[lexi29]

I know this is probably none of my business but as it affect two people I am close to it is hard to bite my tongue- my bf has an 8 yr old son. Two years ago he went to court and got full custody of him and the boy's mother kept taking him away from my bf whenever she decided she wanted to raise her son (or she wanted child support is more like it) history- when the boy was not even a year old she left him with my bf and didn't come back for almost 2 years!! NOt a word, not a call on his birthday or anything. Just disappeared. She now has a daughter with her live in boyfriend (who has SIX other children he doesn't support).

My bf's son's mother continued her erratic behavior of abandoning him and then forcing him to live with her when she found it convenient. Bf went to court 4 yrs ago and got joint custody agreement in which he had his son during the summer and weekends and the mother had him during school and on weekends during the summer. Once my bf stopped paying child support (because he had his son full time) she stopped coming around to see her own child. Just never called,, never showed up.

But then one day ( 2 yrs ago) she said she wanted him full time and my bf to pay child support again. My bf took her to court because their son wanted to live with his dad and my bf was tired of the back and forth and the effect it was having on his son. the court awarded him FULL custody and the mother has visitation every other weekend and they share holidays and thats it. She can see him more if she wants but has to have it approved by my bf (she NEVER asks to see him more than her court ordered visitation) and she even skips the court ordered visitation (as in no call no show!) several times during the year.

Recenty the child's mother has been very nice to my bf (saying please and thank you and agreeing to his holiday schedule) and he noticed the change and I told him "she's up to something".

Well I was right- the boy came home from his mother's this weekend and told me that his mom told him he has to choose when he wants to live with his dad (that he can either live with his dad during the summer or he can live with his dad during the school year) This is how their court order WAS (shared custody) until 2 years ago) and now this is NOT the way things are. She gets to see him on weekends and thats it. Well the boy is noticably upset- he hates staying with his mother and she is threatening him he's going to have to leave his dad. We both (my bf and I) told him that the court says what happens and nothing is going to change. (That he DOES not have to choose and he is staying with his dad) Well he tells us that his mom promised him all this stuff if he choses to live with her (she didn't even buy him christmas presents this year!!) HIs mom told him since he is 8 he can tell a judge he wants to live with his mom. (actually the age is 12 in our state)

Also the other day (a separate day) the son told us that his mom said his dad is not his real dad and that her first husband (guy she left my bf for) is his real dad and that his dad (My bf) didn't want him at all when he was born.!!!! She is telling an 8 yr old that his dad didn't want him!! Nothing could be farther from the truth. my bf didn't even know she was pregnant (she left him before she had the baby) and he didn't find out till his son was almost a year old (when the mother dropped him off and never returned) and he had a paternity test done and his son is HIS). My bf raised his son alone for 2 years (when his mother disappeared).

I am so tired of this "Mother" causing her son all this mental anguish. My bf can't do anything because he said talking to her does no good. SHe won't listen. she wants to have her son for school or the summer so she can collect child support from my bf. She was supposed to pay child support for the last two years but she doesn't want to work so she has paid nothing. She has also told her son that if he doesn't choose to live with her she will have his dad killed (yes she actually said this to him!) Is there any type of legal action my bf can take against her? This is all heresay because these are just things his son says (but I don't think he would make this stuff up as he is genuinely distraught about it)

[Ronni_W]

You are right -- this part of it is none of your business. Your b/f will decide when he wants to find out if there is any legal recourse against her emotional abuse of their son.

All you can do is continue to be a positive influence in the child's life, and reassure him that he is loved by you both and will be protected by his Dad no matter what.

Some people just love drama, I guess.