So as some of you know from other threads, I light heartedly broke NC this week via some text messages while at an airport, to my ex. We had a few back and forth, I didn't ask if he's seeing anyone or anything like that, just some banter about the week I spent out in his home area.
With that in mind, I had my first dream in a LONG TIME with him in it this weekend. Coincidence? I think not.
So this lead me to thinking, what does breaking NC lead to?
For me so far it leads to:
1.) Dreams of the person
2.) reawareness of the persons existence
3.) some wondering as to how the person is doing without me
What does it lead to for you?
__________________
"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option." - Unknown
Stress with the waiting for reply, paranoia, more pain, confusion, even more over-analyzing, a feeling of being an idiot - dissapointment in myself. But a few positive emotions if they reply..that usually doesn't last long because they usually don'treply with what you wanted them to. Well like...never unless you're lucky.
Stress with the waiting for reply, paranoia, more pain, confusion, even more over-analyzing, a feeling of being an idiot - dissapointment in myself. But a few positive emotions if they reply..that usually doesn't last long because they usually don'treply with what you wanted them to. Well like...never unless you're lucky.
Yeah, it's never the reply you'd like to hear. Like "i'm miserable without you". Of course I did have some satisfaction when I learned that some things that went his way when we were together were no longer. And it's funny because when we were together we used to joke that it was because of me. And every time we broke up, he'd do badly again, and then when we got back, he'd do better. So, it seems I was a positive thing to his life, and this proves it! hehe
I'm feeling tempted to contact my ex too, because her family had to evacuate the fires, but I know mostly, I want her to say she's sorry or validate I am not a bad person by responding.
Ok, that's not true, I want her to validate that our relationship was real and that she didn't use me for sex and for her to admit how she treated me was wrong.
The funny thing is, I'm on my way to see a different "ex" in a few minutes. I only wish that my last gf had just given me the space I asked for -- and not tried to be friends with benefits with me maybe 11 days after the out of the blue breakup, via email (fwb, breakup was in person, though she flirted for 6 hours before doing it, which confused the **** out of me) -- I think we could have been friends eventually. But I went berserker on her, completely reaming her out, and heard nothing to a couple apologies I sent her way.
She'll never validate me the way I want, and I can't kid myself: contacting her at all would be to receive that validation, which is why it is pointless for me to do it. I won't get what I want.
To be honest, breaking NC gives you temporary release of pain. However, from my own experience , every time I have broken NC I have only made things worse and even though I am actually starting to move on I can't help but think that every time I break NC I prolong the mourning process.
So as some of you know from other threads, I light heartedly broke NC this week via some text messages while at an airport, to my ex. We had a few back and forth, I didn't ask if he's seeing anyone or anything like that, just some banter about the week I spent out in his home area.
With that in mind, I had my first dream in a LONG TIME with him in it this weekend. Coincidence? I think not.
So this lead me to thinking, what does breaking NC lead to?
For me so far it leads to:
1.) Dreams of the person
2.) reawareness of the persons existence
3.) some wondering as to how the person is doing without me
What does it lead to for you?
Breaking NC simply leads to hopes of reigniting the relationship and thus stops any forward progress towards moving on. It's why everyone is so adamant about not breaking it at all cost.
each time i (the dumpee) go NC, my ex (the dumper) breaks it someway.
even though i don't reply to his sms or email, i end up feeling bitter and disappointed.
yes, i try to ignore him but it's not easy at all.
...leads to wondering why they return your emails in the AM at work instead of at night at home. Makes you wonder who they were potentially with. Makes you wonder why you weren't the one.
...leads to wondering why they return your emails in the AM at work instead of at night at home. Makes you wonder who they were potentially with. Makes you wonder why you weren't the one.
SO much fun!
I feel your pain. Been there done that. But you know, it gives more fuel to the NC fire and just let it go.
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