[blind_otter]

Hi carhill...

I've known this woman since I was a child, she now suffers from early onset Alzheimers and has progressed to the point where she cannot speak, feed herself, clean herself, go to the bathroom, or care for herself in any way. SHe mostly lays in bed all day. No one touches her or talks to her. She was recently and briefly admitted to a facility where she could be cared for (her daughter intervened), but her husband (who is really kooky himself, a shut in who hasn't worked for 15 years) took her out of the facility against doctor's orders. he now keeps her in his house.

But the living conditions are, to say the least, horrific. He allows his wife to soil herself and he does not clean her up. She is rarely bathed. The house is filled with clutter and dust and it is just a bad scene. He lets her sleep on a urine soaked mattress and refuses to put his wife in diapers. I worry that the feces that she lays in will cause an infection.

Should I report this to someone? She is also malnourished. Her skin is flaking off, her hair is falling out, and her gums bleed. I have seen this for myself.

I know that the department of children and families has visited the father's house several times and he refuses to answer the door....

I feel helpless. I feel awful. This woman is demented and the situation she lives in is almost abusive. What can I do?

I know that if I reported him, this man would be devestated...but I can't in good conscience let this continue.

[carhill]

Please google "Alzheimer's association" in your local county to find your local chapter. They have resources for referrals to elder care services, adult protective services and medical services for Alzheimer's and dementia patients.

My instinct is that adult protective services, if applicable in your jurisdiction, will have to get involved, due to the husband. There are statutes regarding elder abuse/neglect, again specific to your locale, but social services and/or the AD association can help.

I know, in our situation, I documented as much as I could, as well has taking advice from the sheriff's office about documenting my mom's record so they could take action if a 5150 was called for. They did take note of her living conditions and asked me specific questions regarding her care. Their mandate is to stay out of private business as much as possible if no signs of abuse and/or neglect are present.

As an example, they noted my mom was healthy, articulate (she has VAD, which doesn't affect short-term memory as much), and her house was clean (which she continued to do herself, even after demented). Those were all factors in favor of leaving her care to private concerns (like us and her caregiver). But, in case she was resistant to moving, once it became impossible to care for her at home, those records could help in the legal process to "force" a move, like through 5150.

Google "alzheimers.proboards32" for more information and support.

You have my sincere appreciation and thanks for taking time to be concerned. AD is terminal, but the time the patient has remaining is precious and moments of clarity and recognition happen and should be cherished. My best wishes to your friend