[Jmina]

Significant/unique words that she used in which to express herself now seem to float around and around my head from day to day. I thought the best thing to do would be get them out of my head and into cyber world.


*Awes.

-she said awes instead of awesome.

or *****ing awesome
-if it was really good

*Crazy Cats

-refering to her friends

*Giggidy Giggidy

-when something excited her
-when she saw me dressed up

*On the trolley
-when she finally follows you in a conversation after trying to explain something she'd say 'ohhh now i'm on the trolley!' .. lol

*ass

-she said ass alot...

*Babe
-she called all her close friends babe...
-i was called baby.


*Numb
-she was always numb...when someone tells me they are numb i just instantly think of her and how it was a feeling she could never shake

*Your mom goes to college

-we used to say this all the time... i know she still says this now

*she never typed 'umm', she always typed 'erm'


Her name i can't shake from my mind sometimes. I read it alot online in emails and msn and things like that when we were together as a lot of our relationship was long distance. Her name always sparked something inside me.

When i watch movies i like, or the comedians i like i think of her because she liked the same.. that part of a break up sucks... it kind of ruins your favourite songs - movies -artists - shows. It takes a long long time to disolve the attatchment of your ex to your favourite things you used to do together.

The puppy that we had together was from my brothers dog who looks identical... and when i see him i just think of our little hucky... i adored him and he sparks the memory of our little family we had... how we used to take our doggies for walks every night on the beach... one time hucky pooed on the pavement on the esplanade and we scooped and pups up and sprinted back to the car laughing and squealing with the dogs ears flapping as we ran as we had nothing to clean it up with!

I could go all night with fond memories and i dont want to bore you guys with it. Ive set myself back a bit by looking at her faec book. i stopped that now, and will try my hardest not to go back on there. although im not sure i believe myself...

so i just have to work through this again like every other time and come out on top. i know i will... again... i just wonder when it will actually stop and how many stages this whole thing actually have... if this was a video game i think i would have gone through about 500 levels and the next two sequels - with more to come.

Its like star trek!

number 1200 - so very very tired.

=)

any chats or wisdom or thoughts or support are really appreciated

Jmina

[Jmina]

Oh and jsut to add - i know that some of this is dwelling and staying in the past - but im taking this moment to do that. usually it passes quite quickly and i gain more insight anyway.

this is my journey and sometimes i like to remember my experiences - experience equals knowledge. sometimes i like to fall into a soft hazy moment down memory lane - i always enjoy picking myself back up after also.

[sandflea]

I think it's totally OK to occassionally be inspired by someone you once loved. I think it's healthy to remember the good times, the witicizms, and quirks of someone you once loved. It means you really did pay attention - you were very much "there" at the time to have been able to notice all these little thingees.

If you can focus on what you GAINED from the relationship, and not what you lost - you are a sage! Always hold those things in your heart - and you'll grow from the past you shared.

You don't have to let go of everything. You were there - it was good once. It will CERTAINLY be good again.

[serendip]

I think it's cool to still remember the love....

When I was younger, I used to think the greatest act of courage was attempting the first kiss. I still do in some ways, but I have come to realize...that is a child´s thought born out of naivete. Now-a-days I think the greatest act of courage is leaving something or someone that doesn't make you happy...no matter how comfortable the situation is...only because it allows you see it for what it really is and puts you in a fortunate position of discovering the idiosyncrasies of other things. To me that is always a joy.

[s_n_d]

Maybe you should consider deactivating facebook for a while. Whenever you want you can always activate it again and you dont have to have the hassle of adding all your friends over again and all that.. I deactivated my facebook account about two or three weeks ago.Jeez I dont even remember how long ago it was. But since then I have thought about ex that much less. Im thinking Ill activate it again very soon. I just cant handle having all his friends posting pictures of them and him..It kills me..Even after three months. I really hope I can get past this painful stage of the post breakup madness. Itll probably take me a year to get over him but Im making the consious effort of doing so.
Stay strong...
Everyday for me is a reflection of what you just posted...Full of memories of the ex.
His favourite stores, his work..I pass by his work every single day on my way home from school.I cannot avoid it because I take the bus to and from university...Even his friends that go to my school..
Just something as simple as the way a person talks reminds me of him.
He used to say "flawless" a lot. "That movie was f****** flawless."
Little things get me smiling and then soon after its back to being even more depressed over the breakup.