Ex contacted me

nixer · 7th February 2008, 4:56 PM

Hello all,

My ex girlfriend broke up with me just over two months ago after being going out for 8 months, it was her that chased me in the beginning and asked me out etc... as everyone said she was crazy about me and some even suggested her reason for finishing with me were for me to change my ways and get back with her as a better, more attentive boyfriend

Anyway she broke up with me and for the first week i did the usual begging and pleading to no avail, i found it tough but then started to get back to normal and 3-4 weeks after the breakup started meeting other women. This did not go down to well with the ex and we parted ways on bad terms.

So nearly 40 days had passed since i started No Contact and two days ago i get a text message from her just saying "hello"...

I didnt reply but i cant help but think why she contacted me ??

It could be to get an ego boost, be friendly etc... but the last time we talked she asked me to delete all her contact details and she was going to delete mine...

Any words of wisdom ?

catskeepmesane · 7th February 2008, 5:06 PM

don't do it mate. you will get 30 seconds of feeling okay, 2 weeks of feeling crap. Believe me, NC is the only way.

CaliGuy · 7th February 2008, 5:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catskeepmesane

don't do it mate. you will get 30 seconds of feeling okay, 2 weeks of feeling crap. Believe me, NC is the only way.

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Breaking NC is like doing drugs. You feel good for a little while but the repercussions last much, much longer.

Don't do it.

s_n_d · 7th February 2008, 5:39 PM

I agree with catskeepmesane and CaliGuy.
Keep up the NC. Youve come too far to let it all go after she texts you saying "hello".
If she has something to say, she will text you again.

EYECANDY000 · 7th February 2008, 7:10 PM

Dont contact her! "Hello", will turn into "how r you", "and whats new"?. Then you may find out there is someone new in her life, and the pain will will start to hurt all over again..

Lee725 · 8th February 2008, 1:46 AM

keep up the NC, you have not come all this way to fall backwards.

nixer · 8th February 2008, 8:02 AM

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah my gut instinct straight away was not to reply, i know she is meeting other guys just like im meeting other girls so hearing it from her wouldnt be a shock. I know its wrong to second guess these forms of contact but from what i heard it sounds like she could be regreting her actions.

Either way it doesnt make a difference to me as i dont want to start dating her again.

And i know ye are probably thinking why am i on here posting about it if i dont want to be with her again.. the truth is that curiousty has me got as to why she texted considering she told me to delete all her contact details, when i finished with my last ex i never contacted her again..

I wouldnt mind being on "friendy" terms with the recent ex (dont mean very friendly) because we are both from a small community but i hadnt planned on talking to her for at least another 2 or 3 months...

Meaplus3 · 8th February 2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nixer

Hello all,

My ex girlfriend broke up with me just over two months ago after being going out for 8 months, it was her that chased me in the beginning and asked me out etc... as everyone said she was crazy about me and some even suggested her reason for finishing with me were for me to change my ways and get back with her as a better, more attentive boyfriend

Anyway she broke up with me and for the first week i did the usual begging and pleading to no avail, i found it tough but then started to get back to normal and 3-4 weeks after the breakup started meeting other women. This did not go down to well with the ex and we parted ways on bad terms.

So nearly 40 days had passed since i started No Contact and two days ago i get a text message from her just saying "hello"...

I didnt reply but i cant help but think why she contacted me ??

It could be to get an ego boost, be friendly etc... but the last time we talked she asked me to delete all her contact details and she was going to delete mine...

Any words of wisdom ?

The only way to really break this off is to stick with NC.. so I would not text her back! NC in the early stage's is tough however it truely is the only way. Pat yourself on the back for beign very strong so far and sticking to it. You can do it! Stay strong!

AP

becauseofyou · 8th February 2008, 11:30 AM

I agree with everyone else - stick with NC and move on. Go with your gut instinct. You sound strong about it - keep with it!!!

Jackieboy · 8th February 2008, 1:15 PM

I agree with everyone on this thread. DO NOT reply, you may bring a whole heap of pain down on your head, why risk it? The worst is over, NO CONTACT!

Chrome Barracuda · 8th February 2008, 1:20 PM

Do not reply! It's a trap, she's waiting to see if she has you on a string!!!

dfreeman · 8th February 2008, 1:24 PM

or, return an equally short "HellNo"!

CaliGuy · 8th February 2008, 2:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nixer

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah my gut instinct straight away was not to reply, i know she is meeting other guys just like im meeting other girls so hearing it from her wouldnt be a shock. I know its wrong to second guess these forms of contact but from what i heard it sounds like she could be regreting her actions.

Either way it doesnt make a difference to me as i dont want to start dating her again.

And i know ye are probably thinking why am i on here posting about it if i dont want to be with her again.. the truth is that curiousty has me got as to why she texted considering she told me to delete all her contact details, when i finished with my last ex i never contacted her again..

I wouldnt mind being on "friendy" terms with the recent ex (dont mean very friendly) because we are both from a small community but i hadnt planned on talking to her for at least another 2 or 3 months...

Look at her "hello" as breadcrumbs. She's feeding you a breadcrumb to feed her ego. She wants to know that she can have you when and if she ever decides she does.

You gotta ask yourself this: "Don't I respect myself enough not to fall for her tablescraps of attention?"

The answer should always be yes. That is another reason we're so big on NC. It's not to punish your ex. It's mainly to help rebuild your confidence and self-esteem.

Cheers.

nixer · 13th February 2008, 7:40 AM

Well a week has past and i have heard no more from the ex, looks like her reason for contacting wasnt too important, either that or she is just been stuborn as usual, glad i never replied..

leftinthedark · 13th February 2008, 10:04 PM

Maybe I'm missing something?

Aren't most people on this board cause they want their ex back?

Why so many don't replies? Maybe I missed your original thread?

Do you want her back or not? She contacted you cause she misses you most likely and hasn't contacted you cause you ignored her.

If you want her back you can't ignore her forever. (Obviously)

I'm not sure what advice to give you cause I'm not sure if you definately don't want her back or if you do.

If you definately don't want her back then you did the right thing. NC is definately the way to go.

If you do want her back it wouldn't have hurt to wait a day or two and just send a cheerful hello, how are you? back.

Then of course you should be friendly, cheery, don't prod or sound desperate. Don't bring up relationship stuff, if you talk on the phone keep it at 10 minutes, always end the convo first but be very friendly, happy and confident. Build a friendship with her again and take it really slow and let her be the one to take the lead but just remember to not come off desperate!