Ok I have found out my ex is cutting himself - He actually cut his arm to the bone a few weeks ago and all becuase he bumped into me after 6 months of not setting eyes on me
He also tried to throw himself out of his sister's window (30ft up) - He has taken many overdoses and then calls himself an ambulance. I think he does all of this for attention
Why do people do this?
Why do people cut themselves? I have no clue as I have never even contemplated it and can not see what there is to gain from harming yourself. After he did this he took a picture of his gaping arm and showed it to my MUM! She was mortified, she said it looked like a shark bite!
I am asking this question to anyone who has done this as I am now seeing him a complete fruitcake.
Self injury is one of the primary issues used to diagnose borderline personality disorder. I am loathe to use the word "Fruitcake" unless I am joking about someone. People who self injure are, for the most part, very troubled. They are usually suffering from depression, poor coping mechanisms, sometimes substance abuse is involved, hopelessness. Many people who self-injure suffered abuse as children.
I self-injured a while back (probably about 2 years ago). That is what prompted me to finally commit to therapy and medication treatment. I didn't cut myself - I put cigarettes out on myself. What usually happened is that I would have a flashback, or some other trigger that would make me very emotionally unstable and hysterical. I would injure myself to "shock" myself back into reality because I would, for all intents and purposes, have psychotic breaks from reality from time to time related to my past issues with rape and abuse.
Luckily since receiving treatment I have no self-injured or had any desire to do so.
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I didn't cut in college, but was the queen of one-night stands. And I realized that to a degree I was behaving that way because I was trying to "prove" something to myself while punishing myself for not being a lovely, lissome lass. See, I figured that because I could get guys to sleep with me, I *was* attractive. Otherwise, I was a pretty well-balanced girl with a lot going for me, and when I realized I didn't have to punish myself like that, all the sleeping around for sleeping around's sake stopped.
my guess is that cutting is your ex's way of punishing himself. Why he feels he must do that in order to cope is something best left for a psychologist/psychiatrist to delve into, because they'd be the ones capable of giving him the tools he needs to move past this behavior.
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I call him a fruitcake as he has done so many nasty things to me.
He cant see his son at the moment as he is so unstable and I know he feels guilt as it was all his own doing.
I could cry for my son, he should be able to see his dad and have a great time with him but he cant and I cant help but think that his dad could get himself better if he just stopped drinking and smoking pot.
My ex is a very selfish, self centred man, he thinks only of himself - And BO I could tick most of the things you put as reasons as what he has gone through. I feel bad that he has gone through so much, but my son cant pay the price for his past.
I live in constant fear for my safety as I know deep down he blames me as he finds it so har to accept responsibility for his own actions.
My therapist explained to me that when the body is hurt, it releases endorphins. So whether you exercice (breaking muscle), have sex, over-eat or starve yourself, self-injure or abuse substances, what you are in fact seeking is the release of feel-good chemicals. With all these you get that release, followed by a down. Some, such as exercise and sex and to some extent food can be mobilized to help you out of depressive situation. Others likely will have you stuck in a downward spiral.
it's pretty messed up that he showed it to your mom. maybe it's cry for help? I don't know much about cutting despite having recently done it twice. All I know is that for me, I'm not trying to kill myself or even hurt myself that badly. When I did it I'm conscious of places that are easy to cover up or not doing it badly enough so it will bleed much later. When I did it I felt very panicky and "I hate myself" kept repeating in my head. I think for me its a physical way to express emotional pain, maybe because physical pain you can 'take care of' bandage it, whatever. Emotional pain is much harder to deal with. It also takes my mind off of it, like making a hole in my body feels like literally making an escape route for the emotional pain to leave.
your ex doesn't seem like he wants to die, but he still needs help
Cutting releases endorphins- It makes you feel good, physically and emotionally, same as drugs like ecstasy, and it's mentally addictive in exactly the same way. It's no big mystery why people do it.
Last edited by Obama08; 6th March 2008 at 4:36 PM.
I was a big cutter all through high school. I wouldn't say it was common but I do know of a lot of girls who self-harmed in their teens/early twenties.
It never made me feel "good", but it did bring some relief from whatever negative things I was feeling. I did it primarily because I didn't have the skill set to deal with strong emotions. For example, I'd do it after getting into fights with friends, or getting average exam results (yes, those were my major problems back then!).
I'm in my late twenties now and I still can't handle emotional upheaval, but I deal with it now by setting my life up with as minimal risk of this as possible. As immature as it is, I think the cutting outlet will always be an option for me should things ever go sour.
Cutting releases endorphins- It makes you feel good, physically and emotionally, same as drugs like ecstasy, and it's mentally addictive in exactly the same way. It's no big mystery why people do it.
It didn't ever make me feel good to put cigarettes out on myself. It actually hurt like a mofo. I would have psychotic breaks from reality and the intense pain would "bring me back" to reality.
It also was not addictive in any way. I never craved hurting myself. I never thought about it obsessively. I would always use it as a last resort when I was completely out of touch with reality and hysterical, or in the midst of a long and drawn out rape flashback that I could get out of.
Nothing like ecstasy at all. I should know, I've done over 500 hits in my lifetime.
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