Hi everyone, this is my first post. I am facing a difficult decision and I need some unbiased opinions. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.
My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year, and up until now, I have been extremely happy. He absolutely adores me, and would do anything for me. I love him too, and respect him, and I know I shouldn't take his love for granted because I am extremely lucky to have found someone who loves me as much as he does, but I'm not sure he's the right person for me.
I wasn't having any doubts until a few months ago. Suddenly we went from a normal, healthy young couple to an old, married couple that's lost the spark. We never have sex. When we do, I have to make the first move, and we end up having the same boring sex that just makes me more frustrated than I was before. I'm lucky if we have sex more than once a month, and I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed it. I have talked to him about it SERIOUSLY and told him how important it is to me, we've tried to come up with solutions, but it just isn't working. He isn't into it, and I'm getting more and more frustrated.
My frustration over the lack of sex is starting to show up in other ways. I'm beginning to notice things about him that never bothered me before, and they're starting to drive me crazy.
He has terrible time management skills. He spends TONS of time trying to get all of his work and errands done, so usually when we're together, we're trying to take care of things and finish projects, so we never relax and just enjoy our time together. I insisted that we go on a date last Friday night, and he was in "go-mode" the whole time instead of just relaxing and enjoying my company. We were at dinner, and I mentioned something about the loud woman next to us, and he said "I just want to eat and get to the movie, there is no use complaining about the people around us." Some date that was.
We hardly go out together, we spend more time hanging out at home than anything. He travels a lot for work, so when he goes out of town, I spend a lot of time with my friends from work and have a blast. I have brought him along before, and he never has fun. I think he feels threatened by them because he sees how much fun I have when I'm with them and it bothers him. I try really hard to make him feel better, and invite him along with us and include him, but he doesn't really have anything in common with them.
He also has a terrible internet addiction which really bothers me. He'll come over, I'm cooking dinner after working my butt off all day, and he plops himself down in front of my computer and ignores me. Drives me up the wall.
I know I've just been listing the negatives, and that really isn't fair, because the positives outweigh the negatives. He is a wonderful guy, he treats me with respect, he loves me, and he wants things to work. He is always talking about plans for the future and we have talked about opening a business together. He is extremely smart and has great goals and I want things to work with him, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with one person if that person can't satisfy me sexually. He has no desire to experiment and sex just isn't as important to him as it is to me.
I don't know what to do. I love him, and I really, really, really don't want to break his heart. The thought of doing so really tears me up. I would miss him terribly, and I don't want to be unfair to him, but he isn't making an effort and we have discussed it numerous times. I know it's pointless to drag it on because I know I won't be happy in the long run. I can't stand the thought of never talking to him again though, and I don't know how we could possibly be friends if we broke up.
I don't know what to do.
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