Ok so I'm 26 and still living with my parents. It doesn't bother me that I live with my parents to a degree...but I'm wondering what guys really think of a girl of my age still living at home. Now I have lived on my own before, when I was 18 I went away to college, met my ex bf, then came back to my home town and moved into an apartment with him from when I was 19-24. But I'd rather not get an apartment by myself because it's a waste of money, to me it's not a good investment. So I'm trying to save up for a condo or a house. Anyway if a guy brings it up, I get sorta defensive, not in a mean way, but I quickly defend myself, and then I think they might get annoyed if they can never hang out at my place because I don't have one.
So I need some opinions on this topic!
It wouldn't really bother me that much. It's a smart way to go. Then again, I'm renting a place by myself now, and it's way more room than what I need. I figure it's not worth all the moving since I plan on buying sometime anyway. I've got plenty of space for company here, and it's comfortable... I think it would depend on the guy's situation though, and whether he has roomates or not.
__________________
When you were yourself it tasted sweet
But it sours into a routine deceit
Well this drama is a bore
And I don't want to play no more - Third Eye Blind
If you are saving up money for a house or apartment, I completely understand. But it does matter how you get along with your parents. If they drive you crazy, then it would give me pause to see a girlfriend living at a place that made her irritated. Then again, if things went well she could move to my place.
I can relate. I'm 36 and live "at home". Thing is, I do it because I'm a caretaker. And there have been times when it has made it very hard to date. Some men assume if I'm living with family I must be somehow dependent on them or unable to grow up. It's sometimes hard to disabuse them of that notion without oversharing about my family and besides, until I know them better, it's really none of their business. I know it's not the kind of advice you were looking for; just wanted to let you know I empathize.
My last gf lived with her parents and I'd care not to revisit those circumstances, though in my case, it was because she had NEVER moved out (and she worked at a job her dad got her). I want someone who has been on their own.
Your situation is different. I would date but I'd want the girl to WANT to move out and have a plan for doing it, as in "I'm trying to save $400 a month for the next 12 months so I can buy a place."
My reasons are:
(1) sex is more uncomfortable if you live with your parents. While this is not a dealbreaker at all, I want to have sex with my gf and sleep in her bed every now and then. At the very least, the parents would have to be comfortable with me sleeping in my gf's bed every now and then. This is an issue because if you spend the night at my house 3-4 times a week, and that's not balanced by me at your house, I honestly feel taken advantage of.
(2) I'm scared of getting attached to the parents, too. Living with parents means your bf will meet them and see them more often. I really liked my ex's parents and it made the breakup more difficult.
(3) I actually believe meeting parents and family is a big deal. I make a great impression on older people, but there are all kinds of things to worry about when a girl lives with her parents. Do I owe them a small christmas gift even if I've only dated you several months, when if you didn't live with them, I probably wouldn't have met them yet? Those issues come up. I care not to face them again.
But ultimately, I would do it again, as long as I felt the girl had reasons for living at home and a timeframe for when she wanted to be out. She'd have to have lived on her own at some point -- preferably alone too -- and made the choice to go back because it made sense at the time, and was a temporary arrangement.
I live with my parents and it's not an issue. If it is with my man then he can leave moi!
I used to live on my own but moved back in with my parents when my 3rd brother got married. My parents are in their 60s so I feel the need to take care of them while I am still single. It's the only way I can pay back for all the loving, caring and everything else they have done for me. It's not a big issue in my culture - still living with parents at this age..
__________________
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Ok so I'm 26 and still living with my parents. It doesn't bother me that I live with my parents to a degree...but I'm wondering what guys really think of a girl of my age still living at home. Now I have lived on my own before, when I was 18 I went away to college, met my ex bf, then came back to my home town and moved into an apartment with him from when I was 19-24. But I'd rather not get an apartment by myself because it's a waste of money, to me it's not a good investment. So I'm trying to save up for a condo or a house. Anyway if a guy brings it up, I get sorta defensive, not in a mean way, but I quickly defend myself, and then I think they might get annoyed if they can never hang out at my place because I don't have one.
So I need some opinions on this topic!
Not an issue at all, as long as you are not just sitting back and depending on your parents, which isn't the case here.
Good luck. I know how difficult it is to try and save money to move out.
__________________
Minds are like parachutes......they only work when open.
Hey- I live with my parents and I'm a guy at 25. In Southern Cal its expensive and i do have some money save up to get my condo soon. I refuse to spend over a $1000 in rent and there is no investment in it. Making someone else rich is not my thing.
Not that double standards are great, but in our society, I think its more acceptable for the girl to stay at home longer than a guy.
I'm in my late 20's and I live on my own. I sometimes get jealous of my male buddies who are my age and don't have to fork down $2k a month on rent. What I would do with an extra $2k a month??? Hmmmmmmmm...........
well phew...thanks everyone..at least I'm getting good positive feedback on this issue, so that makes me feel good My parents and I get along, so nothing like that is a problem, but I think for my sake, it's good because I don't want to rush into a house just yet, I want to pay off all my bills before I jump into a big investment.
And Cobra you're right, the guy doesn't seem to mind and he's known ever since he met me, so I'm thinking if it were a problem he would've ditched me along time ago! I just get a lil defensive on the issue just because I don't want anyone to think I'm a daddy or mommy's girl and that I'm slow to get out on my own, but that's not the case!
Hey- I live with my parents and I'm a guy at 25. In Southern Cal its expensive and i do have some money save up to get my condo soon. I refuse to spend over a $1000 in rent and there is no investment in it. Making someone else rich is not my thing.
yah my friend lives in LA and the rent is SO expensive I don't know how she does it!! I do know that she had some money passed down from her family, but still.
Not that double standards are great, but in our society, I think its more acceptable for the girl to stay at home longer than a guy.
I'm in my late 20's and I live on my own. I sometimes get jealous of my male buddies who are my age and don't have to fork down $2k a month on rent. What I would do with an extra $2k a month??? Hmmmmmmmm...........
And Cobra you're right, the guy doesn't seem to mind and he's known ever since he met me, so I'm thinking if it were a problem he would've ditched me along time ago! I just get a lil defensive on the issue just because I don't want anyone to think I'm a daddy or mommy's girl and that I'm slow to get out on my own, but that's not the case!
Thanks Riddler, I hope you're doing well!
If a guy is going to decide whether to ditch you or not based on if you live with your parents while trying to save money, then he is not much of a guy IMO.
You are welcome.
I am doing great. Thanks for the concern. I hope likewise for you.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Thing is, I do it because I'm a caretaker. And there have been times when it has made it very hard to date. Some men assume if I'm living with family I must be somehow dependent on them or unable to grow up. It's sometimes hard to disabuse them of that notion without oversharing about my family and besides, until I know them better, it's really none of their business. I know it's not the kind of advice you were looking for; just wanted to let you know I empathize.
Linear Mode
