I met my ex-bf online. He broke up with me and now I'm obsessing over any profiles on dating sites that match his description...I found one that matched him exactly, and he was online today too =(
I know it's crazy but I can't help it...and it won't do any good if I keep doing this to myself. And I know I can't do anything to prevent him from doing anything ...we've broken up and there's nothing I can do but it just feels so terrible inside ...
Update: I didn't know it was him at first and actually messaged him, and later when he started talking about himself and finally gave me his email it WAS IN FACT HIM
I got really upset, and it just really hurts to have him move on looking for someone so soon....to KNOW that he's actively searching like he just tossed me away like garbage.
that is so wierd! I met my ex on a dating site too. We dated for 5 weeks and then he dumped me saying he was not ready for a relationship but then I find him still active on the dating site soon after. That really hurt me esp since he made me feel so special and showered me with so much affection.
He has since sent me random text and email messages.
What reason did you guy give to end it? Sorry to hear you are going through this, I know it hurts even though you did not date that long. I guess when you think it had potential to go somewhere and then it abruptly ends, that really sucks.
We dated for 5 months, he ended it 3 weeks ago, and I find him on dating websites and I even spoke to him anonymously, and I just felt sooo awful and to hear him describe things about himself, it just breaks my heart..
He hasn't contacted me since breaking up, and his reason for breaking up with me was just that he didn't feel the same away anymore and the spark was gone =( I've been trying to find out why he did it but I just can't figure it out... I just feel like he ripped out my heart, and I was just used, and he disposed of me and searching so actively to find someone to replace me already
He sounds like a twat! The way I am trying to get over mine is to think that I am a great girl with alot to offer and if he thinks the grass is greener by going back on the dating site then so be it. A loser.
You need to build up your confidence and say you deserve better than this. Put your needs first. If he cannot realise what a good thing he had then that is really his loss.
I'm still hurting over mine but if he wants to meet/chat with other woman there is nothing I can do. If he comes back then I will have a strong words with him. I guess my situation is abit different to yours as he did not want a relationship with anyone but at the end of the day they have hurt us and played with our emotionals which is unfair.
I do feel I have abit more control since he has been contacting me by text which I think is wierd. Give yourself time and don't contact him and don't correspond with him by pretending to be someone else as you are only prolonging your pain and torturing yourself.
Yeah I've been trying to cope. There are good days and bad days.... sometimes I feel so free I think I'm totally over it. But then other times I'd get so lonely (like right now) and think about all the **** that's happened.
And I completely agree with your last sentence there.
I have to stop what I'm doing and checking to see if he's going on these dating sites. It won't do anything good for myself, and I can't control what he's doing. It will only hurt me more, the more I know about what he is doing....I do realize that. It's just so difficult. I think I will stop going on those websites just until I am over it.
Every time I see his profile I will just hurt. Even seeing someone who matches his height/description/everything and emailing him to see if it is him... it won't help me at all. I know that...it's just so difficult...
Sounds like we both are having a bad day. I resisted for the last week not to check my ex dating profile but did tonight just out of curosity and he was active - boy am I angry especially since he sent me some random text last week. That's it I'm not going to be made a fool of - he can get stuffed. Does he truly not think I am not going to check up on him. And all this crap that he is not ready for a relationship then why the f*** is he still actively looking on the dating site - the idiot!
I just hope he meets some bunny boiler looney - the loser! I deserve better than this.
Hey London Girl -- yeah at least you know that there are people out there going through a similar thing (or even worse) ya know? So in the end if we can just step back and realize there's so much more to life than HIM. It's easy to complain and mope but I think the only thing we can do is stand up and be BETTER. I think someone told me this, just WANT to get better. WANT to move on. Time will pass and it will seem like a distant memory...
Yes we deserve better!! They will meet total losers and regret letting us go.
Cheer up! I find the best distraction is doing something you enjoy, something that can take your mind off things. If I wasn't in the middle of exams I would be spending all my time with friends, going for a movie, just hanging out, talking about whatever that does NOT revolve around my ex. Ya know? Too bad I need to stay home and study and then I easily daydream, and start thinking about the ex again. But no more!!
I need to move on with my day too, AND my life!! Hope you feel better. Post again if you want to talk I'll check in perhaps in a couple hours.
Back when I was with my ex, we weren't in a committed relationship (well he wasnt, i was lol). I'd log into the famous jewish dating site and see when he was last active, and he'd be active almost daily, and it was like a knife in my heart each time I saw it.
Now, we've been broken up for 6 months, and he's not been on in a long time. He's with someone and happy, presumably, else he's not dating off that site or changed his profile who knows. It hurts. Looking hurts you and really does you no good.
When you get the urge to look, try to distract yourself. If you have to look, maybe set a limit. I can only look once a day, or once a week, or whatever. It helps, honestly.
I used to look all the time. Now it's a fleeting thought and I do look once in a while, but nothing like I once did.
First steps to moving on require you let go of the things that keep you attached to them. Looking at their profiles/myspace/webpages etc keeps you attached, even though only in a cyber way.
Good luck to you. Keep posting. We know how hard it is.
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"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option." - Unknown
It's a sucky situation! Well I trust that he wasn't checking the dating sites while we were still together. God I hope he didn't. Well I'm not caught up in that. He was a great boyfriend, it's just painful to see someone you thought was so special first deciding that they never want to see you again. and second that they want someone else so soon. as if i was just a quick few months thing. I guess I was head over heels over him and he wasn't. Which was why he left before it would hurt me even more further down the road. It didn't make sense for him to keep stringing me along either if he didn't have the same feelings as I did for him.
Good tip though, I'm going to think of something to do INSTEAD of checking my MSN or his profile or the online dating sites. Eg. I will turn on the radio whenever I have the urge, or call a friend (NOT HIM), or go study for my exams... I don't care anymore. He's not my boyfriend anymore. It doesn't make a difference who he screws around with. We're finished.
Sometimes I just have to write it down to feel the difference, to know what I'm logically thinking is the RIGHT THING TO DO. It's kind of therapeutic actually.
Thanks for the responses! Hope everyone out there is doing okay We'll all make it through.. that's life for ya
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I'll check in perhaps in a couple hours.
We'll all make it through.. that's life for ya
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