[Vanah]

[SIZE=2]Well, this is my first time here, and I really need some advice.
Up until recently, me and my girlfriend had been living amazing, close lives. We had ben going for two years, and shared the best of memories, overcome the all the obstacles we had been faced with, been there for eachother in the darkest of times, we seemed invincible together. Everything seemed happy and well, apart from the odd bickering but I suppose thats normal. Anyway, she started acting very quiet and detatched recently, so I asked Why.
She started to tell me that I was an annoyance to her. That I was clingy, over protective, that I pester her alot, put her in hard positions, and other things.
I wont deny it, many of these things are true, but they where all kinda bad habits, and we both agreed they where. Anyway, she said I had one more chance, so I agreed to change for her. She didnt seem convinced, but I had my chance. The next day I went out, and did some serious thinking. This relationship, her, I needed to save it and make things better. That evening I contacted her, and started speaking to her on MSN (We are living apart with parents, but kinda live over eachothers houses). She seemed...quiet to say the least. We agreed we had to talk, so I rang her up, and well quite basicly she said she would feel the same way if she gave me that chance, and that she needed to be selfish to make herself happy. And well...there and then with great hesitation we broke up. She couldnt even say the words, but I knew thats what she wanted so I accepted that. However she said we could still be friends. I tried to convince her that I could and would change, but she just said this was what I wanted, not her, and that this was her choice.
After this, we met up again two days later at college. The feelings where...uncomfortable, for both of us. just not being able to interact in that way, all I could to was turn my back and burst into tears. Then she went home feling ill because of the confrontation, and since then I havnt been able to speak to her.
I really dont know what to do. I know a good stage to start with is communication, and I really REALLY want to ring her. But If I rang her, I fear i would only make things worse for her, along with not knowing what to say. And when I get the chance to confront the situation with her, she usualy just...dissapears. This change that she wants, I know I can make it so, but she doesnt seem to be so convinced.
I guess im just looking for some advice on the situation, I love this woman with all of my heart, but I dont want to do anything to hurt her. I really would give anything to save and fix the relationship. Please, I dont know what to do and I really just need some advice
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[yippkiyay]

OK I'm gonna tell you the hardest thing for you to here. At this point you can only do things to push her away. You cryed in front of her? Big Mistake! This may have worked with her in the past but when the relationship is in jeopardy subconsiously it scares them away. You have to stop contacting her for a while. at leats a month only time can hel. and you have to focus on your self. maybe you guys have a shot down the road. but not now? do you think she is seeing someone else?

[sedgwick]

The very best thing you can do is just back off. If she's told you you're being too clingy, and you want to show her that you can change, give her what she wants. Just walk away. The ball is in her court. She'll have far more respect for you, and will see that you have more respect for her, if you back off rather than chase her. Give her a chance to miss you. She knows how you feel, you don't have to tell her.

[Pentula77]

Originally Posted by Vanah

Anyway, she said I had one more chance, so I agreed to change for her.

this is not a position you want to be in....it's ok though, it happens to all of us and it sucks. The worst part is when she tells you she's seeing another dude

Peronally when they start giving you this bs about "another chance" tell em thanks thats nice but you've just started studying spartan101 and you haven't got time at the moment.