[Haohmaru]

I broke up with her and I feel like I'M the dumpee. Seriously, all the problems now we had I feel like I could get over.

There's so many emotions...I'm up, I'm down, I love her, I'm ok, ... I don't want to talk to anybody who even SAW us together, much less mutual friends...I'm considering not throwing my own ****in birthday party just so I won't have to see these people...

I'm doing better since we split...working hard, more money, but no female companionship, granted...

There was pain while I was with her and pain now that she's gone. Just pain overall. Life is just pain. I can't remember the last time I was happy for more than 10 minutes.

Can anybody ****ing relate or am I all out here on my own?

[SarahT111]

Your not on your own!
I cant relate!

When I was with him I wasn't happy due to all the problems and him treating me like crap. I thought I would be ok without him and was even thinking of breaking it off with him.
He got to it first and said some horrible things then dumped me. Now im without him I hate life even more. Im 100x more misrable and the fact that he never shed a tear or couldn't have cared less really destroyed me. He even had another girl the next day

So why should I care when I wasn't even that happy with him???!!!
I have no idea!
But like you I haven't been happy for agggges!
The last time I was truley happy was with him (at the start of the realtionship) and that was nearly 2 years ago

I miss happiness

[carhill]

There's so many emotions...I'm up, I'm down, I love her, I'm ok, ... I don't want to talk to anybody who even SAW us together, much less mutual friends...I'm considering not throwing my own ****in birthday party just so I won't have to see these people...

I empathize. However, I think that, by being honest with others in your life, you can begin the healing process. Those who care about you will support you. Those who do not will not. It is a great way to find out who you really are meaningful to. You may find that dynamic surprising.

Pain is normal. You're grieving the death of a relationship. It's not any easier because you initiated it. Allow yourself the grief. Celebrate it. Windows to sunshine will appear. Celebrate those too. Eventually, grief will subside and be replaced by acceptance.

Personally, I've found joining LS has been great for my psyche. I've had many good laughs here, along with same with dear friends. My dynamic is different, but the loss is similar.

Hang in!

[Haohmaru]

It's so crazy. Right now I just talked to my friend on the phone for 5 minutes and now I'm fine. I dunno. Another 2 minutes and I'll be not ok again.

Make it stop!

[s_n_d]

Aww.
These things take time..Lots of time..
Itll get better eventually.

Hang in there.
I know how hard it is.
I used to feel the same way. I avoided all contact with my real friends just because I was scared that I would feel more pain when I saw them. The day I met my ex, My bestfriends were there too and all six of us spent the entire day together. So naturally it was hard. I think back and remember all the good times we had together and my good moods quickly turn sour.
The last month of NC has made me a lot stronger as a person. I no longer feel weak and vulnerable.