[sedgwick]

Tonight I was talking to a guy I just met about our exes. I told him the story of mine, and he said, "I lost the love of my life because I didn't treat her right. I broke her heart. I've never found another soulmate like that. That was 15 years ago. I've always regretted the way I treated her."

I told him what had happened with my ex and he said, "He thinks about you all the time. I promise."

And then someone else said to me today that she thought he'd figure it out and come find me eventually.

Hearing stuff like this is so hard. It's driving me crazy wondering if he's tried to contact me, but I'll never know because I've had everything blocked. Because I ran off and left the country. Because I think I'd melt into a puddle if I saw him.

There is this little part of me that keeps saying, he'll figure it out, just give him the space he wants and then some. But then I think, no, he's really done with me, because if he wanted me he'd have come to my apartment. He knows how to find me. Oh god, I hate this...I hate this. I've never had that kind of connection with anyone. I'm so angry and insulted and baffled that someone could have something like that and just flake out and let it get away.

[Leia]

Can't you unblock him? The thing with listening to all these people saying all those things is that it may not be true. That is how the guy is feeling about his 'ex-soulmate'. Different people think differently... your ex may be thinking of you but that doesn't mean he wants to get back together.

It is not easy to let go of someone whom you had a great connection with but it is something you must do to make you sane again. It totally sucks big time, I know that... it doesn't help at all that you love him to death but things happen...