Afraid to Commit?

stangbabe

Help me! I've been dating this guy for one year now. He spends every waking moment with me and treats me better than anyone ever has. He's a good person, extremely honest, sometimes too honest! Here are some problems I am faced with, and I just need some advice. I don't know whether to hang on or bail out! I am madly in love with him, but obviously the feelings aren't mutual. He keeps telling me that love takes time, to be patient, but he tells me that he cares very deeply for me, but is not in love with me. Part of me is glad that he doesn't just tell me he loves me, like some men will do, but part of me wants him to sooo bad! I know I can't make him feel something he doesn't. I'm so used to these relationships where the guy is saying he loves you in 3 weeks, and he doesn't. This is probably the most healthy relationship I've had, yet there are some problems, but nothing serious. He has a bit of an attitude sometimes, and is not afraid to speak his mind! I'm the total opposite! I guess that's a strong point in a way as he doesn't get "dumped on" by others as I do!! He says he's happy for the most part, but the relationship isn't everything he wants, but that it has good potential to be. There are some areas that I've been affected due to sexual abuse issues that cause some problems, but I'm working through them. I've never had to be patient for anything in my life, unfortunately, and the wait is killing me. I don't want to trash the best thing that's ever happened to me, if this truly is, but I really don't know what to do. Also, he is 31, I'm 39. He is very mature and has a good head on his shoulders, but there are some issues that are probably age related. I got "fixed", don't want more kids, he's not sure if he does or not. I got angry at him the other day and "threw him out" and told him not to come back until he figured out what it is that he wants. Needless to say, he was back the next day. The most confusing thing is, I'm used to people telling me they love me and not showing it, he doesn't tell me he loves me, but shows it! I asked him the other day, "how can you treat me like you do and not love me"? His response was, "just imagine how much better it will be if I do fall in love with you". HELP!!!!!!!! I need honest answers!!!