Will marriage counseling make or break my marriage

melbar68 · 13th March 2008, 11:03 PM

Please if there is anyone out there that can tell me what goes on in marriage counseling and why have i been told that it will break my marriage after we discover what we each hate about eacother and how we feeel about eachother

jmargel · 14th March 2008, 9:12 AM

A good marriage counselor won't tell you to break up or stay together. What they do is allow both of you to view each other's needs and wants at a different angle which will allow you two to understand each other better.

Such as, before I went, certain issues I would discuss with my wife would always end up the same way. Her getting defensive and upset and nothing was ever accomplished. With the counselor, the counselor presented it to her in a different way, which allowed her to respond to it in a much better way.

Marriage counselor won't break a marriage. Marriage counseling will teach you both how to communicate to each other better, and a better way to understand each other. You have nothing to fear, if you think this can hurt your marriage more. You can only benefit from marriage counseling. However know that you won't get everything resolved in the first two sessions. Depending on the marriage it could take months.

THEBIGARC · 14th March 2008, 4:58 PM

The W and I went 2 weeks ago and it was very good. I wish we would have went early in the relationship, but by the time we did go the damage was done. It just confirmed all the feelings we both had. We said we would try and a week later she told me it was really over. So, go;however, do not expect it to be a cure. I went back to the MC by myself Thursday and it really helped me. I am planning on back in a month. Good Luck!!

twice_shy · 14th March 2008, 5:03 PM

I have only heard some of the horror stories from people IRL and on the net.

It depends on what kind of therpist you get. I hear alot of times a therapist will put the blame on the betrayed and it almost appeared as if they were trying to get the betrayer off the hook.

I know that isn't probably a majority of the cases, but I could see someone standing up, storming out and going directly to a lawyer after something like that.

I don't know, you may be right. Once a list of what each of you hates about the other comes out, yall might not really be interested in fixing them. Or you might.

I guess it all depends on if you are BOTH willing to fix your shortcomings.