I had been seeing my MM for three yrs and have tried to "end" the A on several occasions, but we always remained friends which led to us getting back together.
I have tried NC many times too, but that would only make him call/tex/email even more, and since I wasnt strong enough to resist him we would eventually end up back together.
MM always stated that he loved me and would leave his relationship in a minute-if i told him to, but he then slept with other women.
We recently had an arguement which led me to declare that I was ending our A for good, he then tried to contact me but i ignored him. After several calls/emails I told him that I didnt want to hear from him and if he didnt leave me alone i would find his W and tell her everything (thinking this would scare him into backing off) ..... he replied " I love you and ill save you the hassle of trying to find her" at which point he gave me her name, tel number and and their home address!!
I was shocked to say the least but I didnt reply to him after that, and I havent heard from him, although he aslo stated in his email that "I would hear from him again only whan i was ready to" ... what id like is advice on why would he give me that info - was he calling my bluff, does he want her to find out by me doing his dirty work?....
And NO I would neva have called, i deleted the details straight away, and for me this A is definately ova .... but i cant help thinking.........
I don't know why he would do that. However, if you really want to break ties with him for good and move on with your life, it might be best to not be in touch with him again. If you feel he would contact you...then it might be a good idea to change your email or at least block him. Change your phone numbers too, home and cell. It might be a start anyway.
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It seems as if he hasn't got the Ba!!s to do the dirty deed himself, don't give him the easy way out, if he wants his wife to know that badly he will eventually do it himself
Who cares about MM now. If your affair is over, move on and do your best to stay in NC mode. Block his email address. If you call his wife, your life will be filled with more drama and pain.
Thanks everyone for your advice, i was thinking along the same lines as you guys but wanted to hear what people who have been in an A thought.
Our A has been secret so i havent been able to speak to any of my friends about it.
Looking at past threads i seem to be on the right track by keeping up NC. I know it will get easier and i think im over the worst of it, just thought this last stunt he pulled was a classic!!!
Our A has been secret so i havent been able to speak to any of my friends about it
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All the more reason for it to end. To keep a lie, a secret like that hidden from family and friends must be very hard.
Just think, one day you will have a wonderful relationship OUT in the open, and you'll be able to invite him to ALL family and friends gatherings, be able to show him off and include him in EVERY part of your life, not just behind closed doors and secret meetings.
Stay in NC. Do it for you, not for him. Do it because you need to get over him and find yourself again.
All the more reason for it to end. To keep a lie, a secret like that hidden from family and friends must be very hard.
Just think, one day you will have a wonderful relationship OUT in the open, and you'll be able to invite him to ALL family and friends gatherings, be able to show him off and include him in EVERY part of your life, not just behind closed doors and secret meetings.
Stay in NC. Do it for you, not for him. Do it because you need to get over him and find yourself again.
Your sooo right and thats what i intend to do, ive got no problem with NC from my end as i rarely called him during our time together, which was just anothr way he controlled the relationship ......
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