but not something important to me (theoretically the charity is important to both of us - but I'm the one that spent $650 on the evening).
Bottom line he is not going with me, and I am forced to go alone. Now I am really miffed, and frankly don't want to go to the thing he wants to go to on Monday. (meet up with a high school friend of his who he hasn't seen in 35 years and a jazz concert).
As stated in an earlier post - yup I'm getting resentful. I think we are close to the end. big heavy sigh - makes me so very sad.
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