I just went out for coffee with my ex

Rowen · 15th December 2007, 7:57 PM

Well I just goit back.

It was good and interesting and I really don't know how to feel right now.

She commented on my new jacket etc, said it looked cute. Asked how I was doing, my family etc. A bit of flirting going on. Reminding each other of things etc.

She talked alot about that she is so stressed out and not doing really great.Said something to the extent of "my kitty is the only thing that really makes me happy" etc etc.

Just general chit chat.

My ex ex gf called during and i talked and after she was curious to who i was talking to. My ex ex wants to get back together with me and she asked me if I would.. and I said "hell no.. once a cheater always a cheater"

We had some laughs. IT was good.

She mentioned nothing about her new "bf" .. only said "when we took him back to our apartment" stuff like that. Nothing at all.

She said she had to go make dinner.. she's annorexic.... so we walked over to "her street" i guess and she said "would if be weird if I hugged you?... since you thought it was weird i wanted to hang out with you today?" I said "yes of course it's weird.............................just kidding" and we hugged, she went on her way.. I guess to her new apartment which is not where I thought it was.... she walked down the street .. she said "have a good christmas" and that was that.

Also last night she texted me "hey there" and a couple other ones like that and I asked her what that was about.. and she just said "i was bored.. that a problem" jokingly.

She also made some side comments which seemed interesting on other topics and she looked at me and said "well you know sometimes, you gotta make the first move"

in my head i kinda chuckled.

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kitkat289 · 15th December 2007, 10:11 PM

hey thats great to hear something positive.Goodluck and dont always let things go the way she would like them to...afterall you are single and she has to 'realise' it.

Rowen · 17th December 2007, 10:56 PM

Any other responses? I need them please.

CalamitousJane · 17th December 2007, 11:21 PM

Ah Rowen,

You know, if she was really, really committed to the new bf there's no way in he$$ she'd be having coffee with you, unless she was introducing him to you. Plus, I'm sure you know you played it exactly right - nice and light, no pushing, yes keeping her guessing a bit,

Obviously she still likes you. But meanwhile she's sneaking out on the new guy, and gettin' all hugy with you...

Doesn't that make you question her character a bit?

Rowen · 17th December 2007, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalamitousJane

Ah Rowen,

You know, if she was really, really committed to the new bf there's no way in he$$ she'd be having coffee with you, unless she was introducing him to you. Plus, I'm sure you know you played it exactly right - nice and light, no pushing, yes keeping her guessing a bit,

Obviously she still likes you. But meanwhile she's sneaking out on the new guy, and gettin' all hugy with you...

Doesn't that make you question her character a bit?

Yeah I agree.. Not only having coffee with me.. but having coffee with me just blocks away from their "new apartment"

The thing is.. she just does not talk about him.. i know nothing about him. Her facebook still says "single"

Sometimes I think she made this bf up and is just living with a friend or something to see my reaction or to allow her to go at her own pace with me.

I was very proud of myself though at the coffee.. she got a "suspicious" call at coffee and was talking about "reservations" very vague.. really odd... and i just looked away.. bit my lip , didnt care.

.. thats huge for me.. and hopefully for her, beucase jealousy lead to the biggest fight we had I hurt her in and was the fuse for the breakup.

Ironically enough my ex ex gf called me during coffee and she seemed awfully interested in who was calling me

hehe, asked twice. and i told her my ex ex watned to get back with me and she eagerly asked me what my answer was to her and what signs she was giving hehe. it felt good.

ive just completley ignored anything shes mentioned about any kind of BF....Not even a comment or thought on it. No questions. Whatever.

CalamitousJane · 18th December 2007, 12:02 AM

Sounds like you're playing it exactly right so far, but maybe it's time to call her on the whole "boyfriend" thing.

Maybe next time she calls you (and she will) you could tell her you've been thinking about it and you feel kinda creepy about the hugs and texts, what with the boyfriend and all. Tell her that you were thinking about how it would make you feel, if you were the boyfriend and you found out.

Then keep it on the seriously "just friends" level, until she breaks up with him. Assuming he actually exists.

But honestly, if she's messing with you at that level, I'd have second thoughts about wanting her as a partner.

Trialbyfire · 18th December 2007, 12:07 AM

Why do you want someone who either makes up a fictitious b/f or steps out on someone who she's supposedly living with?

Rowen · 18th December 2007, 1:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

Why do you want someone who either makes up a fictitious b/f or steps out on someone who she's supposedly living with?

Ive thought about that.

1. Maybe she does have a bf and is stepping out on him.. thats not good. But I know we had a deep connection and love.

2.If she doesnt have a bf, sure.. it makes me question and that's not good.

3.She is only 18, and can be very immature at times.

Ive been very patient with her. VERY patient!

Ive been the only one to listen to her and to talk to her and to connect with her on a level like I did. She even said so.

The reason why I still want her? I am still in love with her. She is a good person, just with some issues. I believe in the good in people. Hey.. if she comes back and I get hurt again... I take blame.

I believe in her.

Trialbyfire · 18th December 2007, 1:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rowen

Ive been very patient with her. VERY patient!

From the sounds of it, I would say so. How much longer are you willing to put up with her bad behaviours?

No matter how you slice it, in both situations, she's lying to someone. It's the lying that would bother me.

Rowen · 18th December 2007, 2:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

From the sounds of it, I would say so. How much longer are you willing to put up with her bad behaviours?

No matter how you slice it, in both situations, she's lying to someone. It's the lying that would bother me.

Very true. And ive thought about that.

Thats the funny thing though.

She has grown closer to me gradually on a week basis it seems over the past month and a half.

It took me practically yanking her teeth out to get her to say she had a bf.. she just did not want to tell me for some reason.

Either.. its made up.. or she just doesnt like him very much and likes me. I dont know.