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What do you want to happen? If you want to be done with him (you did file for divorce...), then you need to set some boundaries, and not let him walk all over you.
If you want to get back together, you will need to set some requirements and expect him to meet them to get back into your good graces, and be willing to do some work yourself, too - not that the affair was your fault, but your marriage might benefit from an overhaul, which might reveal some areas that you can contribute to its rebuilding.
What do you want to happen? You might have to take action to move things in that direction.
And no, just filing is not being divorced... Was that just a rhetorical question, or are you unsure of what you need to do to move the divorce process along?
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and everything under the sun is in tune...
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