[bluepoppy]

One of my boyfriends friends is a bit of a tosser towards me (if it was more than one, I'd consider it an issue, as it's just one, I consider it a personality thing)

But about a year ago, he started to not be very nice to me. So I backed off and just didn't do anything as a three - very much giving boyfriend time to have time with his friend, but not with me there. Initially b/f was very unhappy about this, but I made a decision to not go whinning everytime I felt slighted, as this would be interferring with his friendship. I sort regret that now, as the b/f saw me taking a dislike for reasons he couldn't explain.

Finally after a year of this nonesene, he witnessed his friend being a real a*** hole towards me. I was rock-climbing at the time with another person (one of the calmest and most sensible guys in the world) and my climbing partner wrote this guy off as a tosser after the encounter.

Talked about it with the boyfriend, who thought I was being too sensitive, but as I told him if this guy didn't know me, what he was doing would just be being an a***hole, but as he knew me quite well, he knew the buttons to bush - and was being vindictive.

Anyway this guy is having his 40th birthday, and I'm not invited. It does bother me, as I've done nothing - other than be my boyfriends girlfriend.

Came off the phone with b/f - who isn't happy either way, and blamed me for not liking him. I said, look the reason I don't like him, is he's not nice to me, I named the weekend it started, and said I didn't go running to you every time he wasn't nice to me, as I know he's important to you, but I'm not happy that you have friends who think it's ok to treat me badly.

We went back and forth a bit, as I said that I think this guy is trying and succeeding in causing trouble between us. B/f said how do I know it's not you whose causing trouble. I repeated when it started and said I have done nothing and you've seen what he's like with me now. Apartently this guy approached b/f two weekends ago and said I think your g/f doesn't like me.

I'm half wondering if to try and make peace with it - email this guy and say look we should go out for a coffee, for my b/f sake, as the fact is I don't like him that much as the things he says and does doesn't come across that nice, but it makes b/f life complex so should try and make it easier or something like that. Not sure how I'd phrase it really. As that could majorly backfire on me.

Don't know.

Thoughts.

[wizer]

I wouldn't go anywhere near someone who is a suspected "tosser".

BTW, what's a "tosser"?

[bluepoppy]

Tosser = A stupid or loathsome person. I believe the US equivalant is jerk

[wizer]

It could be a simple misunderstanding between you and the friend. While it's commendable that you attempted to just stay out of it and giving your boyfriend time and space with his buddy...by not talking about it the problem has gotten worse.

I don't know about going out with this guy for coffee, why not just call him up and say "what's the deal?". Get it all out on the table and see what he has to say for himself. Maybe even record the conversation to show your BF later on...lol...

[peace_pipe]

Sometimes a couple can be very annoying.

I have two great friends who are in a serious relationship. I really enjoy hanging out with them seperately, but when they are together it is just annoying as hell.

They talk about the smallest things, then bicker over them. Some of our other mutual friends feel the same way.

Maybe that is part of it.

Or maybe he just plain out thinks you are annoying?

Could be jealousy, but I wouldn't automatically assume that.

[bluepoppy]

I don't think we're an annoying couple - but what do I know. He doesn;t give me the impression he likes me particularly much either. The guy has issues. His wife has moved out because he won;t communicate about things. he's very competitive as well.

I guess I'm thinking I have to resolve this, for the sucess of my own realationship. Not because I want any kind of friendship with this guy. Initially I thought I could get away with just having our friendship separate, but this does upset boyfriend. - and in turn this causes tension with my b/f - which is not what I want at all

I'm now thinking I should invite him round for meal - with b/f there - and then just start of with I think there's been a misunderstanding - and let him talk, and try and come to some kind of way to bring him round. It won't be easy - he's spent the last year being antagonistic towards me.