My heart hurts, my soul hurts, my mind won't stop turning.......
The thoughts go from missing MM so badly, to guilt, to wondering how I will ever be able to trust anyone else, to feelings of why do I even deserve anyone else.. and then there is the thought of will i really ever be able to move on before I know for sure if now separated MM will go back home or not??
I am finding it so difficult to move forward from all of this. Just when I think I am getting stronger I get flooded with a day full of emotions.
When I blasted my own A with a MM to smithereens by telling his wife, even though I didn't want him anymore, it still hurt like hell. I obsessed about him for days.
After going through that, as well as my own affairs and the betrayal I was dealt, I can empathize with the thoughts and emotions you're dealing with. Kind of feels like someone dropped a bomb on your sanity doesn't it.
Even though our stories may have some big differences, I suppose we are united in a way in the pain and consequences. It's a shame anyone has to go through it, but it is a powerful learning tool as well.
Yes, it is possible to recover from this... You will find that you can be a hell of a lot stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for.
Affairs are very, very addictive. You're going through the emotional "withdrawl" symptoms right now.
They DO fade, and it does get easier with time and effort on your part.
On the good days, go out and enjoy yourself. On the bad days, do something to change your focus from MM to something else, something POSITIVE in your life. Rely on your support systems (family, friends, etc...) to help you deal with the depression.
Go see a doctor and get treated for that depression if you need to.
And hang in there! People DO recover from this...all the time!
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Wise...no. Been through enough to have learned to value wisdom...certainly!
My heart hurts, my soul hurts, my mind won't stop turning.......
The thoughts go from missing MM so badly, to guilt, to wondering how I will ever be able to trust anyone else, to feelings of why do I even deserve anyone else.. and then there is the thought of will i really ever be able to move on before I know for sure if now separated MM will go back home or not??
I am finding it so difficult to move forward from all of this. Just when I think I am getting stronger I get flooded with a day full of emotions.
Try finding a man that is not committed!! Then you wont have to worry about him going back home. I am not saying that you wont have issues, but they will be of another kind.
I'm still legally married to some loser that left me for OW... so I had no choice when it came to being in this situation because they both put me there AND I MOVED ON, with his kids, money, business, car, LIFE- I HAVE KEPT IT ALL!!! AND SHE INHERITED MY HEADACHES!!!! BETTER HER THAN ME!
AND LIFE IS GREAT!!!
Life is short and you only get to live it once!!! I sat in a dark room crying for years... WHAT A WASTE!
Why waste time waiting for someone that is not even yours???!!!!
Go out, meet people, make friends, distract yourself and stop crying over spilled milk. I wont even say "better said than done". I have gone through hell and back and I was the W- that had her FAMILY at stake and all my years that I invested in my marriage, yet I LIVED AND SO WILL YOU.
GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!
Put some lipstick on and bounce!
I don't know why but listening to sad love songs really helps me in these situations. Especially if they're by some really tragic figure. My personal favorite is The Cure. You just know that man knows heartbreak forwards and backwards, and the way he expresses it through music is beautiful. Somehow, it makes me feel less alone.
I am with you on that one Jess Belle. My ipod is loaded with sad songs that supposedly make me feel "better". Although, it would probably be better for me to listen to nice cheery songs... at this point, those just piss me off!!!
I am with you on that one Jess Belle. My ipod is loaded with sad songs that supposedly make me feel "better". Although, it would probably be better for me to listen to nice cheery songs... at this point, those just piss me off!!!
That's a good outlook to take
If you really want a good "tragic" one though, listen to The Cure - Pictures of You... oh the times I have listened to that over and over, bawling my eyes out! Sometimes you just need to let it out, and that gets it going for me. I don't know why but sometimes when I am deeply sad, I can't bring myself to cry, I just hold it all in. I feel much better after having a nice fulfilling sob-fest
Thanks Jess! I have heard that Cure song you were referring too. I will have to download it tonight. Oh yes.... and I will be sure not to forget the chocolate!!
Thank God for this site. Definitely helps in these very, very weak moments.
NO! You guys need to listen to empowering songs!!! Happy tunes! None come to mind since my i-pod is dead (besides the #1 man bashing song I WILL SURVIVE!! LOL!... but why listen to wrist-slicing songs when you already feeling sad?!??!?!
I know....it kinda sounds backwards, doesn't it?? But like Jess Belle said earlier, sometimes you just have to have a good cry to get your emotions out and feel alittle better. I feel that way sometimes. Often I can have a good cry, then strengthen up and go out w/family or friends and then listen to the empowering songs.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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