[smoochie]

Hi All,

I was told once "I could become addicted to you in unhealthy ways" from a guy who used to do marjiuana. He says he has been clean for 6 years (not sure about that though), goes to AA and has a sponsor. He said when he broke up with me that he had to get some perspective again or he might relapse. He said he couldn't continue having sex with me. Two days later, he ripped me a new one for asking a few questions and haven't spoken since.

So does anyone here understand what "I could become addicted to you in unhealthy ways" means? I never heard of being addicted to a person before.

[Kamille]

I'm not sure what he means, but I remember watching a documentary about love on the Nature of Things which pretty much said that falling in love induces chemical reactions in us which closely simulate substance addictions (or is it that substance addictions simulate love?)

It could be that the feelings he is developping towards is triggering fear within him.

[Trialbyfire]

He might be referring to a co-dependency. Here's the definition:

http://www.nmha.org/go/codependency

[smoochie]

Thanks for the link but I don't think that's it. I was not his co-dependent. I know he is struggling with potential relapsing...he almost did a few weeks ago before we broke up.

I just want to know if what he said is even possible or exactly what that really means.

[Trialbyfire]

Was he your co-dependent?

[smoochie]

No, not at all. I have never been addicted to anything before. And I do not get anything out of having someone dependent on me. I just don't understand what he meant.

[Kamille]

Originally Posted by smoochie

Hi All,

I was told once "I could become addicted to you in unhealthy ways" from a guy who used to do marjiuana. He says he has been clean for 6 years (not sure about that though), goes to AA and has a sponsor. He said when he broke up with me that he had to get some perspective again or he might relapse. He said he couldn't continue having sex with me. Two days later, he ripped me a new one for asking a few questions and haven't spoken since.

So does anyone here understand what "I could become addicted to you in unhealthy ways" means? I never heard of being addicted to a person before.

Did you see that episode of Sex and City when Carrie dates a recovered alcoolic? The story line basically goes: they meet, have amazing sex, he becomes addicted to her, she dumps him and he relapses into alcohol.

I guess that bit of popular wisdom tells us that maybe he was afraid to get involved further. He was afraid of what would happen if things didn't work out between the two of you - because he was starting to rely on you as a source of happiness.

Sounds to me like he still has work to do on his recovery.