[liddie]

So now that I have your attention....

Have any of the OW/OM out there ever been thru hard times with your MM/MW? How did you find the way to console your MP when it was a family member and you could not physically be there for them?

[BetrayedMM]

Same way you comfort anyone who loses a loved one. Grief is grief.

Or are you interested in instructions on how to prevent them from contemplating their own fate? You can't. He will be considering what to do about you. I hope he makes the right decision.

[liddie]

I am a person who likes the one-one in situations like these. Its hard for me to comfort him over the phone without feeling like I need to do more.

Whenever death occurs ppl always contemplate life and death...fate...we talked about it today.

[OWoman]

Originally Posted by liddie

So now that I have your attention....

Have any of the OW/OM out there ever been thru hard times with your MM/MW? How did you find the way to console your MP when it was a family member and you could not physically be there for them?

My MM almost lost a parent a little while back. I flew out and stayed with him at his parent's house until things stabilised, at the parent's invitation. It may be different if you don't know the family member yourself?

Liddie perhaps a card or a letter with some thoughts, or something he could keep with him as a reminder (something symbolic, on a keyring or such, that he can slip his hand into his pocket and feel, as a way of conjuring your presence), just to let him know you're there for him?

[lost4ever]

My xmm and I lost a dear friend just last week. There is no way for me to comfort him, and he can't comfort me.

He has his wife to comfort him, to feel sorry for him. It is her he will take to the funeral, he will hold her hand when we say are goodbyes to our friend. Not only will I stand at his grave alone, but I also will not have anyone holding my hand.

[liddie]

Originally Posted by OWoman

Liddie perhaps a card or a letter with some thoughts, or something he could keep with him as a reminder (something symbolic, on a keyring or such, that he can slip his hand into his pocket and feel, as a way of conjuring your presence), just to let him know you're there for him?

OW - That is a great idea. He lost his grandmother (well stepgrandmother of 20 or so years)last month and just a few days ago he lost a 22 yr old cousin. When his grandmother died I bought him a card and wrote a note in it. I have been sending texts letting him know that I am hear and he called me yesterday...he sounded so pitiful.

I always say you can't help who you fall in love with and now it seems in this situation the person you fall in love with you can't help!!

Lost - My heart goes out to you. I know that you must feel so alone and watching him with his W will not be easy. Hang in there cuz you are not alone!!