[monkey00]

Why is it that with certain missed opportunities with the opposite often haunt us the most. I'm still a young guy and know I have more opportunities to meet women and there's more than 1 girl that's right for me...but there's always been 2 or 3 other girls in the back of my head that I think about from time to time. When I think about it I just sigh...

[directx]

Maybe we build fantasies around what could have been?
I used to torture myself about this much too.

I'll make list of names off the top of my head:
Lisa
Marci
Silvana
Debbie
Polish girl in technology/literature class that lent me Naked Lunch
Haush (boy I miss her. Now she was special)
Irish waitress at bar
Mocha colored waitress
Kristie
Kim
Shannon
Christina
Julie

(ugh - depressing)

[amerikajin]

Originally Posted by monkey00

Why is it that with certain missed opportunities with the opposite often haunt us the most. I'm still a young guy and know I have more opportunities to meet women and there's more than 1 girl that's right for me...but there's always been 2 or 3 other girls in the back of my head that I think about from time to time. When I think about it I just sigh...

I think it's normal to think "If only I would have..."

But there's no way to know what would have happened one way or the other. I know that there are some women I probably missed opportunities to be with, but I also know that in some cases, they wouldn't have worked out. In other cases, I was just not ready to date because I was too insecure. I think you keep learning as you move along.

I think what haunts you the most are blown chances with women you're actually dating -- those haunt me a lot more. I know there are probably one or two women I should have settled down with but didn't because I was too self-absorbed to think about settling down. I always wanted more. I didn't really know what I wanted. Those are the missed opportunities that haunt me more.

[LikesMeNot]

It's because our inner body regrets stuff way too easily. I still think of my crushes that I had in elementary school. I regret what I did, and think: "Sh*t, what should I have done? Say? Do?"
That regretal is what drives us to greater limits now. you see, I've learned to let go, and it really works. Go out there and really play in the present, as there's no point in dabbling in the past.
LikesMeNot, Feb. 19. 2008

[solo_flyer]

For me, part of it is knowing that THEY were waiting for me to make a move but I didn't ... knowing that they were disappointed and many also wonder what could have happened, that really gets to me.

[xpaperxcutx]

It's like that saying " you want what you can't have". And sometimes we tend to look back on things we miss and wished we've taken another direction or path, because we're unhappy with our current situation.

[White Flower]

I think it can be looked at in a good way. These thoughts help you to consider how you would have handled things differently and prepare you for the next girl or possibly with the old one if chance brought you together again.

No regrets, only experience and improvement.

[amerikajin]

Originally Posted by White Flower

I think it can be looked at in a good way. These thoughts help you to consider how you would have handled things differently and prepare you for the next girl or possibly with the old one if chance brought you together again.

No regrets, only experience and improvement.

Exactly. There are other opportunities out there, and these "missed" opportunities just allow us to learn from our mistakes so that we don't miss them the next time.