[tears_89]

Hi everyone,

I found out at the end of Dec my partner of 3 years was cheating on me with a girl from work. I found out after I picked him up from a night out and his phone rang, he ws so drunk I went to answer it but it rung out. Anyway I found texts etc and knew exactly who it was..

When I confronted him he at first denied it, then came clean, he was still pretty drunk at this point so I didn't get much of an explanation.

The next day he was very off with me and told me he didn't want a relationship with me etc, he couldn't handle it, he just went mental, I know him so well, he wasn't himself.

I faced the girl off at her work and she told me it had been going on little a week, he'd ran her home, they'd texted and kissed.

I am devastated. I saw my partner Xmas day and a couple of times after it and he told me he'd ended it with her, it was nothing special and that he'd felt pushed away by me. Hving a history of depression and the way I have been I cn kinda relate to him saying that. He told me he felt empty and didn't know how he felt, he needed time to sort himself out.

I left him to it and one day at work I received a text from him asking if I would like to talk.

We spoke for hours and he told me why it all happened,how much of a mistake it was, what a regret it was, how he realised how much he loved me, missed me and needed me and he hadn't realised it until I walked away and left him. He expalined all about her and why etc I am not going to go into detail but I know a lot now He has quit his job, and wants to make a go of things.

I really do too, but I am so hurt, i cant stop thinking about 'them' together. I keep asking myself, what did I do wrong, Is she better than me, Did he like her more than me etc, things like that.

I can't help bring her up which i know isn't helping matters but..

I can be fine one minute and off the rails the next shouting and being upset about it.

I feel utterly betrayed ans sometimes still can't believe he did this to me.

I do really want to make this work, I just need a push in the right direction as how to accept what happened, deal with it and put it in the past.

He is a good guy apart from what happened, I genuinely believe he made a mistake, and wants to make this work.

Please don't post replies like, dump him hes no use etc, I just need some friendly advice to help me cope a little better.

Thanks everyone x

[Always Wrong]

tears 89, hang in there, understanding the grief and loss process really helps. We experience the grief associated with loss in many ways.
Try reading these two single page resourses on "coping and loss", and "life stress factors" to be aware of, that can slow or completely stall the recovery process.
http://www.uiowa.edu/~ucs/griefloss.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_...e_stress_scale