Since I was little, I have always been physically abused by my dad, then my big brother who is 18 started physically abusing me when I was about 10 or 11. I am nearly 14 now. When I was about 9 or 10 my grandfather touched me like five times then he moved out of our house. I was paralysed when he touched me down there. I was frozen and couldnt move or speak, then finally I tried to turn around with wide open eyes. Is he still wrong when I didnt make him stop. Is this sexual abuse? I definately try stop my big brother and dad though, sometimes I grab objects to defend myself. But it never works. Only a knife does and that makes them even more angry and violent. I just do small things like not go to bed when they tell me to or try to stand up for myself when they say mean things.
The month I turned 13 I got lead to a dark place and this drunk random who was about 20 something had sex with me. Again, I was paralysed and scared, once I asked him to get off me but he kept going, it really hurt and I bled a little bit. Then finally he fell asleep on top of me, I couldnt move for like 5 minutes, I was really upset and was crying. I pushed him off and ran away.
My mum sometimes is calling me names like slut, whore etc. and tells me to not wear so much makeup and change my clothes. Once, I was going to the beach to see my friends. I was dressed in some short shorts, cardigan and bikini top, she yelled at me for about an hour telling me to stop acting like a slut etc. and wouldnt let me go see my friends, she knew I was going to the beach. She always makes me cry and accuses me of doing things I dont do. Now she is following me everywhere I go and wont let me do a thing with my friends apart from going to school. She is ruining my social life and I am really really upset. Is this classified as abuse?
From year 4 to year 8 I was bullied at school because I told my so-called friends about what happened to me, 90% of them didnt believe me and called me names and things. I had no friends and cried almost everyday. Now I am a year 9 and there are still rumours going around about me. People I dont even know come up to me and ask me sick questions or they say hey boiana to me, I ask them how they know my name, and they say everybody is talking about me.
When I was a year 7 to 8, I used to cut and got so depressed, I got bullied even more. I started having sex with guys alot and sleeping around and I always felt dirty afterwards and would break down crying. I am most likely to be pregnant now and I dont know what the hell to do.
I told the police once, they said "go to the authorities" and walked off, I was so angry then and didnt tell anybody else again. I dont trust anymore adults and stuff. I dont know anything about the authorities etc.
I live in New Zealand, north island. Please give me advice and help me, I really have nothing to live for!!!!
They will help you find a rape/abuse hot line IN YOUR AREA.
If you don't trust the police, tell someone else.
PLEASE check it out. Tell people what is going on. Good for you for having the courage to speak out.
NEVER be afraid to do that.
You can have a better life.
Please talk to these people-they are professionals that want to help you.
Do it TODAY. For yourself.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
There IS hope.
Best of luck-
Yes XB don't keep this inside,and certainly seek help,keep looking till you find it. Help is out there.
Is there a guidance councelor at your school? We use to hav them,and they can help you.
You do have something to live for,and your here for a reason. You are just lik anyone of us here on this forum,a person. Try to see a guidance councelor at your school k? Can you try that first? And if someone rapes you,you call 911(I'm learning that too,don't be afraid to call the police).
what has happened to you is horible. But it doesnt make you a slut or a bad person because the people who were suposed to protect you abused you. Maybe you could tell a teacher at school about this, or just copy and paste what you wrote here and email it to your teacher at school. The kids at school won't find out and you don't need to tell them anything you don't want, but please just tell a teacher. Some one needs to start taking care of you.
I am sorry for everything that has happened to you. You are so young to have dealt with so much.
It sounds like you need to lean on someone you can trust, and tune out those who are not looking out for your best interest. You have to be strong and do what is best for you and your health, your baby, your potential, and possibilities yet to unfold. It may seem all too much to deal with, but this too shall pass. You need to call for help in the right direction - maybe school counsellors can direct you or your doctor, or local help line can also provide support. In our area your local municipality website can offer a link to free assistance links, url's and centres so that you can feel safe, supported, given good information, choices.
You are a survivor - your story is a testament to that! Be strong and look for support and answers to help you heal and move forward.
I've been in your situation- just not quite as bad. I survived and although
I bear some mental and physical scars from what happened to me- my therapist says I'm lucky to be alive. I have thrived. You can too. You can too, I totally believe it!
Please check out these links that Sunny has made available to you.
None of this is your fault. These people are adults and your not. You are not a slut- you're just acting out of frustration and pain.
Tell someone who can help you. Is there a friend of yours who has a parent you trust and who could help you??
I'm sending up a prayer for you- I hope you find peace soon.
XB you have done NOTHING wrong. Unfortunately the adults in your life have some serious issues. You being "frozen" while being abused is not giving permission: you were simply in shock. You are being victimized, and please don't turn it back on yourself. You are blameless.
I am so sorry for what you have had to go through. I have a daughter around your age, and reading your post just breaks my heart. I wish I could help you beyond my words.
My advice is to speak to an adult you trust. A teacher, maybe? I am a teacher, and in my country (Canada), if a child makes a claim of abuse, we HAVE to follow it up (legally, I could get into trouble if I didn't) with a call to Children's Aid. I am pretty sure that New Zealand has some kind of similar child protection agency. Hopefully, then, you will get the help and protection that you need.
Please hang in there and don't blame yourself, or hurt yourself anymore. Be strong (it sounds like you are VERY strong, I'm impressed with your maturity!) and do what you have to do to take care of yourself. And don't fear/mistrust all adults. I am sure there is someone (again, a teacher, a female relative, preferably one you like and trust) who can help you.
Best of luck and know that there are people who sincerely hope that you will not have to deal with this situation much longer .
ADVERTISEMENT In association with Amazon, a portion of your purchase helps support LoveShack.org
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 5:38 PM.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Sexually abused, physically abused and??
Seek Recovery
.
Linear Mode
