I honestly cannot believe my ex has still not contacted me. We broke up four months ago. Had limited contact for two months and now its two months NC.
I miss her terribly. Its pretty bad today.
I dont know why. It might be due to me knowing her gradnfather passed away and that i caught a fleeting glance of her driving towards me on the way to work.
We could have worked through the problems.
She is mourning her grandfather, i wish i was there for her.
But i have to remain strong.
Seeing her at my best friends wedding in Nov will be hard on me (he introduced us) will be very hard on me.
At least in my situation, she knows what she is throwing away... She even made a list of all the things she loved about me and would no longer be able to enjoy now that we are broken up... If your ex spent any considerable amount of time with you, she knows exactly what she is throwing away. Obviously, if you've made changes to improve yourself and have been in NC, she won't know those things...
After this length of time apart, are you still certain that you want her back? Do you just miss her physical presence but don't see yourself with her? Just curious about what she is up to?
Lots of people on here say not to break NC but do what you want... If you're not prepared to hear a worse-case scenario (she is madly in love with someone), then I would avoid breaking NC. If you KNOW you can handle whatever it is she has to say, then by all means give her a call.
Tough call man...you risk losing all the progress you've made thus far if you contact her but on the other hand you may always regret not giving her a call...
I honestly cannot believe my ex has still not contacted me. We broke up four months ago. Had limited contact for two months and now its two months NC.
I miss her terribly. Its pretty bad today.
I dont know why. It might be due to me knowing her gradnfather passed away and that i caught a fleeting glance of her driving towards me on the way to work.
We could have worked through the problems.
She is mourning her grandfather, i wish i was there for her.
But i have to remain strong.
Seeing her at my best friends wedding in Nov will be hard on me (he introduced us) will be very hard on me.
I dont know what i would say or do.
Should i break NC?
No, don't break contact.
And no, they do not realize what they have lost because to them, they've lost little in comparision to what they have gained. From their perspective of course. Remember, your ex doesn't quite see things the way you do.
Otherwise they'd not be an ex.
__________________ ...the purpose of a doormat is to wipe your feet on it, not love and respect it. - Balthazar
And no, they do not realize what they have lost because to them, they've lost little in comparision to what they have gained. From their perspective of course. Remember, your ex doesn't quite see things the way you do.
Otherwise they'd not be an ex.
That is what I was referring to in my post...my ex fully understands what she is losing...but puts more value on what she is getting by leaving (i.e. her freedom, etc...)
As far as breaking contact, I really think it depends on what your motivation is. From one of your other posts, you have stated that you understand she isn't a good match for you and that she is immature. Obviously, if she wanted you back she would have made a phone call, smoke signal, etc... Obviously, this is not a concern for her right now. If your goal is merely out of curiosity or you want her in your life (as a friend) and you are prepared for the worse case scenario, it might be beneficial to finally get some closure.
This closure was one of the key steps for me to get over her in the romantic sense. It took her slapping me with the I am no longer in love with you statement for me to take a deeper look at my own feelings for her and how I had fallen out of love, as well... The pain of rejection and lack of physical closeness was what my motivation for reconciliation centered around and I hadn't even realized it until she put the smack down on me emotionally.
Just take a deep look at what your motivation for contacting her is. The chances that you contacting her after so long of NC will lead to reconciliation is next to nill, in my opinion!
Well i sent a txt message as follows:
"Sorry about your grandpa. I hope you are ok"
She replied, one hour later:
"I'm OK......Thanks for the txt message"
After two months of LC and 2 months of NC. I was surprised to even recieve a response.
The main thing is she is ok...
And thats about all you can do... She knows you still care and have opened a door for communication if she wants it. Good call, in my opinion. Obviously, be careful not to fall back into depression should she not call/text you in the future. Good luck!
And thats about all you can do... She knows you still care and have opened a door for communication if she wants it. Good call, in my opinion. Obviously, be careful not to fall back into depression should she not call/text you in the future. Good luck!
I have ZERO expectations.
We are both going to see eachother at a mutual friends wedding in two months.
Whether we talk or whatnot, we will see what happens.
I should do nothing contact-wise from this point onwards UNTIL she (if ever) contacts me...
We are both going to see eachother at a mutual friends wedding in two months.
Whether we talk or whatnot, we will see what happens.
I should do nothing contact-wise from this point onwards UNTIL she (if ever) contacts me...
Am i correct in assuming this?
Yes Donza, you did a good thing.
About your original question, "Do they ever realize what they threw away"
Yep! but from my experience, it's usually once you have already moved on, with or without someone else, not too often while you are still pining for them, although that does happen sometimes.
I should do nothing contact-wise from this point onwards UNTIL she (if ever) contacts me...
Am i correct in assuming this?
In my opinion, yes, you should no longer make contact. She knows that the door is open should she want to use it. Let her come to you (if she ever wants to). Now do your best to get her out of your head...stay busy, go on dates, etc, etc... You know the routine!
From your perspective they threw something great away..
From their perspective they just dodged a bullet.
From their perspective they might realize that they miss the other and correct the situation..
As the dumpee you don't have the ability to know what they are feeling right now..
The best you can hope for is that they are moving on..Most second chances have less of a chance of working than the first shot had..
IMO for there to be a shot then there must be contact and communication.. but you both are not talking so you need to keep up the NC and continue to heal..
__________________
~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~
...Most second chances have less of a chance of working than the first shot had..
Considering that for a second chance to even be possible, the first shot must have ended in every case, that means a probability less than zero. That's a pretty bleak outlook, Art.
__________________
D, world destruction, Over an overture, N, do I need apostrophe T, need this torture?
Don't don't don't let's start I've got a weak heart.
.....Most second chances have less of a chance of working than the first shot had....
This was fairly accurate in my LTR. First go at it lasted 3years and a couple of months. The second chance lasted 9 months... And I wanted a third shot at it...I wonder how long that one would have lasted...
This was fairly accurate in my LTR. First go at it lasted 3years and a couple of months. The second chance lasted 9 months... And I wanted a third shot at it...I wonder how long that one would have lasted...
It really depends on the situation and *if* you broke up due to personality conflict. If it was due that then well.. this is enterily true.
No one ever changes, people only get temporarily adapted and this is usually against their will.
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