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Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 6th November 2007, 7:25 PM   #1
hot1234
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Are we divorced?

Ill be brief...my ex husband had an affair, I filed for divorced yet he still acts as though were still together (minus the sex)comes over for dinner things like that...he says he will never stop loving me and hopes we end up together eventually...yet he does nothing to make that happen...is he just playing games or what...he is making me mental AGAIN!
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Old 6th November 2007, 8:14 PM   #2
Trimmer
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What do you want to happen? If you want to be done with him (you did file for divorce...), then you need to set some boundaries, and not let him walk all over you.

If you want to get back together, you will need to set some requirements and expect him to meet them to get back into your good graces, and be willing to do some work yourself, too - not that the affair was your fault, but your marriage might benefit from an overhaul, which might reveal some areas that you can contribute to its rebuilding.

What do you want to happen? You might have to take action to move things in that direction.

And no, just filing is not being divorced... Was that just a rhetorical question, or are you unsure of what you need to do to move the divorce process along?
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Old 6th November 2007, 8:21 PM   #3
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I just went back over your previous posts. Are you still dating the guy who doesn't go as rough as you would like? Does your STBXH know about him? Where does that play in the dynamic between you?

Also, does his "I'll love you forever..." thing come off as creepy and stalkerish, or just sweet and kind of naiive?
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Old 7th November 2007, 2:29 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hot1234 View Post
Ill be brief...my ex husband had an affair, I filed for divorced yet he still acts as though were still together (minus the sex)comes over for dinner things like that...he says he will never stop loving me and hopes we end up together eventually...yet he does nothing to make that happen...is he just playing games or what...he is making me mental AGAIN!

What do YOU want? That's the important thing here. If you want to move on, go NC with your husband.

Remember, he had an affair and broke all trust you had in him. Can you really trust him completely again? If not, move forward with your life and don't look back.
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Old 9th November 2007, 9:07 PM   #5
heftysmurf
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Trust is tough

You want to believe so badly but can you? Answer that question and you will have happiness.
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