I'm not that experienced when it comes to sex, because I just lost my virginity not too long ago. I think I got the concept of sex down.....it's suppose to feel good as hell, but I don't feel anything. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, I feel something but it doesn't feel good. So much stuff goes through my mind while having sex, and I can't seem to concentrate. I don't get horny, and I never want to have sex.....is something wrong with me. I only had sex about 10 times, and I never had an orgasm before. People say that size doesn't matter, but it read that the wider the penis the more sensation the female gets. Can anyone enlighten me on this situation?
Most women don't orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone, and need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve climax.
Also, it might take you longer to get turned on than your boyfriend. Make out longer, tell him what you want him to do. Do what you guys need to do to get you hot, and then the actual sex part will be more fun.
Have you tried masturbation, to figure out what you like for yourself?
I think the self-discovery will help you be more interested in sex.
Well, I personally feel anal is an acquired taste, but hey, whatever floats yer boat!
but anyways, novagirl, are you on any medications that could be reducing your sex drive? maybe you are not attracted to your partner? are you stressed out or distracted? depressed?
I would keep practicing different things. Try to hang in there, give it some time. Sex will get better with time and practice.
OK firstly your age may have something to do with this - women don't really start getting very horny until their late 20's or early 30's - and from their it just keeps climbing!
Secondly how comfortable are you with your own body and with a man touching it? I was raised in a very religious environment (among other uptight, repressive things) and sex was never discussed. I felt very uncomfortable when I started having sex, and my mind would race all over the place.
It was not until I began to feel more comfortable in my own skin that I was truly able to enjoy sex. My mind slowed down, and I was able to focus only on what was going on - let me tell you, it can be mind blowing.
Getting comfortable starts with relaxing! Which is not going to be easy if 1. you don't love and trust the man you are with 2. you come from an uptight background - while not easy - it is indeed very doable.
Finally the guy you are with just might not quite what he is doing yet, is he as inexperienced as you? Is he young (meaning he might not be able to hold back as long)? Does he really know what to do and how to do it? Or are you two learning together? If so you are going to have to help the guy out!
Of course I am only guessing at root causes here - I may be totally off base. Answer some of the questions, and perhaps I can give better input.
I would caution against trying anal at this point - especially if you are not entirely comfortable - cuz anal can hurt if you are not completely relaxed and ready for it.
Could have very little to do with "what" your doing. More "who" your doing it with. Sex (IMO) has very little to do with the physical act and everything to do with the mental connection. If I'm not mentally/intellectually stimulated by someone they are going to have to jump through hoops to get me aroused! (and even then I'll be thinking about someone else )
Try opening up the lines of communication about the topic with your partner. Sex should never be had for the "sake of having it."
I think I enjoy masturbating more than having sex with my partner. Even though I don't do either one right now, if I had to choose between a penis and my hand........I'll choose my right hand man!!!!
Maybe I'll try anal sex....I hope I won't regret it (I'm clenching my teeth)
No I'm not on any medication, but sometimes I do get stressed out. I'm not that attracted to him anymore...after I saw him completely naked (is that wrong???)
I'm 19 years old, and my partner is 27. He's only had 3 partners before me, but sometimes I feel that he doesn't know what he is doing. Everyday I try to learn to love something new about my body, but it gets kind of hard. I trust him, but I don't love him. I want to tell him that I don't enjoy sex, but it might hurt his feelings.
I don't plan on having sex with him anymore, because I don't enjoy it but I would like to enjoy it sooner or later.
While having sex I think about what I want to eat or what I'm going to do when I get home. I never concentrate on sex, and I don't know how to relax. I'm always tensed up, regardless of what I'm doing.
Everything you said curiousnycgirl sounds like my life.
Last edited by a_torn_novagirl; 13th February 2008 at 12:47 AM.
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